# Which TV husband or wife would you most NOT want for your spouse. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 26, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877 "2011-10-26T17:05:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/41 "2011-10-27T01:42:11Z")
Gabrielle Solis or Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/42 "2011-10-27T02:02:52Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I was going to say Patricia Heaton’s character from Everybody Loves Raymond (or Patricia Heaton herself, for that matter), but Betty Draper is a better answer. Hijack: The writer Del Shores tells a hysterical story about Rue McLanahan and Patricia Heaton. This is a paraphrasing of his version: Rue was on location in Louisiana filming [Sordid Lives: the Series](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1078273/). One day between takes she was watching TV in her trailer with her husband, Del, and co-star [Leslie Jordan](http://www.google.com/search?q=leslie+jordan&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&biw=1002&bih=558) and while watching a repeat of _Everybody Loves Raymond_ Rue’s husband casually mentioned that he thought Patricia Heaton had poor posture. Rue went into a tangent. “That is so obnoxious of you and so sexist! Jack Nicholson could be in a movie where he stumbles on with a walker and his girlfriend’s played by some 25 year old actress and nobody’s going to say anything about it but if it’s a woman the most trivial imperfection is such a huge deal…” blah blah yadda yadda. The husband ended up leaving. (I think they were actually separated at the time of her death) but Rue kept venting about how rude he was even after he was gone. Leslie Jordan finally said “I didn’t even notice her posture. I cain’t stand her cause she’s a big ol’ bi-itch.” Rue asked why he’d say that and he said “She’s always doin’ these fundraisers for Anti-Gay marriage, anti-gay this and anti-gay that, anti-abortion, goin’ on Bill O’Reilly and and writin’ editorials out about every other damned Bible-beater she’s for.” Rue was surprised to learn this and doubtful so Leslie Jordan pulled up a couple of her editorials. Rue read a bit of one and said “Well… she’s pretty dang opinionated for a bitch that can’t even stand up straight!” [/HIJACK] ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/43 "2011-10-27T02:36:57Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > Married With Children had a series finale. No, it did not. The rug was pulled out from under them after all filming in the final season was completed. They had a season finale, but it isn’t like the show ever had unresolved plot threads or cliffhangers to clean up (except for the true story of Jefferson’s past). The series finale was putting a thank you block of text on the season finale. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/44 "2011-10-27T02:42:31Z")
I don’t think I ever saw the spin-off, but **Helen Roper** would be at the top of my list. Stanley had every right to be not interested in bedroom gymnastics. a Subservient wife like **Edith Bunker** would drive me up a wall. No one has mentioned **Maude Finley**? ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/45 "2011-10-27T03:01:37Z")
Two words: Janice Soprano. One of the most repellent characters ever written–not to mention that if she doesn’t kill you, her brother will. And if he doesn’t, you’re still going to get whacked in some pathetic model train store. Plus, she is the worst step-mom in the history of television. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/46 "2011-10-27T03:06:11Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > Two words: Janice Soprano. > > One of the most repellent characters ever written–not to mention that if she doesn’t kill you, her brother will. And if he doesn’t, you’re still going to get whacked in some pathetic model train store. > > Plus, she is the worst step-mom in the history of television. I’ll see your Janice and raise you Livia Soprano. All Janice’s nastiness, distilled into one EVIL woman. But I’m female, and wouldn’t be marrying either one – hmm – so many losers on TV, which will I pick? Let me think about this some more and get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/47 "2011-10-27T03:19:36Z")
Huh. I was waiting for someone to say Archie Bunker. His acerbic, insensitive, egotistical personality would not suit me in the least. But I love, love, loved that show. George Jefferson wasn’t much better. I had to laugh at the mention of \*King of Queens \*schlub. I thought the same. And I hate that show. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/48 "2011-10-27T03:35:58Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > My vote goes to the shrieking harpy that is Deborah Barone. In all fairness, the poor woman is raising four children by herself, and one of whom is in his 40’s. You wouldn’t be all sweetness and light, either. In fact, Ray is the TV husband I came in here to mention, along with all the other idiot man-child sitcom husbands in that same mold. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/49 "2011-10-27T03:43:10Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Another for Betty Draper. > > Surprised no one’s mentioned Walter White or Vic Mackey yet. Sigh…post 30. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/50 "2011-10-27T03:46:14Z")
Dexter Morgan. Now, I picked [a bad boy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14395873&postcount=25) in the other thread, but he’s not the sort of bad boy to kill people (on purpose), and _his_ illicit activities don’t include baiting rival serial killers so are far less likely to land me dead in a bathtub with our baby sitting in my blood. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/51 "2011-10-27T03:46:42Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I’ll see your Janice and raise you Livia Soprano. All Janice’s nastiness, distilled into one EVIL woman. > > But I’m female, and wouldn’t be marrying either one – hmm – so many losers on TV, which will I pick? Let me think about this some more and get back to you. I have a hard time imagining Livia as a wife as we only ever met her as an old lady. But I’ll grant you that whoever spawned Janice must necessarily be a great evil. Sure, Livia tried to have her son killed, but Janice did the killing herself (admittedly for just cause). Of her three love interests on the show, all three get murdered. And they were probably all grateful for it. As for men, any character on the Sopranos or Deadwood would qualify. Mayor Farnum, Al Swearingen, Ralph Ciferetto, the guy who killed Vito Spattafore, they all give me the creeps. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/52 "2011-10-27T03:46:50Z")
American candidate: Mary Hartman. She wanders around like she’s swallowed entire cases of barbituates. Her daughter is a basket case, her best friend is an utter moron, and grandpa’s a sex deviant. Plus weird things keep happening around her like she’s a hex. British candidate:Hyancith Bucket. A woman without a single redeeming quality. You know why this was set in England? If it was set it the US, Richard Bucket would have stuck a shotgun in his mouth by episode 2. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/53 "2011-10-27T05:39:26Z")
Any of the married/divorced/separated/together again/totally screwed up main characters on _Nip/Tuck._ ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/54 "2011-10-27T07:28:27Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin. Peter is like a vastly stupider Homer Simpson stripped of all his decency. > [@lieu](#): > > Peggy Hill. She’s jealous, stubborn, arrogant and sometimes painfully stupid, but she has hidden talents, she loves her husband and son, is good to her friends and is at least tolerant of those she dislikes. In a way, I’d say she’s a bit like a female Homer Simpson. > [@](#): > > Hyancith Bucket This ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/55 "2011-10-27T08:07:50Z")
Some oldies: Fred Mertz Ralph Kramden Archie Bunker ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/56 "2011-10-27T12:29:57Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > I have a hard time imagining Livia as a wife as we only ever met her as an old lady. But I’ll grant you that whoever spawned Janice must necessarily be a great evil. We do see Livia a couple of times as a younger woman in flashback. Pretty scary then too. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/57 "2011-10-27T12:42:59Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Sigh…post 30. And 24. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/58 "2011-10-27T12:48:44Z")
Pretty much any show in which the husband is badly overweight. Like Kevin James or Jim Belushi. I’m just not physically attracted to this sort of fellow, with the exception of John Goodman in Roseanne. He’s adorable enough that I might give him a pass. I guess Kevin James would lead my list. I don’t watch the show, so I don’t know his name on there. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/59 "2011-10-27T14:49:17Z")
Why all the hate for Peg Bundy? Sure, she doesn’t cook or clean. But she always seems to be horny. That has to count for something! ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877/60 "2011-10-27T15:00:32Z")
Heh, why not Livia Drusilla from _I, Claudius_? Hell, most of the characters from that show would qualify (If I was a woman, neither Caligula nor Tiberius would be a “catch”. 😃 And one could wish for a better wife than Messalina … !) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-tv-husband-or-wife-would-you-most-not-want-for-your-spouse/600877.md?page=4)