# Which would decompose faster: a Slim Jim or a corpse? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 19, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755 "2007-09-19T15:48:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/1 "2007-09-19T15:48:46Z")
Millions, Last night, after a bandmate demanded we bury him in a coffin filled with Slim Jims, a discussion about the virtual indestructibility of Slim Jims began. We imagined a Thunder Dome-y, post-apocalypse filled with SPAM, cockroaches, Slim Jims, and Tina Turner. And then we wondered, apropos the original statement: “which would decompose faster: a Slim Jim or a corpse?” I want to ask about a hypothetic unwrapped Slim Jim as well as the about the half-life of a wrapped Slim Jim. I realize there isn’t a whole discipline of chemistry devoted to over-salted snack 'ems, but if I can get this answer anywhere it’s the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/2 "2007-09-19T15:54:29Z")
The Slim Jim. It’s much smaller. Now if you had a corpse-sized Slim Jim… ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/3 "2007-09-19T15:56:15Z")
[QUOTE=Birdmonster] a hypothetic unwrapped Slim Jim [/QUOTE] Damn strait, 'cause there ain’t no such thing as a real unwrapped Slim Jim. There’s wrapped Slim Jims, and there’s empty wrappers. At least, that’s how it is as Chez Knead. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/4 "2007-09-19T16:02:32Z")
I don’t know, I bet a Slim Jim has more preservatives than an untreated corpse. I imagine the Slim Jim would just dry out and still look pretty much like a Slim Jim, not so sure about a corpse (even an embalmed one). ---
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/5 "2007-09-19T16:18:36Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] I don’t know, I bet a Slim Jim has more preservatives than an untreated corpse. I imagine the Slim Jim would just dry out and still look pretty much like a Slim Jim, not so sure about a corpse (even an embalmed one). [/QUOTE] That was my thought as well. Regardless of the size, I feel like the Slim Jim is, essentially, indestructible; borderline inorganic, even. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/6 "2007-09-19T16:41:48Z")
Are there any Brits reading the OP and thinking Slim Jim = crowbar? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/7 "2007-09-19T16:45:15Z")
God I love this place. I was involved in the clean up and restoration of a convenience store my parents purchased in 1990. At that time, it had been closed for about 5 years. In the clean up I found an opened Slim Jim package with the delicious morsel still inside. Aside from the dust, it looked exactly ilke a Slim Jim. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/8 "2007-09-19T16:50:35Z")
[QUOTE=plnnr] God I love this place. I was involved in the clean up and restoration of a convenience store my parents purchased in 1990. At that time, it had been closed for about 5 years. In the clean up I found an opened Slim Jim package with the delicious morsel still inside. Aside from the dust, it looked exactly ilke a Slim Jim. [/QUOTE] … **WELL?** How did it _taste_? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/9 "2007-09-19T17:27:46Z")
Precisely what I’d hoped he’d tell us. DETAILS, MAN. 'Cause you know you at least tried a bite. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/10 "2007-09-19T18:13:21Z")
He did say it was “delicious.” ---
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/11 "2007-09-19T18:15:38Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] Are there any Brits reading the OP and thinking Slim Jim = crowbar? [/QUOTE] They are equally durable, essentially. I’m pretty sure you could bat in a slow pitch softball game with a Slim Jim. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/12 "2007-09-19T18:43:25Z")
[QUOTE=scout1222] Precisely what I’d hoped he’d tell us. DETAILS, MAN. 'Cause you know you at least tried a bite. [/QUOTE] You’d pretty much HAVE to, no? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/13 "2007-09-19T18:45:31Z")
[QUOTE=zoid] … **WELL?** How did it _taste_? [/QUOTE] Uhhmm, I dunno. Kinda like mastadon. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/14 "2007-09-19T20:18:44Z")
No fucking way. I won’t drink milk if it is day past expiration. Of course, Slim Jim’s have no expiration date, but I still wasn’t sticking that thing in my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/15 "2007-09-19T20:38:27Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] Are there any Brits reading the OP and thinking Slim Jim = crowbar? [/QUOTE] Not too far off, actually. For those of you who aren’t aware, Slim Jims are some kind of smoked meat-ish, jerky-ish sausage-ish extruded food rod. If you squeeze them, orange grease will ooze from the end They actually don’t taste all that bad, believe it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Iggins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Iggins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggins)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/16 "2007-09-19T21:11:59Z")
There is a rental house near my place. When walking the dog, I noticed an opened Slim Jim, with about 1/2 of the meat-ish goodness protruding out of the wrapper, in the front lawn near a garbage pile (the place is/was a dump, and the pile had been removed). The Jim remained behind, and I watched it for over two months, in the elements, and it didn’t change appearance at all. One day it was gone. It was strangest to me that the Jim didn’t get eaten by an animal right away. Interesting and repulsive. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/17 "2007-09-19T21:20:31Z")
Now, if we could get Twinkie’s _filled_ with Slim Jim’s, we’d have the perfect post-apocalyptic meal. Carbos. Protein. Preservatives. 😃 And, to answer the O.P. I’d think we’d need to have two experts that I have not seen here as Dopers: A mortician and a meat packer. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Birdmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71e660/32.png) [@Birdmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Birdmonster)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/18 "2007-09-19T21:31:50Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] And, to answer the O.P. I’d think we’d need to have two experts that I have not seen here as Dopers: A mortician and a meat packer [/QUOTE] That’s unfortunate. What’s highly fortunately, on the other hand, is that we don’t have a Doper who is both. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/19 "2007-09-19T21:43:55Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] Are there any Brits reading the OP and thinking Slim Jim = crowbar? [/QUOTE] No, because I don’t think we’re generally familiar with that meaning of the term either. Slim Jms are similar to the item sold here under the brand name ‘Peperami’, aren’t they? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755/20 "2007-09-19T21:51:42Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Slim Jms are similar to the item sold here under the brand name ‘Peperami’, aren’t they? [/QUOTE] Yeah, I just went to the Peperami page at Unilever’s website. That looks very much like the same thing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-would-decompose-faster-a-slim-jim-or-a-corpse/419755.md?page=2)