# While being a guest in my house: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 16, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703 "2006-07-16T04:23:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/1 "2006-07-16T04:23:53Z")
When I say “my” house, I mean the house I live in, not one of the houses I own and rent out. My “home” is what I’m talking about: \*Don’t make repairs that I haven’t asked you to make. I’ll fix things that need fixin’ when I decide they need fixin’, and when I fucking decide to do them. \*Don’t chastise me for eating a snack 30 minutes before dinner. I’m a grown man and I’ll eat whenever the fuck I want. Whats it to you anyway? I always clean my plate at dinner. I’m a big boy. \*Don’t have a conniption because I’m smoking a cigar in my own back yard. I’ll smoke it in the guest room you’re staying in if I want too. \*It was 98 out today. (it was!:eek: ). Keep your greasy fingers off that central air switch. Go outside or hide in the guest room and close the vent if you’re cold. You live in Miami for fucks sake. What do you do there…freeze? \*At your house I bow my head at the dinner table & keep my mouth shut. At my house I do not participate in delusional babble to invisible pricks who live in the sky. Don’t worry about where I am and what I’m doing while you practice your ridiculous superstions. I’ll sit down at the table when it appears everyone is actually eating and not reciting ancient nursery rhymes. \*We’re not going with you to church bingo because winning $5 doesn’t seem worth it to us. Besides, while you’re gone I’m going to be busy doing what I do almost everyday for 26+ years: shooting gobs of hot cum down your daughters throat or in her cunt. We’d keep to our regular schedule doing that, but gawd forbid we wake you from one of your 5 daily naps!:rolleyes: :smack: 2 weeks gone, 2 more to go!!! 😃 I feel much better now! ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/2 "2006-07-16T04:36:06Z")
My first thought was inlaws. Then I kinda forgot that and kept reading. Then I started thinking your a shitty host. Then you got to mentioning inlaws again. I’ll side with you on this one 😃 I feel much better now! [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/3 "2006-07-16T04:38:29Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > \*We’re not going with you to church bingo because winning $5 doesn’t seem worth it to us. Besides, while you’re gone I’m going to be busy doing what I do almost everyday for 26+ years: shooting gobs of hot cum down your daughters throat or in her cunt. We’d keep to our regular schedule doing that, but gawd forbid we wake you from one of your 5 daily naps!:rolleyes: Dude, if you are stilling doing that nearly daily after 26+ years, just keep the smile on your face because “You Da Man!” and you are married to a great Woman. Nothing your In Law can do or say, should be able to bring you down. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/4 "2006-07-16T05:29:15Z")
Why the hell are they staying at your house for 4 weeks??!!?? :eek: :eek: I love your post by the way! ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/5 "2006-07-16T05:33:38Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > \*We’re not going with you to church bingo because winning $5 doesn’t seem worth it to us. Besides, while you’re gone I’m going to be busy doing what I do almost everyday for 26+ years: shooting gobs of hot cum down your daughters throat or in her cunt. 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/6 "2006-07-16T06:07:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Besides, while you’re gone I’m going to be busy doing what I do almost everyday for 26+ years: shooting gobs of hot cum down your daughters throat or in her cunt. That actually made me make the :eek: face. Nice imagry! Imagine actually shouting that at the dinner table? :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/7 "2006-07-16T06:20:26Z")
My first thought was visiting parents, then in-laws. You know, you work hard and get to a point where you set yourself up the way you want to live and then in-laws come in and completely disrespect it. They treat you like you’re a child and not an adult in his own home. I think the next time mine visit I’m going to make them sleep in separate beds. “I don’t care what you do in your home, but when you’re under my roof, you’ll follow my rules.” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/8 "2006-07-16T06:40:19Z")
> [@BoBettie](#): > > Nice imagry! Imagine actually shouting that at the dinner table? Letting in all out here is whats keeping me FROM shouting it at the dinner table.😉 > [@madmonk28](#): > > They treat you like you’re a child and not an adult in his own home. **BAM!!** Give the man a cigar! He can smoke inside my home if he wants! That’s dead on, EXACTLY right! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/9 "2006-07-16T07:56:18Z")
**pkbites** , you are my hero and I will buy you a cigar and the alcoholic beverage of your choice (the latter conditional on it being in or after the fourth quarter of 2007) if you are ever in San Diego or I am ever in Wisconsin. Drop me a line if you find yourself in this part of the world. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/10 "2006-07-16T08:19:00Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > **BAM!!** Give the man a cigar! He can smoke inside my home if he wants! That’s dead on, EXACTLY right! And that’s because it’s the instinct that they’ve developed. If you want anything to change, you have to confront them about it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior at all. But as entertaining as they are (and I appreciate you writing them for us), your posts here are **never** going to change your situation with them. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/11 "2006-07-16T11:42:48Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > My first thought was visiting parents, then in-laws. > > You know, you work hard and get to a point where you set yourself up the way you want to live and then in-laws come in and completely disrespect it. They treat you like you’re a child and not an adult in his own home. > > I think the next time mine visit I’m going to make them sleep in separate beds. “I don’t care what you do in your home, but when you’re under my roof, you’ll follow my rules.” OHMYGOD that would be beautiful. (My 83 year old mother in law just shared an interesting tidbit with me…her and FIL did it while they were sharing a bed with his brother!!!) ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/12 "2006-07-16T11:54:07Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > (My 83 year old mother in law just shared an interesting tidbit with me…her and FIL did it while they were sharing a bed with his brother!!!) … Did they do it years ago, or **lately**?! No wait, maybe I don’t want to know about this. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/13 "2006-07-16T12:15:18Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > … Did they do it years ago, or **lately**?! No wait, maybe I don’t want to know about this. I’m guessing it was probably last century. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/14 "2006-07-16T12:33:32Z")
Brilliant post! My father once commented about some “dust” near the molding near the floor on stairs going from the entryway to my kitchen. The place was only cleaner the day I moved in. A housekeeper I am not. A neatnik I’m definitely not. I told him to clean it if it bothered him so much. I couldn’t possibly care less. He cared. He did. 🙂 I must point out that Google really **does** have a sense of humor. The ads for this thread: Colon Cleansing for IBS Irritable Bowel Symptoms Nausea Upset Stomach? Stomach Pain & Bloating? ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/15 "2006-07-16T13:26:22Z")
Gobs of cum are all well and good, but this is _my_ favorite part: > [@pkbites](#): > > \*At your house I bow my head at the dinner table & keep my mouth shut. At my house I do not participate in delusional babble to invisible pricks who live in the sky. Don’t worry about where I am and what I’m doing while you practice your ridiculous superstions. I’ll sit down at the table when it appears everyone is actually eating and not reciting ancient nursery rhymes. You are my new best friend. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/16 "2006-07-16T13:42:27Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > … Did they do it years ago, or **lately**?! No wait, maybe I don’t want to know about this. Hpefully it was years ago when they were young and frisky. He’s been dead for a couple years, so I, like you, really don’t need to know if this was a recent event. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/17 "2006-07-16T15:22:24Z")
When we bought our house my in-laws came out and just second guessed everything. They have very different taste than we do, which is fine, but they just undermined everything. It’s this passive power play that you try to ignore in the interest of keeping the peace but that just encourages more of the behavior. Suddenly, you don’t mind staying late at the office while they’re visiting. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/18 "2006-07-16T16:34:23Z")
Anyone who fucks with my AC has a death wish. Put on a goddamned sweater. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/19 "2006-07-16T17:06:19Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > If you want anything to change, you have to confront them about it. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a very bold, assertive person. But seeing shes connected to the pussy having confrontations with my wifes parents isn’t the wisest thing to do. Though she agrees with me on most of these issues, there is a limit to what I can do about it and maintain peace. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Anyone who fucks with my AC has a death wish. Put on a goddamned sweater. According to that book adulterers, thieves, tax evaders, and liars end up in a place thats quite toasty & warm. All the shit he continuously pulls, and then thinks making sure everyone sees him pray at the table takes care of it. Luckily they don’t usually stay this long. Usually is _only_ for 2 weeks!:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703/20 "2006-07-16T17:22:51Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > \*Don’t make repairs that I haven’t asked you to make. I’ll fix things that need fixin’ when I decide they need fixin’, and when I fucking decide to do them. I agree with everything you said except this. If one of your visitors is a handyman type, he might be bored out of his gourd and itching for something to do. So let him fix that wonky light switch or the running toilet, and then show him where you keep the lawnmower. Work him hard enough, he might not want to come back. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-being-a-guest-in-my-house/364703.md?page=2)