# While you are re-aligning my Chi, can you also rotate my tires? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 8, 2007, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623 "2007-11-08T03:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/41 "2007-11-08T21:33:48Z")
> [@](#): > > F 176 Hz Colon Tuner So is this the proverbial “brown note”? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/42 "2007-11-08T21:45:53Z")
[QUOTE=Sal Ammoniac] F 176 Hz Colon Tuner [/QUOTE] Could I get an 88Hz semicolon tuner? ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/43 "2007-11-08T21:49:35Z")
I’m sorry, you’ll have to buy 4 of our 22 Hz hemidemisemicolon tuners. We’ll throw in a mallet for free. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/44 "2007-11-08T21:50:58Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] I pretty exhausted my knowledge of biology and biochemistry with that joke, so, explain please? [/QUOTE] I’m pretty sure you were over-thinking a lame joke. “There’s no tuning _fork_ for uracil.” So, you would need a _spoon_, see? [sup]I’m sorry…[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Dunawake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dunawake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunawake)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/45 "2007-11-08T21:53:01Z")
[QUOTE=Alice The Goon] Sounds like somebody needs a colon cleanse… you know, to flush your system of the toxins that are making you grumpy and sick. Somebody actually said that to me today (about someone else) and I wanted to stab them, but I didn’t. [/QUOTE] But if you had stabbed them, their Chi would flow oh-so-freely! You’d be doing them a favor! ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/46 "2007-11-08T22:17:22Z")
[QUOTE=Unauthorized Cinnamon] All this “alternative medicine” woo shit is really pissing me off lately. “Oh, what does it matter?” people say. I tell you, not only is it a waste of money and brain cells, but it also makes me seriously question the ability of the alleged expert who’s supposed to be providing me, again, reality-based services. [/QUOTE] That’s exactly my point. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/47 "2007-11-08T22:50:47Z")
[QUOTE=Sal Ammoniac] My God, the things you find! These same people are advertising a $200 organ-tuning set that includes the following: E 321.9 Hz Blood Tuner B 492.8 Hz Adrenal Tuner Eb 319.88 Hz Kidney Tuner Eb 317.83 Hz Liver Tuner F 352 Hz Bladder Tuner C 281 Hz Intestinal Tuner A 220 Hz Lung Tuner F 176 Hz Colon Tuner E 164.3 Hz Gall Bladder Tuner C 117.3 Hz Pancreas Tuner A 110 Hz Stomach Tuner Eb 315.8 Hz Brain Tuner C 295.8 Hz Fat Cells Tuner E 324 Hz Muscle Tuner Ab 418.3 Hz Bone Tuner Stomach tuning! [/QUOTE] New Age crap aside, is that a good price for that many tuning forks? Assuming you wanted more than A-440. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/48 "2007-11-09T23:00:58Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] What exactly does re-aligning your _chi_ entail? I don’t want it re-aligned. I want to learn how to throw spitballs of it around, like Ryu does in Street Fighter. That’d be pretty awesome. [/QUOTE] There are those who believe they can do just about that. I had a martial arts class where my teacher’s teacher came by for a lecture at his house. The thing consisted of a great deal of chi-based BS and culminated with a demonstration that I volunteered to be the dummy for. Supposedly he could “reverse your chi flow” by doing what looked suspiciously like waving his hand around in front of you. He demonstrated the significant weakening effects of this by having me stand in front of him with my arms at my side, with my elbows 90 degrees. My lower arms were sticking out in front of me. He would press down on the outstretched portion of my arms and I would resist. Then he did his hand waving thing in front of me (supposedly this was powerful enough that he could knock people down from across the room). Then he would press down on my arms again. This time he was able to push them down. “Do you know how I did that?” he asked. “Yes,” I responded. “How did I do that?” “You pushed harder the second time.” “No! The reversed chi caused you to be temporarily weakened so you could not resist my pushing on your arms.” “It really felt like you just pushed harder the second time.” I think he may actually think he didn’t push any harder and that he really has mystic powers. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/49 "2007-11-09T23:52:06Z")
[QUOTE=Mighty\_Girl] “This massage helps open up your spirit and re-aligns your Chi” [/QUOTE] :rolleyes: [Chi whiz!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=167264) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/50 "2007-11-10T00:23:27Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] A simple chi-realignment? Why, for just a small investment and a temporary suspension of incredulity, you can experience the fourth dimension, 5-D sound, and the wonders of [energized oxygen](http://www.oxygenresearch.com/oxybliss/). [/QUOTE] :eek: This energized oxygen stuff guarantees to improve “neuro-performance”: "Combines designer nutrition and cell oxygenation for enhanced physical and cognitive vitality and important anti aging co-factors. " I myself cannot get enough of designer nutrition. Why, I choose my meals and intake products _every single day_–because you just can’t be too careful. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/51 "2007-11-10T03:25:13Z")
Because Chi actually exists and only morons don’t believe in it. 😛 Seriously though, a good Shiatsu is the shizznit. I like it much better than Swedish. Though, today was my weekly acupuncture, so I get my Chi realigned all the time. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/52 "2007-11-10T03:40:57Z")
[QUOTE=Finagle] Man, I hate that woo-woo new age stuff. I was reading the thread on tuning forks in GQ the other day and got to thinking that it would be cool to have one, so I went browsing on EBay. Well, not surprisingly, it turns out that tuning forks have been adopting by the spiritualist pseudo-science crowd. This [listing](http://cgi.ebay.com/Metaform-DNA-Nucleotide-Tuning-Fork-Set-4-Pc-w-Case_W0QQitemZ120179641056QQihZ002QQcategoryZ1523QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) was my favorite. [/QUOTE] All Massage is based on that woo woo stuff. PH Ling went to China to study with all those New Agey masseuses who were realigning Chi with their new agey Tui Na and Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine hot off the presses three thousand years ago. There is no such thing as non woo-woo massage, there are only different modalities that are explained in a way that won’t offend your cultural sensibilities. Just ask for a strict Swedish Massage. If you aren’t into the realigning of the Chi you can just have them work on your trigger points and pain referral so you can get your energy realigned but not feel like you are betraying your western scientific heritage. Get more Janet Travell and less Yellow Emperor in your day. You won’t have to think about the fact that there is a high proportion of alignment between Travell’s trigger point referral patterns and the Shiatsu meridians, you can just have your sarcomeres poked and your myofascia yanked. What I’m surprised by is how often Massage therapists are idiots. I am studying both Swedish and Shiatsu, but I’d suss out a client before mentioning anything to them. If I saw that they would have some sort of emotional breakdown at the mention of an Asian modality I’d talk to them strictly about their muscles, keep it nice and material plane for them. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2007, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623/53 "2007-11-10T03:41:30Z")
Oh. I think my colon just cleansed itself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/while-you-are-re-aligning-my-chi-can-you-also-rotate-my-tires/425623.md?page=2)