# Whistling at Women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 9, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935 "2013-05-09T22:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/221 "2013-05-14T21:27:42Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Ok then. I was correct in my original post. Agreed. That’s how I read his original post and his follow up explanation confirms that. Just throwing this in here so you know you aren’t crazy (because my first thought was: “Wait, did he just. . .”). ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/222 "2013-05-14T21:36:57Z")
Once upon a time, before I crossed the magic age line that renders women invisible in America, I had a average looking face attached to a decent body. Nothing spectacular, mind you, but ok. And holy shit on a stick, I got harrassed almost every time I hit the streets. The gamut-whistles to catcalls. I wasn’t real confident or comfortable with my sexuality when I was younger and the attention made me miserable. I didn’t feel flattered- I felt like a piece of walking meat whose only value resided in her tits and twat. Nothing else about me counted. So no, I didn’t take the whistles as a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/223 "2013-05-14T21:45:00Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Ok then. I was correct in my original post. You’re damn right you were. ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2013, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/224 "2013-05-14T23:12:54Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Nope. I don’t feel an explanation is necessary. No opinion one way or the other because I don’t know her. What part of that is escaping you? I know others have already addressed this post but . . . Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? :rolleyes: [Tangent: the last month or so on this board has been incredibly depressing and demoralizing. The number of either unapologetically sexist, frighteningly obtuse, or condescendingly dismissive posts really surprised me. This thread is just the latest installment.] ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/225 "2013-05-15T00:38:24Z")
Rod (Serling)? Please transport me out of here and back to the Zone? Oh! The Zone is _full_? Okay, so what do I do? Say yes or no? Okay, “no”. _ **nothing** _ Cue the chickens. Q ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/226 "2013-05-15T00:46:03Z")
Aw, guys! Back off of poor **Quasimodem**. I’m sure all he meant was that he doesn’t know what kind of a woman **midnight-dreary** is… and after all, [if she’s a slut, shouldn’t she be shamed?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15978739&postcount=521) 😉 😉 😉 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/227 "2013-05-15T00:52:03Z")
I _meant_ it in the best, and sweetest way possible! I guess this thing is working quicker than I thought. I didn’t want to hurt with what I wrote, just be NON-JUDGMENTAL. Giving the benefit of the doubt, as it were. (Oh-oh! Just made it worse didn’t I) Q ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/228 "2013-05-15T01:08:05Z")
Okay, let’s get back on track, please…end the seeming pile-on in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/229 "2013-05-15T02:59:23Z")
Nah. It’s okay. I can deal with it, **IT**. I know how I meant what I wrote. 🙂 Quasimodem ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/230 "2013-05-15T13:06:49Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Nah. It’s okay. I can deal with it, **IT**. I know how I meant what I wrote. > > 🙂 > > Quasimodem You really need to read her original post again and rethink your comment. You are in the wrong here. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/231 "2013-05-15T13:24:01Z")
No. I really don’t. What you’re asking me for is a yes or no, and I am not willing to give you that because I don’t know the lady, as should you all. She can wear however little she wishes or however much she wishes, but without knowing her personally, how can you judge her? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/232 "2013-05-15T13:28:04Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > No. I really don’t. What you’re asking me for is a yes or no, and I am not willing to give you that because I don’t know the lady, as should you all. She can wear however little she wishes or however much she wishes, but without knowing her personally, how can you judge her? Ok, never mind. You don’t get it for some odd reason. She made it very clear in her post she was not dressed to get attention at all. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/233 "2013-05-15T13:38:59Z")
No one is judging her. We are merely taking her words at face value. Her question, “Was I ‘asking for it’?” is _clearly rhetorical_. In describing her outfit, she makes a point of saying “It is not a tight dress,” and “The only skin I was showing was from my elbows to my hands, and from neck to my head,” and she ends by saying “Some people’s attitudes make SMH.” [SMH = shake my head.] In other words, she is saying, “How could anyone in their right mind think that I was inviting attention or wanted to be whistled at? I shake my head at the very idea.” The point is not what she was wearing, or whether we know her personally. The point is that she is _telling us_ she did _not_ want or expect to be whistled at. So the only possible answer to her _rhetorical_ question is “No, you were not ‘asking for it’.” ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/234 "2013-05-15T13:56:40Z")
I’m pretty sure the only time a woman can be correctly perceived as ‘asking for it’ is when she wears a sign saying ‘I’m asking for it’. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/235 "2013-05-15T13:58:31Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > No one is judging her. We are merely taking her words at face value. Her question, “Was I ‘asking for it’?” is _clearly rhetorical_. In describing her outfit, she makes a point of saying “It is not a tight dress,” and “The only skin I was showing was from my elbows to my hands, and from neck to my head,” and she ends by saying “Some people’s attitudes make SMH.” [SMH = shake my head.] In other words, she is saying, “How could anyone in their right mind think that I was inviting attention or wanted to be whistled at? I shake my head at the very idea.” > > The point is not what she was wearing, or whether we know her personally. The point is that she is _telling us_ she did _not_ want or expect to be whistled at. So the only possible answer to her _rhetorical_ question is “No, you were not ‘asking for it’.” Thank you. I didn’t have the patience to spell this all out so clearly. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/236 "2013-05-15T14:10:07Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I’m pretty sure the only time a woman can be correctly perceived as ‘asking for it’ is when she wears a sign saying ‘I’m asking for it’. And defines clearly what “it” is. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/237 "2013-05-15T16:57:59Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I don’t find anything wrong with a whistle per se. If they start to harass me afterwards, or accompany their whistle with rude language, then it becomes a problem. But in general it’s just a whistle, and I answer with a smile. I find it embarrassing and flattering at the same time. > > ETA: I find that guys who whistle at you while you’re walking down the street generally don’t expect anything other than a smile or a wave. They don’t expect you to stop and have a chat. This. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/238 "2013-05-15T16:59:57Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I’m pretty sure the only time a woman can be correctly perceived as ‘asking for it’ is when she wears a sign saying ‘I’m asking for it’. I’m not even sure that’s true. She needs to be verbally saying she wants “it”-- but she’s probably better suited not to use pronouns. “I want your dick inside of me right this minute” or “I want you to respect my autonomy” would probably be a bit more clear. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/239 "2013-05-15T18:01:29Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > [Tangent: the last month or so on this board has been incredibly depressing and demoralizing. The number of either unapologetically sexist, frighteningly obtuse, or condescendingly dismissive posts really surprised me. This thread is just the latest installment.] It really has. It’s the main reason why I have stayed out of a lot of these threads. It’s genuinely dismaying how many men are still in the Stone Age, and on this board, who \* must \* make titty jokes, who \*still \* think we are asking for it, who think that the way we dress should influence their behavior towards us, who don’t \*credit \* our justifiable fears, who say we’re all making it up or flat out lying, who claim to know better than us because \*one \*woman they met twenty years ago felt one way. I’ve had to stop reading them because I still want to \*like \*the men on the board and not get soured on them. It’s very _depressing_ and…I think demoralizing is the best word, really. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/240 "2013-05-15T18:53:42Z")
You know, sometimes women can be hateful to men too. It’s not just a one-sided thing. Pretty much everybody has to deal with their fair share of threat and discrimination in this world. Women suffer harrassment and receive special treatment at the same time. That’s life. You win some, you lose some. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935.md?page=13)