# Whistling at Women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 9, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935 "2013-05-09T22:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/241 "2013-05-15T18:54:49Z")
What we wear always sends a message…maybe not how you or I would interpret the message but a message is still sent. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/242 "2013-05-15T19:10:06Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Women suffer harrassment and receive special treatment at the same time. That’s life. You win some, you lose some. I should add that the same goes for men. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/243 "2013-05-15T19:18:33Z")
> [@stoplight](#): > > What we wear always sends a message..maybe not how you or I would interpret the message but a message is still sent. Is it your contention that the message is, “It’s ok to sexually harass me” or “It’s ok to rape me!”? If not, then I don’t see how it’s relevant. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/244 "2013-05-15T19:31:07Z")
Some guys want to convince themselves that if a woman makes an effort to look pretty and/or reveals more than ankle, she’s sending an “OK to harass” message. If I’m wearing a summer dress, it’s because it’s f-ing summer. Keep your stupid comments to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/245 "2013-05-15T19:34:39Z")
Preach. And the astonishing thing is that several women in this thread (myself included) have explained that we get whistles and comments even when we are totally slumming it. In fact, like I said, it happens to me _more_ when I’m looking a mess in jeans and a tshirt, frizzy haired and makeupless. So, if some posters here are to be believed: dressing up, doing your makeup, etc = asking for it------- but in practice, a lot of guys seem to think slumming it is asking for it, too. I guess the moral of the story is that we’re just always asking for it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/246 "2013-05-15T19:50:53Z")
> [@\_3Bill](#): > > No one should have to put up with this stuff. And topped with social counseling on how to graciously accept complements? Hasn’t anyone ever seen a Tex Avery cartoon? Hello and welcome to the Dope. I hope you stay. We need more of this and less of that other thing. ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/247 "2013-05-15T20:11:24Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Is it your contention that the message is, “It’s ok to sexually harass me” or “It’s ok to rape me!”? If not, then I don’t see how it’s relevant. yeah..uhhhh,.just a tad over the top…not sure where you read…“its okay to rape me”..I dare say no one has inferred that at any level…remember we talking about whistling…but then rude comments followed the whistling and now rape..really? My contention is that how we dress sends a message…you have no control how its perceived, I would say the vast majority of guys seeing a woman in a sundress just see a woman in a sundress…but in this thread we are not talking about the vast majority are we? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/248 "2013-05-15T20:22:29Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > I second this. Very good point. > > For anyone interested, the documentary [Femme de la Rue](http://www.mrctv.org/videos/sexual-harassment-women-brussels-whole-video) shows the experiences of women in Brussels. A lot of it will be recognised by women across the world. The link starts with an interview with the filmmaker and the documentary starts at 7.50 min. It’s all subtitled. > > ETA: as part of the docu she walks around with a hidden cam and mic. This could give skeptics an idea of what it is like. This was pretty good. Seeing those staring eyes and the comments directed at the woman does seem rather intimidating. Thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/249 "2013-05-15T20:50:07Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Ok, never mind. You don’t get it for some odd reason. She made it very clear in her post she was not dressed to get attention at all. The odd reason is that Quasi has dementia and deteriorated mental function. I am not saying this as an insult, it is a fact he has freely shared. Sometimes he tries to be “humorous” with incredibly inappropriate results. However I genuinely beleive he is not intentionally offensive. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/250 "2013-05-15T21:09:17Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > This was pretty good. Seeing those staring eyes and the comments directed at the woman does seem rather intimidating. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for watching. As documentaries go it isn’t all that good, but I do think it could be an eye opener. Men miss out on that (for reasons discussed in this thread) and you can only really see it when it’s done like that, with a hidden camera. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/251 "2013-05-15T21:11:28Z")
> [@stoplight](#): > > My contention is that how we dress sends a message…you have no control how its perceived, I would say the vast majority of guys seeing a woman in a sundress just see a woman in a sundress…but in this thread we are not talking about the vast majority are we? Let’s talk about messages, shall we? Let’s start with what message you think whistling conveys. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/252 "2013-05-15T22:35:15Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > I second this. Very good point. > > For anyone interested, the documentary [Femme de la Rue](http://www.mrctv.org/videos/sexual-harassment-women-brussels-whole-video) shows the experiences of women in Brussels. A lot of it will be recognised by women across the world. The link starts with an interview with the filmmaker and the documentary starts at 7.50 min. It’s all subtitled. > > ETA: as part of the docu she walks around with a hidden cam and mic. This could give skeptics an idea of what it is like. Holy, fuck! Is that what it’s like??? Is the average American woman also putting up with that level of constant abuse and attention?? I had not IDEA what my weight and age was protecting me from, I guess! I have been in grimy clubs that are basically a mecca for overt sexual comments and gestures and still haven’t endured that level of harassment. That just seemed relentless. ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/253 "2013-05-15T22:42:01Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Let’s talk about messages, shall we? Let’s start with what message you think whistling conveys. uhhhh, I think we are on page 6 of that question ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/254 "2013-05-15T23:10:37Z")
> [@stoplight](#): > > uhhhh, I think we are on page 6 of that question I’m asking you what message _you_ think whistling conveys. It’s not a hard question, so I imagine a concise answer isn’t much to ask for. ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/255 "2013-05-15T23:39:32Z")
[quote=“DiosaBellissima, post:254, topic:657935”] I’m asking you what message _you_ think whistling conveys. It’s not a hard question, so I imagine a concise answer isn’t much to ask for.[/QUOTE from a creepy stranger(male or female) on the corner, could mean many things, none of which will make you feel good… from your husband, you look good, from an intimate group of male friends, recognition of being dolled up. In which context do you mean. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/256 "2013-05-15T23:44:10Z")
> [@stoplight](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > I’m asking you what message _you_ think whistling conveys. It’s not a hard question, so I imagine a concise answer isn’t much to ask for. > > from a creepy stranger(male or female) on the corner, could mean many things, none of which will make you feel good.. from your husband, you look good, from an intimate group of male friends, recognition of being dolled up. In which context do you mean. From a stranger, of course, as that’s what the vast majority of this thread has been about. When you see a man whistle at a woman (completely a stranger to him) on the street, what message do you think he’s conveying with that whistle? Or trying to convey? ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/257 "2013-05-16T00:50:10Z")
current trend, sexual objectification, usually but not always ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/258 "2013-05-16T04:11:50Z")
> [@stoplight](#): > > current trend, sexual objectification, usually but not always And it’s your contention that the woman is welcoming this message, since it is in line with the message she is putting into the world with your hypothetical sundress, yes? ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/259 "2013-05-16T04:18:19Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > And it’s your contention that the woman is welcoming this message, since it is in line with the message she is putting into the world with your hypothetical sundress, yes? My contention is that how we dress sends a message…you have no control how its perceived, I would say the vast majority of guys seeing a woman in a sundress just see a woman in a sundress…but in this thread we are not talking about the vast majority are we? oh.there I go repeating myself… ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/260 "2013-05-16T04:21:52Z")
> [@stoplight](#): > > My contention is that how we dress sends a message…you have no control how its perceived, I would say the vast majority of guys seeing a woman in a sundress just see a woman in a sundress…but in this thread we are not talking about the vast majority are we? > oh.there I go repeating myself… And exactly what would you propose a woman should do if she doesn’t wish to “send a message” that she welcomes “objectification”? (Hint: It’s not wearing different clothes. Women wearing all kinds of clothes get hassled all the damn time.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935.md?page=14)