# Whistling at Women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 9, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935 "2013-05-09T22:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/61 "2013-05-10T12:51:40Z")
Seems kinda like saying you don’t believe tampons go in vaginas because you’ve never seen one come out. Yup, you probably haven’t seen that. You’re not a woman. We’re telling you this happens. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/62 "2013-05-10T12:54:01Z")
One man, alone, whistling at me? And not following it up with any filthy comments? Very, very nice. Several men? Scary as all fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/63 "2013-05-10T12:56:21Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > Yup, you probably haven’t seen that. You’re not a woman. We’re telling you this happens. And if we ignore a whistle or catcall, we’re treated to hostility often enough that our internal reaction to a whistle is more likely to be “Aw, crap” than “He likes my body, gosh he’s swell!”. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/64 "2013-05-10T12:58:44Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > So is it a harmless compliment, or a danger signal? You don’t get to claim that it’s both. I hate this. Of course it can be both, in different circumstances. Why can’t I claim it’s both? Your life must be so pretty, all in black and white. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/65 "2013-05-10T13:06:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I hate this. Of course it can be both, in different circumstances. Why can’t I claim it’s both? Your life must be so pretty, all in black and white. Enginerd’s response was aimed pretty specifically at TriPolar’s seemingly contradictory stance. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/66 "2013-05-10T13:28:36Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > So is it a harmless compliment, or a danger signal? You don’t get to claim that it’s both. Of course he can claim it’s both if it fits his argument. He can also claim that if your experiences as a woman doesn’t match what he’s observed you lose credibility. It’s so nice to have a thread where a number of women give their experiences only to have someone tell them they’re wrong and it doesn’t happen the way they say it does. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/67 "2013-05-10T13:31:45Z")
Thanks, **Meatros** - the “you” in that post should have referred explicitly to **TriPolar**. It was badly worded, wasn’t it? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/68 "2013-05-10T13:34:24Z")
Apparently women can know what a man’s experiences are, but men can’t know what a woman’s are. Great argument. And I made no contradictory statement. I said women should be aware of their surroundings, which now makes be a blame the victim rapist. I love the way these arguments go. Just keep moving the goalposts and putting words in my mouth to make your point. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/69 "2013-05-10T13:37:02Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Of course he can claim it’s both if it fits his argument. He can also claim that if your experiences as a woman doesn’t match what he’s observed you lose credibility. It’s so nice to have a thread where a number of women give their experiences only to have someone tell them they’re wrong and it doesn’t happen the way they say it does. If anyone makes any claims about my experiences as a woman, they’re probably gonna be wrong. I’m a dude. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/70 "2013-05-10T13:37:03Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Sexual attention from perfect strangers can be distrubing or even frightening, it can be so much background noise that it’s not noticed, or it can be taken as a compliment. You DO realize that the sexual attention is present, whether or not there is any outward sign of it? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/71 "2013-05-10T13:37:25Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Apparently women can know what a man’s experiences are, but men can’t know what a woman’s are. Great argument. And I made no contradictory statement. I said women should be aware of their surroundings, which now makes be a blame the victim rapist. I love the way these arguments go. Just keep moving the goalposts and putting words in my mouth to make your point. Absolute bullshit. Here are your words: > [@TriPolar](#): > > And if you’re saying that when a guy just whistles and you ignore him and then he insults, you I find your credibility lacking. We tell you that sometimes if you ignore a whistle you get “Bitch” or “Fuck you” or whatever rude response and you tell us if we tell you that he insults us if ignored we lack credibility. How are we putting words in your mouth to quote you? > [@Enginerd](#): > > If anyone makes any claims about my experiences as a woman, they’re probably gonna be wrong. I’m a dude. My apologies. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/72 "2013-05-10T13:41:05Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > We tell you that sometimes if you ignore a whistle you get “Bitch” or “Fuck you” or whatever rude response and you tell us if we tell you that he insults us if ignored we lack credibility. How are we putting words in your mouth to quote you? What do you call this post? > [@colander](#): > > So your opinion about what happens when there’s both a whistle and an insult involved is that there must have been some kind of misconduct or unintentional passive “bitchiness” on the part of the woman because nobody gentlemanly enough to proffer a kind whistle would possibly be the sort of person who becomes angry when ignored, is that correct? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/73 "2013-05-10T13:42:00Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > You DO realize that the sexual attention is present, whether or not there is any outward sign of it? Probably, but attention does not equal aggression, so how is that relevant? ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/74 "2013-05-10T13:44:58Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > You DO realize that the sexual attention is present, whether or not there is any outward sign of it? Of course she does - it’s right there in her quote (bolding mine): > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Sexual attention from perfect strangers can be distrubing or even frightening, **it can be so much background noise that it’s not noticed** , or it can be taken as a compliment. ETA: No worries, **Sleeps with Butterflies**. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/75 "2013-05-10T13:49:49Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > What do you call this post? Well first of all I hope you realize that I’m not **colander**. But if you really want me to give you the idea behind what someone else is thinking in a post I will give it a shot just for you! What I call that post (since you’re asking me) is a question. More detail? Okay! A question asking you for clarification. It appears that \*\*colander \*\*is trying to ascertain from you what your feelings are about a back-and-forth you two seemed to be having. It appears that she’s asking you if there is a whistle and then an insult, are you saying that the woman must have done something bitchy to cause the whistle to escalate to an insult? She seems to be asking you to confirm that question since she believes you are saying that no guy who whistles as a compliment would become angry when ignored. What tipped me off to this guess is that she is doing a bit of paraphrasing and then asking “is this correct” and including the question mark. So that’s my best guess. Now that I’ve humored you in guessing about what another person said to you, mind explaining why we lack credibility if we tell you something happens simply because you haven’t experienced it like I asked you in my last post? ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/76 "2013-05-10T13:58:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Apparently women can know what a man’s experiences are, but men can’t know what a woman’s are. Great argument. And I made no contradictory statement. I said women should be aware of their surroundings, which now makes be a blame the victim rapist. I love the way these arguments go. Just keep moving the goalposts and putting words in my mouth to make your point. Maybe I’m not understanding you, but it does seem like you’ve taken contradictory positions. You stated that a whistle was supposed to be a compliment (at least in most cases). If that’s the case, then why should women treat it as a _danger signal_? Remember, you were responding to Lynn, who said this: > [@](#): > > “You know, women get told that they should “be aware of their surroundings”, _well, this is one of those danger signals that we’re supposed to be aware of_.” It seems to me that if an action is truly complimentary then it shouldn’t also be a danger signal. Now, it could be **treated as such by the recipient** , but I don’t see how you can plausibly argue that a whistle is both a compliment AND a danger signal if you are the one doing the whistling. If I go up to an unknown woman and say ‘_nice shoes_’ (or something), I do not think that this action is a potential danger signal (regardless of how the woman reacts). If I said something like ‘_you look mighty vulnerable and alone in this dark alley, that’s very brave of you_’ and I know that she will be unnerved by it, then I’m sending off a **danger signal** and **not a compliment** on the woman’s bravery. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/77 "2013-05-10T14:01:29Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > 🙂 Hullo, **TriPolar.** I notice you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/78 "2013-05-10T14:11:44Z")
_If I feel safe enough to do so_ I flip off men who whistle and or comment, without looking at them. I just walk on by with my middle finger doing the job of saying “fuck you.” Unless the whistler knows the woman well already (as in a husband, fuckfriend, etc) Whistlers are assholes. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/79 "2013-05-10T14:13:15Z")
A comment on **Lynn Bodoni** ’s thoughts: I’ll go one step further and say that if a man looks at a woman as a walking sexual experience he will probably have some concept of ownership. So, a woman walking with a man is off-limits. Not because he can’t offend her in front of her “owner” but because he can’t make a sexual overture to her. The fighting which may ensue would be a by-product of that type of thinking and not necessarily the reason why he wouldn’t whistle. So, to **Brother Cadfael** , I think normal biological attraction can be recognized. Just because it’s there doesn’t make it offensive or threatening. That’s all in the way it’s thought about and expressed. I can’t speak for all women but after many years of being the object of leering, insinuations and even unwanted touching, I’ve developed a pretty good sense of what lays beneath a smile. And I think most women do. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935/80 "2013-05-10T14:27:11Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall guys simply whistling and then responding with ‘Bitch’ when they’re ignored. There’s either something more than disregard from the woman, or something more than a whistle from the man. > [@TriPolar](#): > > If a man just whistles (you understand what a whistle is right, a guy just blows air through his lips making a sound), and you ignore him (that means you just continue doing whatever you were doing as if you never heard him), then he isn’t going to then insult you. > [@TriPolar](#): > > And if you’re saying that when a guy just whistles and you ignore him and then he insults, you I find your credibility lacking. You have got to be fucking kidding me. This happens all the time. Men get butthurt when you ignore their advances and they do shout isults at you when you don’t smile at them or acknowledge their harassment. Must be nice in Crazyland where apparently men who are rude enough to harass strange women by whistling at them somehow find polite restraint when they’re rebuffed. They know we heard them. I’ve been called a bitch so many times by men who I’ve ignored I thought it was my first name until last week. The fuck out of here with your bullshit posts. Anyway, not a compliment. It’s not that I’m put off by strange men complimenting me; it’s because it’s fucking rude. Don’t whistle at me like I’m your dog. If you want to compliment me, talk to me like a human being and use words. People compliment me using words and I use some back. Usually “Thank you.” Someone complimented me on the train this morning. No bigs. But don’t whistle, don’t honk your horn, don’t say “AY!!” That kind of shit is rude, I don’t acknowledge it, and yes, TriPolar, sometimes this angers men and causes them to shout insults at me. I’m sorry if telling you what happens threatens my credibility in your eyes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whistling-at-women/657935.md?page=5)