# White People's Funny Names for Children **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2018, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308 "2018-11-30T02:29:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![sps49sd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@sps49sd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sps49sd)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2018, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/201 "2018-12-03T19:06:37Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I read somewhere that the old rocker, Frank Zappa, named his daughter “Moon Unit”. Sounds like that may be just an urban legend, though. Am I the only one who thinks this is sarcasm? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2018, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/202 "2018-12-03T20:47:41Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > … > > and color me surprised that white parents have just now run out of variations on Aiden, Jaden, Jayden, Braden, Braeden, Bryson, Graydon, Grayson, Kaden, Kayden, etc. > … > **[Change in Popularity](https://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/rankchange.html)** > > Change in Name Popularity Just searching on names with “den” in them: Kaiden Kayden Cayden Jayden Aaden Rayden Raiden Brenden Holden (OK, that one is at least different from the others…) Eden (male and female) Khaleesi did rank pretty well (Shame GMM doesn’t get royalties from that!) Then there’s the ever popular trick of unusual spellings (ee vs ie vs iegh) and/or substituting Y for I (or vice versa): Jurnee Hailee/Haylee/Hayley Charlee/Charley/Charlie Harlee/Harley Brynlee Bailee Rylee Zaylee Kynlee Zoie I’m stunned at how many of these variants make it into the top 1000 (Jurnee and Zoie somehow really boggle me). You can actually download lists of names from SSAm at [Popular Baby Names](https://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/limits.html). Some of the rarer ones are very oddbal spellings like Abbiegayle vs Abiageal, Amilea vs Amileah vs Ameilya, and so on (There are also 5 or so girls named Caleesi). Lots of attempts to get painfully “cute” with the spelling - I’m rather surprised and dismayed at the 6 Peightyns out there (though Peytynn isn’t much better). Aliveah and Aliceson are going to to have a great deal of fun making sure their names are spelled right. Some “normally spelled” names surprised me with their rarity: Awesome, Amabel, and Bronwen and Jet. Lots of variants on the Braden / Cayden sort of names there as well. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2018, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/203 "2018-12-03T23:25:12Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Once she’s a legal adult she’ll be able to change her name to whatever she wants, but you’re right, she’ll be dealing with plenty of hassle until then. One of my nieces is going to court to change her official first name to her usual name, which was rejected at birth because it had potentially derogatory connotations. I like it much better this way. Children shouldn’t go through hassles because their parents have fancy ideas. The desire of parents to give some ludicrous name to their children should carry exactly zero weight when assessed against the best interest of the child. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/204 "2018-12-04T00:32:03Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I have a big problem with the logic of not naming your kid something unusual because they will be bullied. And that is simply this: **Bullies don’t need a funny name or anything else to bully you.** Bullies, in my experience, look for people who are good targets first, and then come up with how they are going to make fun of them. > > Do we have any evidence that bullying of kids with unusual names is more common than so-called “normal” names? Or is it just confirmation bias since we remember the people who did have unusual names were bullied? > > My real life name isn’t as out there as “Abcde,” but it is unusual. It’s more commonly a last name than a first name. I’ve run into exactly two people with the same name as me, and both spell it differently (and one is a girl.) But I’ve never been made fun of for it. Sure, I’ve had to tell people how to pronounce it, or how to spell it, but it never was a bullying issue. The closest is that I have a neighbor who I went to school with who likes to refer to me by a more common name that is similar to mine. And while it did get a bit annoying, it was always presented as a joke, with him saying it in a weird way, and it came from him genuinely forgetting my name the second time we met, and he got it wrong, it’s kinda a shared history thing. > > If I had to guess, maybe a name could make you stand out a bit more and make you a slightly higher target, but I don’t think it’s as big a deal as people make it out to be. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all for celebrities. > > And, well, new names come into existence all the time. Someone had to have it first. Neveah is actually becoming more common. There are 300 "Abcde"s in the US. Names that people used to laugh at, with all the unusual spellings, are considered no big deal now. The names ending in -son for girl’s names is a thing. > > I just don’t see any reason to get involved at all unless the name is itself offensive. And then it’s less about bullies, and more about what kind of parents would give their child a name that insults them. That actually crosses the line into abuse. > > But Abcde? I can imagine her getting the nickname “Alphabet,” but that’s kinda like the guy I know named “Andrew Johnson” with the nickname “Prez.” Sure, it coule be used to bully, but it could just be a fun nickname. > > Don’t get me wrong: I have no problem with people sitting around talking about all the unusual names or names that made them laugh, as long as it doesn’t affect the person themselves. You want to laugh at “Abcde” fine. But don’t mock the child, and if you’re going to share a ticket, blur out all identifying details. The only reason to show the ticket it to say “look, this is real.” > > Also, the source I saw [showed the ticket and the Facebook post](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jom6uIqaf8k&t=48s). > > Edit: missed the post where someone already linked an image search. I even Ctrl-F to make sure, but the person called it a “boarding pass” instead of “ticket,” so I didn’t find it. And the reply was a one liner, which my eyes sometimes automatically glaze over unintentionally. I agree completely. I’ve known plenty of people with odd names who were never bullied, simply because they were not the kind of kid who could ever be bullied. Right now I happen to know a little girl with a very strange name, the kind of name that might make people here say “What were her parents thinking?” But she is a champion figure skater for her age, and she also has a black belt in a martial art. Nobody would dare bully her. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/205 "2018-12-04T00:47:58Z")
You know the research done on employers’ tendencies and reactions on seeing “stereotypically black” names on resumes? I’d be kind of interested in seeing similar research done with “stereotypically privileged white” names and comparing the results… ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/206 "2018-12-04T01:14:49Z")
> [@Raygun99](#): > > Speaking from both my and my wife’s personal experience, nothing makes you want to give your kids a “normal” name faster than having an unusual or oddly spelled name yourself. I am yet to meet the kid that _wants_ a unique or difficult to spell name, and the lifetime of reflexive spelling out of your name that ensues for the rest of your life. I have literally watched people mistype my name as I’m spelling it out to them. All you’re doing by torturing phonetics is to make your kids sigh inwardly every time they have to give their name to someone. I have a very common, classic first name that is in the Bible and has two standard spellings, and probably some non-standard ones as well, and I’ve experienced the same thing. :smack: When I was in college, I wrote a letter to “People” magazine which they printed - and guess what? THEY SPELLED MY NAME WRONG, both first and last! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/207 "2018-12-04T01:23:51Z")
I love the name Bronwen. I believe it’s either Scottish or Irish. At least it’s pronounced the way it’s spelled, unlike some other names like Siobhan (sha-vaun), Niamh (nee-ev) or Aoife (ee-fah). ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/208 "2018-12-04T01:46:43Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I love the name Bronwen. I believe it’s either Scottish or Irish. Welsh feminine name. > [@](#): > > At least it’s pronounced the way it’s spelled, unlike some other names like Siobhan (sha-vaun), Niamh (nee-ev) or Aoife (ee-fah). I find the suggestion that Irish orthography is less phonetic than English faintly amusing, along with the complaints above about variant spelling of names as if there were some sort of definite standard. IMHO, though, if you are going to _make up_ a name from scratch successfully, you had better have a firm grasp on your bardic poetic powers. Unfortunately, the Dunning-Kruger effect applies here. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/209 "2018-12-04T02:30:27Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > The family’s original name was Bottom. They should have named one of the girls “Gladys Happy”. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/210 "2018-12-04T09:21:35Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > I am not sure you are serious, but just in case: Juan is Spanish and means John. Juana is the female version of that same name. Juanita is the female diminutive, like Johnny, but in female. I know Juan as a Spanish name, but I’d never heard it pronounced like ‘joo-un’ before. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/211 "2018-12-04T10:09:30Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > I know Juan as a Spanish name, but I’d never heard it pronounced like ‘joo-un’ before. I don’t know how you would pronounce “joo-un”, the international phonetic transcription of the standard Spanish pronunciation is \ˈxwan. Ivan is the same as Juan as well, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/212 "2018-12-04T10:26:24Z")
> [@Weedy](#): > > I know Juan as a Spanish name, but I’d never heard it pronounced like ‘joo-un’ before. It’s an old anglicized pronunciation. It can be found in Lord Byron’s poem Don Juan, where he rhymes it with ‘true one’, and where it affects the meter to pronounce it as a single syllable. (Not that this tells us how the J is pronounced, but it does tell us it’s two syllables, and thus neither the Spanish, nor more modern anglicized versions.) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/213 "2018-12-04T17:21:41Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I love the name Bronwen. I believe it’s either Scottish or Irish. > > At least it’s pronounced the way it’s spelled, unlike some other names like Siobhan (sha-vaun), Niamh (nee-ev) or Aoife (ee-fah). Ever seen this clip? I love it: [Saoirse Ronan Tries To Teach Stephen Colbert An Irish Accent](https://youtu.be/Hwstj9FJHGg). They go through several Irish names at the end. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/214 "2018-12-04T18:29:22Z")
> [@DPRK](#): > > … > I find the suggestion that Irish orthography is less phonetic than English faintly amusing, along with the complaints above about variant spelling of names as if there were some sort of definite standard… The variants on spelling are all too often a parent’s desire to make their kid’s name “unique”, for reasons that escape me - and that desire is so strong that they go further and further outside common spellings and cross over into the absurd. Think of 1950s cars with fins on them and how THAT evolved. The problem I have with, say, Irish orthography is that you’re basically spelling a word from one language, and attempting to sound it out using English pronunciation rules. In English, a sound is spelled using certain letter; in another language, those same letters sound different (e.g. Paris vs Paree). Note: the following is written from an American perspective and might not apply to someone in London or Sydney. English-speakers have learned rules for what a combination of letters should, generally, sound like. “Siobhan”… well, a lot of words I’ve learned have “sio” being pronounced “shuh” like “dissension” and “ascension”. “bh” being pronounced as “v” isn’t anything an American-educated person would expect. “Aoife”… I’d expect to be something like “Ay-oh-eef” or maybe “Ow-eef”. The “Ao” at the beginning just seems to be a waste of printer’s ink. I listened to the Outlander books via Audible and one character was named “Lira”; it was years before I saw it in print as “Laoghire”. I’d have pronounced it “Low-geer” had I not heard it first. It’s hard for me to see how “aogh” affects the pronunciation at all. But someone educated in Scottish or Irish orthogrophy would likely look at those and scratch their heads and say “of course it’s pronounced Lira, what’s your effing problem?”. And I could sort of see mumbling / sliding those “extraneous” letters and coming up with Lira or Eefah. Now, writing Polish using the English alphabet is another thing entirely. I swear they throw all those extra consonants in there as a joke, just to laugh at us Westerners. I can’t imagine how anyone knowing “English” spelling could possibly have heard the sound “Shuh” and decided to spell it “Krzy” (as in former Duke coach Krzyszewski, pronounced “ShuhSHEFsky”). In any case, I just roll with it, do my best, and reserve the right to laugh (inwardly only!!!) at poor Ab-siddy and Peightynn. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/215 "2018-12-04T18:37:19Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > … > > In any case, I just roll with it, do my best, and reserve the right to laugh (inwardly only!!!) at poor Ab-siddy and Peightynn. To clarify: I’m inwardly laughing at the _parents_ in this case. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/216 "2018-12-04T19:00:07Z")
Haven’t read the whole thread, but this is an issue that dates back to at least the 1960s. For example, 9 months after an incident that happened once, in 1967, for 20 minutes, Duran Duran lead singer Frank Zappa named his daughter “1920s-style Death-Ray” (the hyphens are silent). There is an urban legend that she goes by “Ray” for short - actually she legally changed it to “Hi, Opal!” shortly after age 21, after her first two submissions (“I burning your dog” and “Pan-fried semen”) were rejected. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/217 "2018-12-04T19:17:22Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Haven’t read the whole thread, but this is an issue that dates back to at least the 1960s. For example, 9 months after an incident that happened once, in 1967, for 20 minutes, Duran Duran lead singer Frank Zappa named his daughter “1920s-style Death-Ray” (the hyphens are silent). There is an urban legend that she goes by “Ray” for short - actually she legally changed it to “Hi, Opal!” shortly after age 21, after her first two submissions (“I burning your dog” and “Pan-fried semen”) were rejected. A solid showing - 8.4 (The judges deducted marks due to the omission of “Masturbating like a motherfuck” and “penis ensues”) ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/218 "2018-12-04T19:49:47Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Duran Duran lead singer Frank Zappa Frank Zappa was the lead singer for Duran Duran? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/219 "2018-12-04T19:51:59Z")
Don’t fight the hypothetical. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/220 "2018-12-04T20:18:38Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Don’t fight the hypothetical. OK, I’m still a newbie here. Someday I’ll learn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=12)