# White People's Funny Names for Children **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2018, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308 "2018-11-30T02:29:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Batano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@Batano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batano)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/21 "2018-11-30T04:20:23Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Does the picture of the boarding pass \*actually \*exist? Because I’ve only ever heard this name in the context of urban legends. [https://www.google.kz/search?q=abcde+name+boarding+pass+photo&client=ms-android-gionee&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjKwfjCofveAhUhqYsKHZP3AYYQ\_AUoAXoECAwQAQ&biw=360&bih=559#imgrc=4yE7lNh7ZG9loM](https://www.google.kz/search?q=abcde+name+boarding+pass+photo&client=ms-android-gionee&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjKwfjCofveAhUhqYsKHZP3AYYQ_AUoAXoECAwQAQ&biw=360&bih=559#imgrc=4yE7lNh7ZG9loM) ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/22 "2018-11-30T04:25:31Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Reminds me of that joke (or was it a real event?) about the elementary school teacher querying her student, name Internet, how her parents chose that name. The student said she was named after the princess, you know, Princess “Marie Internet”. > > Oh, and “Abcde” is, according to the story I read this morning, supposed to be pronounced as “Ab-sidy”. Well, parents; perhaps you should’ve spelled it “Absidy” instead. > > None of that, though, justifies any of the crud the airline personnel pulled. When I taught first grade we would occasionally talk about how the kids got their names. One year I had a student named Allison, who said she had been named after the book character “Allison Wonderland.” Her father denied it, but I always liked the idea. There was also Noah, who said he got his name because his parents’ basement flooded the day he arrived. I liked that one too. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/23 "2018-11-30T04:29:08Z")
Unusual names are fine, fuck it, life is short and it doesn’t matter. At this point in our culture naming a baby Todd is weird. By kindergarten Abcde will be referred to by something everyone can live with. It’s not like the kids name is the Prince symbol. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/24 "2018-11-30T04:29:38Z")
Honest to Dog, 18 years ago, I worried that “Alana” was a weird name. (Apparently, though, my daughter is the only member of her cohort who doesn’t have a name that rhymes with “ayley,” a “granny name,” or a last-name-as-given-name: Mckenzie, Taylor, Bailey, Addie, Haylie, Keighley, etc.) Poor little Abcess… ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/25 "2018-11-30T04:52:25Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > and color me surprised that white parents have just now run out of variations on Aiden, Jaden, Jayden, Braden, Braeden, Bryson, Graydon, Grayson, Kaden, Kayden, etc. Among the kindergarten set, Jackson is the new Michael. It’s become quite popular as a boy’s first name. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/26 "2018-11-30T04:59:24Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Among the kindergarten set, Jackson is the new Michael. It’s become quite popular as a boy’s first name. Psh. You’re nobody unless you spell it Jaxon. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/27 "2018-11-30T05:14:16Z")
\*Jakxsson ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/28 "2018-11-30T05:18:44Z")
Well as a mom white non Anglo, all your names are weird to me. Why can’t you guys name your kids _Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha_ like normal people? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/29 "2018-11-30T05:19:34Z")
> [@digs](#): > > ETA: Does anyone remember Big Bird singing “Ab-cadef-gi Juklemenop-quir Stuv-wixyzzz”? And not sure what it means… > But it’s available as a baby name! I think that was in the first page of a horrible book I read some time ago. Damn thing had no plot whatsoever. The title, as near as I can remember, was something-something-dictionary. Almost put me off literature, it did. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/30 "2018-11-30T13:54:14Z")
Celtling had a classmate named “Six-ten.” His last name was a number too, so the parents had at least committed far enough to do it to themselves as well. The other children just accepted it; it was the parents who were @$$holes about it. At the point of photographing the child’s ticket and :eek::mad:putting it out on social media:mad::eek:, this employee crossed a very sick and dangerous line. Do we really need to state this in the employee manual? **"We here at Generic Airlines do not dox children for the crime of having idiot parents."** ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/31 "2018-11-30T14:12:28Z")
I’d be willing to bet that the mom is lying about the airline employee posting the boarding pass picture on social media. Somebody who names her daughter Abcde isn’t exactly the most reliable source of information. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/32 "2018-11-30T14:15:12Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Well as a mom white non Anglo, all your names are weird to me. > Why can’t you guys name your kids _Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha_ like normal people? Here’s the thing. I’m not going to make fun of children (US or foreign born) or foreign born parents who gave their child an appropriate name from where they were from. Your example will be a mouthful for most in the US, and I’m sure the kid is going to come up with some sort of nickname, which again might be a common shortened form. Overall in society, there might be some questioning of the second or third generation parent who decides to name their child after one of their parents or grandparents, but that’s only because historically “ethnic” names in the US don’t work that way. (See the previous link to the Onion). And, for example, plenty of Americans give their kids Anglicized Hebrew names without thinking about it or what it actually means (and they’re often theophoric) without any questions. But I will always reserve the right to make fun of the parents who give their child a bad name, whether it’s a “creative” spelling or other example. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/33 "2018-11-30T14:58:47Z")
I was very, very confused when [Reality Winner](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_Winner) made the evening news last year. It doesn’t sound like a name, so much as a really strange pronoun (and one that she did not live up to). ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/34 "2018-11-30T15:10:46Z")
The Washington Post article on the incident includes some second hand stats: > [@](#): > > Although Abcde is an unusual name, it’s not unheard of. In 2014, Vocativ reported that over the past three decades, 328 baby girls have been given that name, 32 of whom were born in 2009. > **[A little girl named Abcde was mocked by a Southwest gate agent. The airline...](https://www.washingtonpost.com/transportation/2018/11/29/little-girl-named-abcde-was-mocked-by-southwest-gate-agent-airline-has-apologized/?utm_term=.c75b3d230347)** > > Traci Redford said a Southwest Airlines gate agent made fun of her 5-year-old daughter, Abcde, at John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, Calif. Should airline agents laugh at names, no matter how weird? No. Is making up new weird names and spellings bad … Well I do genealogy in Norwegian valleys where 90% of the people have one of a couple of dozen names and where they used true patronymics rather than inheritable surnames. It’s not the worst cultural phenomenon unless one thinks people have the right to ridicule names they find odd. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/35 "2018-11-30T15:30:14Z")
No mention of former Olympic skier Picabo (pronounced “peek-a-boo”) Street? Her parents let her choose her own name when she was old enough. > **[Picabo Street](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street)** > > Picabo Street (/ˈpiːkəbuː/; born 3 April 1971) is an American former World Cup alpine ski racer and Olympic gold medalist. She won the super G at the 1998 Winter Olympics and the downhill at the 1996 World Championships, along with three other Olympic and World Championship medals. Street also won World Cup downhill season titles in 1995 and 1996, the first American woman to do so, along with nine World Cup downhill race wins. Street was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004. > Str... ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/36 "2018-11-30T15:37:01Z")
Someone pointed out that she’s going to have issues applying for a job. What HR is going to look at a resume with the name Abcde? ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/37 "2018-11-30T15:39:48Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Among the kindergarten set, Jackson is the new Michael. It’s become quite popular as a boy’s first name. In a really peculiar turn of events, my son has one of the more uncommon names in his particular age cohort. His name is Matthew. Oh, and Kayden/Caden/Kaeden/Braydon/Braden/etc… have moved from being middle/upper class names to being hicky/white trash names these days. Not that Freakonomics is that accurate on much, but the name progression bit seems to be dead-on. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/38 "2018-11-30T15:40:39Z")
When I worked in daycare, back in the early 00’s, there were multiple children named after whatever led to their mom getting knocked up. We had Sativa, Alisay and Hennessy. At least those are the ones I can remember. But really people. Don’t curse your kid’s future just so you can feel cool by naming them something weird. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/39 "2018-11-30T15:46:40Z")
My first name is Mark. In grade school there were two other kids named Mark in my class. A new kid joined the class whose name was Marc. All us Marks thought that was pretty messed up. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/40 "2018-11-30T16:05:25Z")
So much wrong packed into such a short story. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=3)