# White People's Funny Names for Children **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2018, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308 "2018-11-30T02:29:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/61 "2018-11-30T17:23:23Z")
the “backwards” names really get me. Beck already mentioned “Nevaeh;” I remember from some years ago a story about a girl who had died whose name was “Rehtaeh” (“Heather” spelled backwards.) who thinks of this stuff and believes it’s a good idea? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/62 "2018-11-30T17:31:43Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Abcde” isn’t a traditional name. Sure, I didn’t claim it was. But even if you consider only non-traditional “made-up” names, where are you going to draw the line between ones considered “acceptable” and ones considered “an act of cruelty by the parents”? There is no way to effectively separate mocking a child’s “weird” name from castigating the child’s parents for having given the child a “weird” name. What are you going to say to the kid, _“Oh no dear, I’m not making fun of your name, I’m just denouncing your parents for having cruelly deprived you of your dignity by giving you that dumbass name”_? Just cut it all out. > [@silenus](#): > > Face it, “Dweezil” will never make it as a middle manager in Omaha. Dweezil Zappa appears to be doing just fine in the entertainment industry, tyvm. And btw, it appears that [his name was officially changed to “Dweezil” at his own insistence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dweezil_Zappa): > [@](#): > > Dweezil’s registered birth name was Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa. The hospital at which he was born refused to register him under the name Dweezil, so Frank listed the names of several musician friends. […] At the age of five years, Dweezil learned that his legal name was different, and he insisted on having his nickname become his legal name. Gail and Frank hired an attorney and soon the name Dweezil was official. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/63 "2018-11-30T17:41:54Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I read somewhere that the old rocker, Frank Zappa, named his daughter “Moon Unit”. Sounds like that may be just an urban legend, though. > [@kayT](#): > > Nope, not an urban legend. Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet, and Diva are Zappa’s kids. I personally would love to be named Moon Unit, but that’s just me. Better that than “creative spelling” like Jaxon or Micheal or something. Frank and Moon Unit even had a hit record together, called [Valley Girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-LArv-sEQU&app=desktop). ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/64 "2018-11-30T17:48:22Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > 😕 Non-Latina women have been using the given name “Selena” for decades if not centuries. See, e.g.: [actress Selena Royle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selena_Royle) (1904-1983), [educator Selena Sloan Butler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selena_Sloan_Butler) (1872-1964), [pagan religions activist Selena Fox](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selena_Fox) (b. 1949), and many more. > > See, this is another reason it’s dumb to make fun of given names for being “weird”; it so often turns out that the apparent “weirdness” is merely due to one’s own lack of information about the name and its history. It’s also an obviously Greek name (etymologically), unless I’m missing something. Certainly the eponymous goddess is the first thing that pops into my mind in association with that name. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/65 "2018-11-30T17:50:02Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > No mention of former Olympic skier Picabo (pronounced “peek-a-boo”) Street? Her parents let her choose her own name when she was old enough. > > [Picabo Street - Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picabo_Street) I remember the old joke about the new hospital section named for Ms. Street. It was the Picabo ICU. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/66 "2018-11-30T17:54:40Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > me too. > > and color me surprised that white parents have just now run out of variations on Aiden, Jaden, Jayden, Braden, Braeden, Bryson, Graydon, Grayson, Kaden, Kayden, etc. > > there was a case this past year where some shithead teenagers killed a guy by throwing chunks of concrete off of a freeway overpass. One of the wastes of flesh was named “Mikaydn.” Which made me think his parents should probably have been sterilized before he was conceived. You forgot Raiden. One of my fringe relatives named her twin boys Raiden and Braiden. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/67 "2018-11-30T17:55:00Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Eh, where are we supposed to draw the line between “weird” and merely “unusual” or “traditional”? I went to school with a girl from a devout Jewish family who was named Tzipporah, a perfectly respectable and honorable Biblical name. Did she get called “Zippy” and so on at school? Yes, she did. > > Were the parents irresponsibly “stripping her of her dignity” by giving her that name? What other traditional names of various religions and cultures are you going to decree that parents “shouldn’t” give their children because they’re “undignified”? > > Let’s focus on shutting down the assholes and bullies who think that mocking a kid’s name is an acceptable form of humor, instead of policing parents’ naming choices. So I wouldn’t bully someone over their name (especially a kid) and when someone tells me they are going to name their kid something “weird” I just say “oh, that’s nice” (I may go home and tell my husband with some more judging), but at the same time, there is sort of a line… We call it Senator or Stripper. Your kid is going to have to go through life with their name, and people are going to make judgements based off that name. So no, people shouldn’t judge based on name…but parents need to recognize that people WILL judge based on name - and name their children something that will work in the context in which they will live. Which is to say that I think Jayden is a horrible name, but little Jayden will likely grow up where it is a fairly normal name and won’t stick out. Abcde is likely going to struggle with her name her whole life. The Zappa children are the Zappa children - the live in the context that their father is Frank Zappa and that comes with some privilege in having a weird name that someone born to Jack and Brenda Peterson of Omaha doesn’t have. Name you kids to not disadvantage them in the life you expect them to lead ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/68 "2018-11-30T17:55:31Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Frank and Moon Unit even had a hit record together, called [Valley Girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-LArv-sEQU&app=desktop). And in an example of weird-ass synchronicity, I was discussing this very song yesterday with my coworkers. (The discussion had started because I’d referred to something being “gnarly”, and I did not mean it as a compliment. And then we got into an argument about whether it meant something stunk or was cool.) ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/69 "2018-11-30T18:14:12Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Dweezil Zappa appears to be doing just fine in the entertainment industry, tyvm. And btw, it appears that [his name was officially changed to “Dweezil” at his own insistence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dweezil_Zappa): yes, that’s all well and good if you’ve got the talent to make it in the entertainment sector, but if you don’t, then you’re probably gonna be “Dweezil the midnight shift 7-11 clerk.” ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/70 "2018-11-30T18:21:14Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > the “backwards” names really get me. Beck already mentioned “Nevaeh;” I remember from some years ago a story about a girl who had died whose name was “Rehtaeh” (“Heather” spelled backwards.) She did more than ‘die’ - [she committed suicide after being mocked/bullied on social media](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Rehtaeh_Parsons). One could speculate that her name had already exacted some emotional toll. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/71 "2018-11-30T18:28:13Z")
Perhaps the trauma of having been raped contributed to her suicide attempt? (It wasn’t solely because people were making fun of her for an unusual name.) ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/72 "2018-11-30T19:07:02Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > yes, that’s all well and good if you’ve got the talent to make it in the entertainment sector, but if you don’t, then you’re probably gonna be “Dweezil the midnight shift 7-11 clerk.” I suspect Frank Zappa’s kids are not likely to end up as 7-11 clerks, regardless of talent level. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/73 "2018-11-30T19:21:11Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I remember the old joke about the new hospital section named for Ms. Street. It was the Picabo ICU. The variation I heard was that Picabo (pronounced “peek-a-boo” for those unfamiliar with her) became a nurse working in the intensive care unit, so when somebody called the ICU, she’d answer “Picabo, ICU.” Apparently, there was even [an urban legend](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/picabo-icu/) that she couldn’t answer the phone in the ICU because of the confusion it caused. (Your version is mentioned there, too.) ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/74 "2018-11-30T19:26:35Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > You forgot Raiden. One of my fringe relatives named her twin boys Raiden and Braiden. Raiden is just abysmally stupid. It’s a character name from the “Mortal Kombat” video game series from 20-something years ago. Still not as dumb though, as those fools who name their daughters “Khaleesi” Naming them Daenerys would be dumb, but Khaleesi is a title, and not even a particularly powerful one at that, as the Khal was the powerful one among the Dothraki. But yeah, put me in the camp that says that naming your child a reasonably not weird name is one of your parental duties. That’s not to say that it can’t be unique or spelled creatively, although I’m not a big fan. But it does extend to not naming your kid Asswipe (“Oz-weep-ae”- from a SNL skit) Purexo (a name my college roommate swears a high school classmate had) or Abcde. Those names are going to do little other than make your kid the butt of jokes and confuse people. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/75 "2018-11-30T19:35:53Z")
Or at the very least, confine your “creativity” to the kid’s middle name, where they can ignore it or not at their pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/76 "2018-11-30T19:45:34Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Eh, where are we supposed to draw the line between “weird” and merely “unusual” or “traditional”? The category isn’t “weird”. It’s “likely to make your child a target for bullies and assholes”. And any line would necessarily be fuzzy. That said, I doubt anyone would draw that line such that “Abcde” doesn’t fall under “likely to make your child a target for bullies and assholes”. > [@](#): > > What other traditional names of various religions and cultures are you going to decree that parents “shouldn’t” give their children because they’re “undignified”? I really don’t think your use of the word “other” here is fair. I haven’t said word one about traditional names of various religions and cultures. I have been sharply critical of self-indulgent narcissism of burdening your child with “Abcde”, which refers to no culture or religion, and has no meaning. Your right, of course, that children from one culture growing up in another face pressure, and that giving them a traditional but unusual-to-their-peers name has the potential downside of attracting negative attention. It will almost certainly attract a nickname, and quite possibly worse. Against that, however, the parents can set the fact that their child’s name does have a cultural heritage behind it. It has meaning, and forms a vital link to the child’s roots. Tzipporah had the opportunity to throw nicknames and teasing back in people’s faces by pointing out that yes, it was unusual, but it was traditional and it meant a lot to her, and her family, that they kept in touch with their culture. What can Abcde do? “Actually, it means…” “My parents thought it was important to give me a name that…” How will she ever finish those sentences? She will have to take this name to school. She will have to apply for jobs with it. She will spend her life explaining it away, even to non-assholes. She will develop stock lines, and learn to recognise all the jokes, and just grit her teeth at every single introduction she ever makes. And for what? Abcde isn’t a name you give your child because of what it will mean to and for the child. Abcde is a name you give your child because you like attention. And your child is not your prop. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/77 "2018-11-30T19:48:31Z")
Somewhere up in my mom’s side of the family tree, supposedly there were two brothers who always went by “A.B.” and “C.D”. My mom claims to have never know their real names (if any) or if those were initials or what. At any rate, damn lazy parenting on someone’s behalf. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/78 "2018-11-30T19:51:51Z")
> [@Stanislaus](#): > > What can Abcde do? “Actually, it means…” “My parents thought it was important to give me a name that…” How will she ever finish those sentences? She will have to take this name to school. She will have to apply for jobs with it. She will spend her life explaining it away, even to non-assholes. She will develop stock lines, and learn to recognise all the jokes, and just grit her teeth at every single introduction she ever makes. And for what? I wouldn’t be surprised if she quickly went to, “Hi! My name is Catherine.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/79 "2018-11-30T19:55:41Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I read somewhere that the old rocker, Frank Zappa, named his daughter “Moon Unit”. Sounds like that may be just an urban legend, though. No, it’s true. And her siblings are Dweezil, Ahmet, and Diva. River Phoenix’s family were from a weird cult. They named their kids River, Leaf (he changed it to Joaquin), Rain, Liberty, and Summer. The family’s original name was Bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/80 "2018-11-30T19:56:21Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Well as a mom white non Anglo, all your names are weird to me. > Why can’t you guys name your kids _Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha_ like normal people? It might be because you live in what I presume is your ancestral home country. I can answer both flippantly and practically with it has too many obsolete geographic and familial references for a typical Westerner. My great-grandparents and half my grandparents were born in a different country and/or dead before I was born, and the countries and territories their great-grandparents lived in stopped existing. Even though my name is a typical Anglo-Saxon one, it would be no more relevant to me to be given an ancestral middle name than to be given a name that references families and clans my great-grandparents belonged to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=5)