# White People's Funny Names for Children **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 30, 2018, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308 "2018-11-30T02:29:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/81 "2018-11-30T19:59:10Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Were the parents irresponsibly “stripping her of her dignity” by giving her that name? What other traditional names of various religions and cultures are you going to decree that parents “shouldn’t” give their children because they’re “undignified”? I think there’s a “I know it when I see it” Supreme Court-type rule that applies here - sure, there isn’t an extremely clear boundary, but there’s a major difference between Muslim parents naming their kid “Mohammed” in a town where people don’t look kindly on Muslims, and a parent naming their kid “Hairy Elephant Trunk” or something. There just is. > [@Kimstu](#): > > Let’s focus on shutting down the assholes and bullies who think that mocking a kid’s name is an acceptable form of humor, instead of policing parents’ naming choices. Except that assholes and bullies are present in such overwhelming number that it would be a 24/7/265, lifelong battle for the kid. This is like poking a hornet’s nest and then scolding the hornets for rushing out to sting you. Maybe they \*shouldn’t \*sting you, but you would have been better off not poking the nest. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/82 "2018-11-30T20:06:01Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Sorry, but it’s A-A-ron. Get out of my God damn classroom before I break my foot up in your ass. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/83 "2018-11-30T20:15:46Z")
Well, I think Abcde is a cool name. Certainly a lot more interesting than Jennifer. I guess I’m weird. Of course, I wouldn’t name my kid Abcde but I can appreciate the uniqueness of it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/84 "2018-11-30T20:22:17Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > (Apparently, though, my daughter is the only member of her cohort who doesn’t have a name that rhymes with “ayley,” a “granny name,” or a last-name-as-given-name: Mckenzie…) That’s been a traditional first name in my family since at least the 19th century. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/85 "2018-11-30T20:28:09Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > My last name is a common item when not capitalized. Hi, Becky Paperclip! ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/86 "2018-11-30T20:35:40Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > That’s been a traditional first name in my family since at least the 19th century. Coincidentally, I mentioned that very name in the “mispronounced words you notice” thread. Many people are thrown by the spelling. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/87 "2018-11-30T20:44:47Z")
> [@Stanislaus](#): > > What can Abcde do? “Actually, it means…” “My parents thought it was important to give me a name that…” How will she ever finish those sentences? She will have to take this name to school. She will have to apply for jobs with it. She will spend her life explaining it away, even to non-assholes. Once she’s a legal adult she’ll be able to change her name to whatever she wants, but you’re right, she’ll be dealing with plenty of hassle until then. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/88 "2018-11-30T20:52:32Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I don’t like Nevaeh, you know heaven spelled backwards. Just dumb, and overdone. There’s a local store wherein one of the managers brings their dog to work each day. It’s name Nevaeh. Cruel thing to do to a Boston Terrier, much less a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/89 "2018-11-30T20:58:51Z")
Back in 1888, on the day of the flood in Johnstown,Pennsylvania, there were three babies born in the town. Two were named Moses, one was named Flood. Moses might not be so bad, but naming a kid Flood proves the weird name phenomena is not new. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/90 "2018-11-30T21:15:18Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > I’d be willing to bet that the mom is lying about the airline employee posting the boarding pass picture on social media. Somebody who names her daughter Abcde isn’t exactly the most reliable source of information. And you base that opinion on…? :dubious: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/91 "2018-11-30T21:22:33Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I read somewhere that the old rocker, Frank Zappa, named his daughter “Moon Unit”. Sounds like that may be just an urban legend, though. [No; that’s her name](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_Zappa). Her brothers are Dweezil and Ahmet and her younger sister is Diva. And before you comment, you should know that Dweezil was named Ian Donald Calvin Euclid when he was born, but he was called Dweezil by his Dad (the hospital had refused to put Dweezil on the birth certificate). When Dweezil was 5 years old he found out that his name was not, in fact, Dweezil, and insisted that it be legally changed, which Frank and Gail proudly helped him do. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/92 "2018-11-30T21:32:25Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > This is like poking a hornet’s nest and then scolding the hornets for rushing out to sting you. Maybe they \*shouldn’t \*sting you, but you would have been better off not poking the nest. There’s an eternal war between two different pieces of good advice: “Don’t victim-blame.” “Don’t make yourself (or, in this case, someone else) a target.” Neither of those pieces of advice are wrong in general, unless they’re unsolicited, but both of them can be wrong in specific circumstances. It’s impossible to resolve this completely. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/93 "2018-11-30T21:45:20Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Back in 1888, on the day of the flood in Johnstown,Pennsylvania, there were three babies born in the town. Two were named Moses, one was named Flood. Moses might not be so bad, but naming a kid Flood proves the weird name phenomena is not new. I have a great-somethingth uncle named [“Quarantine”, named as such because he was born during a yellow fever epidemic in 1867](http://civilwarmed.blogspot.com/2012/11/schmidts-garden-and-boy-named-quarantine.html). Definitely not a new thing at all. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/94 "2018-11-30T21:46:31Z")
I had a classmate in elementary school named Lieutenant George, first and last. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/95 "2018-11-30T21:54:10Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Raiden is just abysmally stupid. It’s a character name from the “Mortal Kombat” video game series from 20-something years ago. Well, sort of. It’s also an alternative spelling for [Raijin (雷神), a god of lightning, thunder and storms in the Shinto religion and in Japanese mythology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raijin). I know a boy named Odin and knew another named Orion, so I wouldn’t rule out the mythology angle. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/96 "2018-11-30T21:58:44Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I read somewhere that the old rocker, Frank Zappa, named his daughter “Moon Unit”. Sounds like that may be just an urban legend, though. True, though > **[Moon Zappa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_Zappa)** > > Moon Unit Zappa (born September 28, 1967) is an American actress, singer, and author. She is the daughter of musician Frank Zappa. > Moon Zappa was born in New York City, the eldest child of Gail (née Sloatman) and musician Frank Zappa. She has three younger siblings: Dweezil, Ahmet, and Diva. Zappa's father was of Sicilian, Greek-Arab, and French ancestry, and her mother was of German and Portuguese descent. Zappa attended Oakwood School in North Hollywood, California. > Zappa first came to public... And she had a brother named Dweezil, although it turns out that’s really a nickname, not his legal name, which is Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa. I like the “Euclid” part. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/97 "2018-11-30T22:00:57Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Well, sort of. It’s also an alternative spelling for [Raijin (雷神), a god of lightning, thunder and storms in the Shinto religion and in Japanese mythology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raijin). I know a boy named Odin and knew another named Orion, so I wouldn’t rule out the mythology angle. And has been around for a lot longer than Mortal Kombat: [Raiden - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raiden) . ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/98 "2018-11-30T22:28:38Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > Well, I think Abcde is a cool name. Certainly a lot more interesting than Jennifer. “Jennifer” [URL=][Meaning, origin and history of the name Jennifer - Behind the Name](https://www.behindthename.com/name/jennifer) is actually quite an interesting name. It’s Cornish, and so Celtic, from a language that died out and has been revived; it means “white phantom” (probably; white something, anyway, but possibly taking the colour word in the sense of “holy” or “blessed.”). It is the name of King Arthur’s wife, which survived in oral tradition long after the stories themselves got confined to literature (in Cornwall, anyway). Speaking of Celtic, the ultimate source for the -en names currently popular among tykes is Irish, which forms the diminutive in -ín and -án. That brought you names like Aiden, Caitlin (Kaitlyn), Colleen, Doreen, Eileen, Kevin, etc., originally found among lower-class types (Irish families who switched to English in the 19th century, mostly, esp. immigrants; “Colleen” just means “girl”). Over time, those names got normalized, became granny names, got revived, expanded by people perusing baby-name books, and then the suffix got re-analyzed (-den). Abcde is… well, not as clever as I think the people who bestow it think it is. But in a culture that allows people to make up names, you’re going to get a lot of stupid names. You have a lot of stupid people. I try not to judge them for it out loud. I don’t think parents can avoid giving their child a name that will get mispronounced and made fun of. My name is Mark, and I got teased for it a lot. Really: puns with the verb “mark” and things like that. But I don’t think it was the name: I think it was the kid behind the name. I don’t recall anyone every making fun of (for example) Quincey’s name, which at the time was pretty unusual, or Percy’s. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/99 "2018-11-30T22:38:15Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > And she had a brother named Dweezil, although it turns out that’s really a nickname, not his legal name, which is Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa. I like the “Euclid” part. This is incorrect: [Post #91](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21351500&postcount=91) (among others). ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2018, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308/100 "2018-11-30T22:41:30Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > I have a friend named Selena. Not a weird name per say, but it kind of is when you take into account that my friend doesn’t have an ounce of Latin blood in her. (She’s white) My wife’s grandmother – 100% Norwegian, born in the middle of a mostly Scandinavian area of central Iowa – had the middle name “Juanita.” Her folks must have been a hoot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/white-peoples-funny-names-for-children/825308.md?page=6)