# Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and Celine Dion **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994 "2005-07-18T16:43:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/1 "2005-07-18T16:43:39Z")
All found guilty for multiple counts of absolutely wasting their incredible talents. Their sentences? I don’t know. What’s an appropriate punishment for being born talented beyond the hope of billions of people, and then using this talent to pump out album after album of mindless crap, with the only apparent intent to make as much money as humanly possible? ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/2 "2005-07-18T16:48:46Z")
Whitney is married to Bobby Brown. Isn’t that punishment enough? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/3 "2005-07-18T16:49:34Z")
Marrying Bobby Brown? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/4 "2005-07-18T16:50:54Z")
Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/5 "2005-07-18T16:54:42Z")
Ooh, that’s a good one. I am starting to suspect that they deserve each other, though. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/6 "2005-07-18T17:05:19Z")
Just out of curiousity, how would you have liked them to use their talents. I happen to think Celine has a beautiful voice, and there are serveral songs that I enjoy. Would you prefer them to sing opera, or do you just not like their choice of lyrics? And at least Celine hasn’t tried to star in a movie. (Upon preview I’m afraid I may have come across a bit snarky. That was not my intent…I’m really interested in knowing what you think they should have done differently.) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/7 "2005-07-18T18:08:40Z")
Well, since they’ve made big bucks doing what they’re doing, it’s hard to say they wasted it. However, you’re right in that they have the ability to do much better from a musical point of view. The problem is that people _like_ this sort of powerful singing and feel it’s the sign of a great singer. (It can be – look at Ethel Merman – but Ethel knew when to dial back and when to belt 'em out. These three do not.). ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/8 "2005-07-18T18:47:32Z")
Mariah and Celine had talents? When? ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/9 "2005-07-18T18:48:02Z")
Of these three I’d say the only person who really wasted their talent is Whitney. Mariah’s been up and down the charts and on the scene more and less for going on 15 years. That’s quite a stretch. Celine’s cheesy, but she’s a rock solid entertainer. Whitney, on the other hand, has the most awesome voice of the three but her personal life has been messy and she hasn’t done anything of note in years. Big disappointment. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/10 "2005-07-18T19:00:53Z")
. . . walk into a bar. OK, complete the joke! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/11 "2005-07-18T20:06:11Z")
Mariah blames her “exhaustion” for it, Whitney is too stoned to notice, and Celine says “Hit 'urt me, eh?” (They walk _into_ a bar - get it?) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/12 "2005-07-18T21:32:16Z")
Ugh, yuck and puke? Celine is now trashy–I thought some songs on Color of My Love were ok, but not anything else. Whitney, Whitney, Whitney! Get a grip! And she ruined that nice Dolly Parton song. Mariah? I don’t like Joan Rivers, but I’ll quote her here: “a mall rat that got lucky.” I don’t like being screeched at. Not even by Cher or Babs, 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/13 "2005-07-18T21:40:27Z")
I’d strap them down (calm down, **Evil Captor**!) and force them to listen to tasteful female singers who convey actual emotion in their voices, rather than volume and vibrato. I’d play a steady loop of Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Patsy Cline, Sarah Vaughan, Dolly Parton, Neko Case, Debbie Harry, Kate Bush, Tori Amos, Gillian Welch, Annie Ross, Beth Gibbons, Allison Krauss, and Sarah Nixey, and they wouldn’t be released until they were willing to alter their hand-waving diva-like caterwauling. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/14 "2005-07-18T22:00:34Z")
Mariah seems to be on the up and up- her new CD is much better then the last few. “We Belong Together” is a good song, assuming you are into that sorta thing (which I am). Even then, isn’t Mariah the highest selling female artist of all time? Overall, she is behind Elvis and the Beatles and I think that’s it. She’s had some ungodly amount of #1 songs, too. When Mariah isn’t doing that weird, whispery, panting thing she does- she sounds amazing. Celine has a few hits, but over all…she’s annoying. Her voice isn’t even _that_ great, just better then most pop singers. I agree that Whitney is the biggest waste. She has an AMAZING voice, but spends her time doing drugs (“Crack is whack!” ya’ll 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/15 "2005-07-18T23:04:10Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > \Celine has a few hits, but over all…she’s annoying. Her voice isn’t even _that_ great, just better then most pop singers. > \ My husband would disagree with you; he has seen Celine live many times, back when she was an up-and-comer, and he thinks she has one of the best voices alive. From what I’ve heard of her, I think she (and the other two) can sing _anything_ - they just choose to sing forgettable, disposable, interchangeable pap. The cotton candy of music, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2005, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/16 "2005-07-18T23:43:13Z")
Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and Celine Dion walk into a bar: Whitney gets a black eye, and to make things even, blames it on Bobby Brown. Mariah, who is dressed typically, is told she’ll need to make an arrangement with the bartender and the bouncers if she’s “working”. Celine asks how much to buy the bar and is informed she already owns it. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/17 "2005-07-19T00:30:35Z")
Oh they’re no that bad. I don’t own any of their CDs. Although I think Whitney has had some decent songs. Particularly, “Is Not Right, But It’s Ok” And I love “Being Bobby Brown.” Did anyone see the most recent show when they were on the camping trip and Whitney says to Bobby, “I want you to take my behing that tree and just work me over” She is so raw and real. Not to defend these three, but they are highly successful. Maria Carey had more #1 songs that any other female artist in history, and Whitney is not far behind. More than a few people like them! As singers, they’re not my thing, but I don’t understand all the criticism towards them. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/18 "2005-07-19T00:32:02Z")
Mariah, not Maria. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/19 "2005-07-19T02:47:54Z")
Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and Celine Dion walk into a bar … and vow to never sing again. And move to Uzbekistan. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994/20 "2005-07-19T04:07:35Z")
> [@kevja](#): > > \Not to defend these three, but they are highly successful. Maria Carey had more #1 songs that any other female artist in history, and Whitney is not far behind. More than a few people like them! > > As singers, they’re not my thing, but I don’t understand all the criticism towards them. I don’t think you’re getting my point - yes, they are very, very successful. They have fantastic, god-given voices. They use them to sing nothing but lite-rock schmaltz. That’s my problem. So many people like them singing David Foster’s brand of garbage - imagine how good they’d be if they bothered to sing something worth singing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whitney-houston-mariah-carey-and-celine-dion/312994.md?page=2)