# Who Are The Childfree? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 7, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283 "2013-03-07T11:44:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/81 "2013-03-16T10:51:48Z")
I think the birth rate would go right down. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/82 "2013-03-16T11:09:53Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > On a side note, I’ve been giving some thought to the age-old question of which is more painful – chilbirth or a kick in the nuts. I think I can prove a kick in the nuts is the more painful: > > A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “I was thinking it might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, after a year you never hear a guy say, “I was thinking it might be nice to have another kick in the nuts.” My son is almost three, last night he accidentally hit me in the testicles. Since he has turned one and sleeps with us in the same bed I’ve been hit countless times in the testes, I’ve been hit and kicked countless times in the testes during the day too by accident. Countless testes injuries, toddler are like ball haters. So childbirth in my experience is followed by much testicular pain. My wife said he is trying to take out the competition early. ---
**Author:** ![EverwonderWhy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EverwonderWhy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EverwonderWhy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/83 "2013-03-16T15:30:19Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I think the birth rate would go right down. The birth rate has been steadily declining for some time and is expected to hover around two per women. Biology is no longer destiny for many women and given the choice they tend to have the number of children they actually desire. The number of children is not typically centered around their desire for pregnancy and childbirth :rolleyes: By the way are you childfree? Because in case you haven’t noticed the women in this thread don’t desire children. ---
**Author:** ![EverwonderWhy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EverwonderWhy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EverwonderWhy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/84 "2013-03-16T17:02:14Z")
> [@EverwonderWhy](#): > > : > By the way are you childfree? Because in case you haven’t noticed the women in this thread don’t desire children\*. _Correction_ Women in this thread don’t desire children _of their own._ And a few are content with their infertility. ---
**Author:** ![smokey78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@smokey78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smokey78)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/85 "2013-03-16T20:49:49Z")
> [@](#): > > One of the things my Mother told me weekly (and sometimes daily) was how wonderful her life was before she had kids; how wonderful her life would be if she didn’t have kids What a rarity to have parents say that out loud! I think it was Ann Landers who did a survey in the 70s about folks regretting having children and the results came to about 70% saying they regretted. When Dear Abby (recently Abby’s daughter) did the poll again, it was over 90% who did not regret being a parent. I think it reflected the times where folks expected to have children 30 years ago and and now the birth rate has fallen (both out of choice and infertility) So most folks who wanted to have children will have them (now that we’ve mastered infertility treatments)… Another blast from the past,seeing Mr Ed reruns recently (yup I’m reference a sitcom about a horse for this topic), the Posts did not have children in the five seasons it was on, plus the two sets of neighbors (who never mentioned even having grown children). They carried on lifestyles that had nothing to do with kids (beyond coaching little league and mentoring boy scouts for a few eppys) and seemed to be active and content plus minus a few horse haps with Mr Ed. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/86 "2013-03-16T23:31:49Z")
> [@EverwonderWhy](#): > > The birth rate has been steadily declining for some time and is expected to hover around two per women. Biology is no longer destiny for many women and given the choice they tend to have the number of children they actually desire. The number of children is not typically centered around their desire for pregnancy and childbirth :rolleyes: > By the way are you childfree? Because in case you haven’t noticed the women in this thread don’t desire children. Do you hear that whooshing sound and wonder what it is? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/87 "2013-03-17T00:48:30Z")
I am 56 and had my tubes tied when I was 21 and single. I didn’t want to try and convince someone else not to have kids. When I met my husband I already had the appointment scheduled. So it was easy to just tell him, ‘oh, by the way I am having my tubes tied Monday.’ We married a few years later. He died in 2008. Growing up it never occurred to me I could make a choice not to have kids. As an adult, when presented with the idea not to have kids I jumped right on it. I did NOT get much support from my friends. I was an optician and took a few years off when I first got married. People were upset with me for not having babies AND not working. ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/88 "2013-03-17T10:39:13Z")
I decided I didn’t want kids about the same time I left my GF to pursue a career. Had I not done so, no doubt I’d have married her and had children. Now, long past breeding age, I have no regrets, given how horrible most kids are. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/89 "2013-03-17T16:31:39Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > People often use the word “selfish” to describe Childfree people, and that just makes me shake my head. I don’t know of anyone who had kids for any other reason than that they wanted kids - isn’t that the definition of selfish? I’d be just as happy to call a moratorium on anyone using the word “selfish” in any discussion of anyone else’s reproductive choices. 🙂 There’s a difference between “selfish” and “self-interest.” Selfishness is doing things at others’ expense. I never can get an answer as to who’s being screwed over by me not spawning. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/90 "2013-03-18T04:54:02Z")
I think the rationale is that you’re being selfish by not having kids because the life you’re currently leading is the one you want to continue; childfree people choose not to martyr themselves on the altar of giving up their lives to have kids, so we must be the selfish ones. ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/91 "2013-03-18T05:46:20Z")
When I was a child I was given the Curse. I was told that all my children would come out just like me. I know a bad situation when I see one, and decided right there I was having none of that. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/92 "2013-03-18T06:54:47Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > There’s a difference between “selfish” and “self-interest.” > > Selfishness is doing things at others’ expense. I never can get an answer as to who’s being screwed over by me not spawning. I don’t buy your definition. Me, I’m selfish. I don’t wanna sacrifice the rest of my life for a kid. I knew in my teens, I tried to get a vasectomy in my early 20s but couldn’t, ended up getting one at 35. I’m also insecure in that I feel barely able to take care of myself, let alone someone else. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/93 "2013-03-18T06:56:57Z")
I’m not professional or religious. I like to web surf, play video games, watch movies and listen to music. I don’t have any pets. I’m middle age. I was interested in marriage several years ago, but she wasn’t so we didn’t and I so I don’t have any children. I may get married in the future, but I likely won’t willingly have children since it would be more of a burden at my age and that window of opportunity has passed me by. ---
**Author:** ![smokey78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@smokey78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smokey78)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/94 "2013-03-18T12:12:46Z")
What makes me sad actually was hearing various places how some grown children and their parents barely even have a relationship. What was the point of it all? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/95 "2013-03-18T13:23:08Z")
I’m a 30 year old teacher. I thought i might have been on the road to kids awhile back until I became single again. The funny thing is now that I’m single, I realize that I can be happy either with or without kids. I like working with kids, but I also enjoy my personal space (and expendable income) without them. So I guess if the right person came along and wanted them, I’d be okay with it. If it doesn’t happen, I can keep seeing them at work and ship them home at the end of the day. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/96 "2013-03-18T13:50:09Z")
> [@smokey78](#): > > What makes me sad actually was hearing various places how some grown children and their parents barely even have a relationship. What was the point of it all? probably prime examples of people who had kids not because they wanted them, but because it’s the done thing. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/97 "2013-03-18T14:47:50Z")
I had a horrendous childhood, and I could not risk having a child and raising it the same way. My biggest fear to this day is that I will turn out to be my mother. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/98 "2013-03-18T14:59:12Z")
Although the OP said this was not a thread to dump on our parents, I will say nary a week went by that my mother told me I was not worth having. She might be alive today, she’d be 79, but I don’t know whatever eventually became of her, nor do I care. But I decided the one and only thing she was right about was that children weren’t worth it. I’ve only had one person actually tell me I was selfish for not having children, an old friend back in Texas. But I do know a lot of Thais were disappointed that we chose not have any. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/99 "2013-03-18T19:50:10Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I don’t buy your definition. > > Me, I’m selfish. I don’t wanna sacrifice the rest of my life for a kid. I knew in my teens, I tried to get a vasectomy in my early 20s but couldn’t, ended up getting one at 35. > > I’m also insecure in that I feel barely able to take care of myself, let alone someone else. I was going by this definition: > **[dictionary.net - This website is for sale! - dictionary...](http://definitions.dictionary.net/selfish)** > > This website is for sale! dictionary.net is your first and best source for all of the information you’re looking for. From general topics to more of what you would expect to find here, dictionary.net has it all. We hope you find what you are... > [@](#): > > 1. Caring supremely or unduly for one’s self; regarding one’s own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard, or at the expense, of those of others. [1913 Webster] ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283/100 "2013-03-18T20:29:19Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > There’s a difference between “selfish” and “self-interest.” > > Selfishness is doing things at others’ expense. … > [@Katriona](#): > > I was going by this definition: > > > [@](#): > > > > 1. Caring supremely or unduly for one’s self; regarding one’s own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard, or at the expense, of those of others. [1913 Webster] > > [dictionary.net - This website is for sale! - dictionary Resources and Information.](http://definitions.dictionary.net/selfish) You seriously looked up a definition before posting? If so, I think you need to read your dictionary more carefully. Because even by the definition you supplied, ‘selfishness’ does not necessarily include “… at others’ expense.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-childfree/652283.md?page=6)