# Who are the hardest hittin' aliens in fiction? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 30, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308 "2009-03-30T14:49:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/41 "2009-03-30T21:51:12Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > The Straumli Perversion in Vernor Vinge’s _A Fire Upon the Deep_ has to rank up there – destroying a large sector of the Galaxy with all the races living in it, has to outclass puny planet destroyers by several orders of magnitude. If you count the Peversion, what about the thing that cooked up a defence against it, not just wiping out but severly dumbing down the bits of the galaxy it was saving. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/42 "2009-03-30T21:54:04Z")
> [@](#): > > A couple of characters in Larry Niven’s The Ringworld Engineers have to sacrifice 5% of the population to save the other 95%. Except that in the even worse _The Ringworld Throne_, it turns out that they didn’t need to kill anyone after all, oh joy. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/43 "2009-03-30T21:55:55Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Except that in the even worse _The Ringworld Throne_, it turns out that they didn’t need to kill anyone after all, oh joy. Louis Wu: “Oh MAN is there egg on my face! Wow! Sorry guys, my bad!” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/44 "2009-03-30T21:56:02Z")
While humans weren’t around in their heyday, the Thrintun are among the baddest aliens to ever exist. The Thrintun possessed the power of irresistable telepathic hypnosis, able to take over the mind of any non-Thrint and program it to be unfailingly loyal and obedient to the Thrintun. They conquered the entire galaxy several billion years ago and were only stopped by the Tnuctipun, a race of hyperintelligent tricksters, who spent several millenia covertly sabotaging the Thrintun’s galactic empire before rebelling. When faced with defeat and extinction, the Thrintun chose to use a telepathic amplifier to command every living thing in the galaxy with a central nervous system to die. Life in the galaxy had to reevolve from the jellyfish level. And they did all this despite having IQs in the moron range compared to humans. If Thrintun had been **smart** … ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/45 "2009-03-30T23:18:02Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Galactus, Eater of Worlds. Thanos has destroyed entire universes. But because of his massive self-esteem issues he always puts everything back the way he found it and then humbly apologizes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/46 "2009-03-30T23:35:39Z")
The Tralfamadorians destroy the _entire universe_ testing a new rocket fuel. So it goes. ---
**Author:** ![cuberdon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cuberdon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuberdon)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/47 "2009-03-30T23:36:03Z")
What, no one has mentioned the Kzin? “Quarter-ton felinoid carnivores”, badasses of the Ringworld universe? Scream and leap? Feint, then pounce? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/48 "2009-03-30T23:39:21Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Varley had an even more overwhelming alien invasion in his short story “Just Another Perfect Day”. The aliens in that story existed outside of time. When they invaded Earth, they invaded throughout history simultaneously. Not to mock you or anything, but that last clause makes not a bit of sense. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/49 "2009-03-30T23:42:54Z")
The Great Old Ones will eventually return and destroy the planet. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/50 "2009-03-31T01:33:02Z")
> [@](#): > > While humans weren’t around in their heyday, the Thrintun are among the baddest aliens to ever exist. The Thrintun possessed the power of irresistable telepathic hypnosis, able to take over the mind of any non-Thrint and program it to be unfailingly loyal and obedient to the Thrintun. They conquered the entire galaxy several billion years ago and were only stopped by the Tnuctipun, a race of hyperintelligent tricksters, who spent several millenia covertly sabotaging the Thrintun’s galactic empire before rebelling. Now, to that mind, that makes the Tnuctipun the badasses. They not only managed to defeat the rulers of the galaxy, they did so _while being continually telepathically compelled not to_. And the Kzinti are pansies. Sure, I wouldn’t want to meet one down a dark alley, but we’re talking about the race that managed to fail in an ambush using far-superior technology against a bunch of squishy primates that had _forgotten how to use weapons_. And then to lose what, five? six? wars against those same squishy primates, to the extent that they had to evolve a new social caste just for the purpose of apologizing. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/51 "2009-03-31T02:48:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Thanos has destroyed entire universes. But because of his massive self-esteem issues he always puts everything back the way he found it and then humbly apologizes. Well, heck, the Beyonder wiped a whole galaxy just to make a good first impression in the opening pages of _Secret Wars_. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/52 "2009-03-31T02:51:44Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, heck, the Beyonder wiped a whole galaxy just to make a good first impression in the opening pages of _Secret Wars_. Ugh. I always thought Secret Wars was a much lamer Big Cosmic Comic Event than Crisis. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/53 "2009-03-31T03:30:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Varley had an even more overwhelming alien invasion in his short story “Just Another Perfect Day”. The aliens in that story existed outside of time. When they invaded Earth, they invaded throughout history simultaneously. > [@](#): > > Not to mock you or anything, but that last clause makes not a bit of sense. The aliens didn’t just show up and invade the Earth in the year 2009 AD. They also invaded Earth in 1855 and 1606 and 812 and 14 BC - all as part of a single invasion. From their point of view, making simultaneous attacks in the 21st and the third centuries were no different than making simultaneous attacks in the United States and China. ---
**Author:** ![Alastair\_Moonsong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@Alastair\_Moonsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alastair_Moonsong)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/54 "2009-03-31T03:55:03Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Photino Birds. > > They’re destroying the entire Universe (as we know it) to make it more comfortable for them. The XeeLee are trying to stop them. Both sides are making it uncomfortable for beings like humans. “Uncomfortable” as in “ant nest on a construction site.” I read that book. Can’t recall the title though. What was it? It’s bugging me. My nomination: The Inhibitors, from the Revelation Space trilogy by Alastair Reynolds. For BILLIONS OF YEARS the have been systematically eradicating all intelligent life in the Milky Way. Not “Wiped out all life in the galaxy in a massive war” or anything, but carefully annihilated every intelligent civilization that arose over the course of Eons. That has GOT to be Number 1. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/55 "2009-03-31T05:07:55Z")
There’s a fairly short story, but I can’t remember the name or author. Basically, every time they discover a moderately advanced race, they send this artifact, knowing it will be found and poked and prodded at. Eventually somebody pushes the wrong button and the thing makes the local sun go supernova. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/56 "2009-03-31T05:15:33Z")
Don’t recall that story, but the gizmo sounds like a particularly evil version of the Monolith from _2001: A Space Odyssey_. ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/57 "2009-03-31T08:36:42Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The aliens didn’t just show up and invade the Earth in the year 2009 AD. They also invaded Earth in 1855 and 1606 and 812 and 14 BC - all as part of a single invasion. From their point of view, making simultaneous attacks in the 21st and the third centuries were no different than making simultaneous attacks in the United States and China. That was exactly **Skald** ’s point. If these aliens had invaded in 14 BC, _there would be no need_ to invade subsequent times; either they win, giving them nothing left to conquer in 812, 1606, 1855, or 2009; or they fail at invasion or occupation, in which case they’d be dividing their forces piecemeal and no single force would be strong enough to hold anything. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/58 "2009-03-31T10:19:46Z")
> [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](#): > > That was exactly **Skald** ’s point. If these aliens had invaded in 14 BC, _there would be no need_ to invade subsequent times; either they win, giving them nothing left to conquer in 812, 1606, 1855, or 2009; or they fail at invasion or occupation, in which case they’d be dividing their forces piecemeal and no single force would be strong enough to hold anything. Not necessarily. I mean, obviously it makes no sense to _us_, who live in a linear time or with a linear perception of it if you will, but if those aliens moved through time as easily as in the other dimensions, and furthermore assume we also do (and why not ? Maybe we will in the future), it makes sense - wouldn’t want the 1983 humans to come and fight them off in 945. What if every single human from -40.000BC to the death of the Sun were to band up and make their stand together in 1715 ? That’s a lot of monkeys. Better to hit them all by surprise while they’re still scattered all over time. Heck, they could even not \*realize \*they’re attacking different times. If time is just another dimension to them, they’re really invading only one “time” and one big place. My head hurts trying to picture their thought processes and perceptions that way though :p. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/59 "2009-03-31T11:35:33Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Now, to that mind, that makes the Tnuctipun the badasses. They not only managed to defeat the rulers of the galaxy, they did so _while being continually telepathically compelled not to_. > > And the Kzinti are pansies. Sure, I wouldn’t want to meet one down a dark alley, but we’re talking about the race that managed to fail in an ambush using far-superior technology against a bunch of squishy primates that had _forgotten how to use weapons_. And then to lose what, five? six? wars against those same squishy primates, to the extent that they had to evolve a new social caste just for the purpose of apologizing. This, and when Chmeee, with the size and experience of an adult warrior kzin and the reflexes, fitness and aggression of an adolescent thanks to a hefty (and unwanted) dose of boosterspice stacked up against a converted-human protector a quarter of his size _who was fighting to lose_, he got his ass kicked 'most to death, and only survived because she deliberately left herself wide open to Louis Wu’s laser. As he put it, “Kdapt help me if she had fought to win”. As a species, they’re outmatched embarrassingly by the Pierson’s Puppeteers, and after witnessing the Fleet Of Worlds, Speaker-To-Animals (as he is then known) admits that if the Puppeteers had feared the kzinti they would have exterminated them mercilessly and unstoppably. Aside from the extinct tnuctipun, there are the contemporary Outsiders, who have (as a character says in, I think, “Cathouse” in _The Man-Kzin Wars_) technology we can’t even properly describe, let alone understand or hope to emulate. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308/60 "2009-03-31T17:07:55Z")
> [@](#): > > That was exactly Skald’s point. If these aliens had invaded in 14 BC, there would be no need to invade subsequent times; either they win, giving them nothing left to conquer in 812, 1606, 1855, or 2009; or they fail at invasion or occupation, in which case they’d be dividing their forces piecemeal and no single force would be strong enough to hold anything. Varley didn’t go into a lot of depth in how the aliens thought. In fact, the inability to understand them was one of the points of the story. But I can sort of see the concept. If you’re not restricted to any particular time period and you’re invading Earth, why would you limit yourself to only invading one time period? For them the chronological difference between 2009 BC and 2009 AD is no different than the geographical difference between Manhattan and Tokyo - they’re all just locations. If you only attack one location, you’re leaving other easy prizes untouched for no reason. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-hardest-hittin-aliens-in-fiction/491308.md?page=4)