# Who are the Lamest Villains? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 24, 2007, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594 "2007-11-24T09:06:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/61 "2007-11-26T20:53:43Z")
Any villian who was defeated by tossing Hostess© Fruit Pies at them. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/62 "2007-11-26T21:00:03Z")
Any [being of pure energy.](http://davidszondy.com/future/Dystopias/childhood.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/63 "2007-11-26T21:43:47Z")
Where Walks The [Walrus?](http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/walrus.htm) What about Turner D. Century? Or maybe The Prankster? The Animated Series Toyman was just damn creepy, though. ---
**Author:** ![ShadowFacts](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfacts/32/2934_2.png) [@ShadowFacts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowFacts)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/64 "2007-11-26T21:44:03Z")
[QUOTE=Knowed Out] [Tapping Tommy](http://marvunapp.com/Appendix/tappingt.htm) I win. [/QUOTE] Indeed. Sometimes you just have to shake you head and shrug. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/65 "2007-11-26T21:52:10Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Any [brain in a jar.](http://davidszondy.com/future/Dystopias/superbrain.htm) [/QUOTE] Is it me or does that guy in front look remarkably like James T. Kirk? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/66 "2007-11-26T22:23:46Z")
[QUOTE=Lute Skywatcher] Is it me or does that guy in front look remarkably like James T. Kirk? [/QUOTE] Ten thousand quatloos on the newcomers! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/67 "2007-11-26T22:55:06Z")
[QUOTE=Lute Skywatcher] Is it me or does that guy in front look remarkably like James T. Kirk? [/QUOTE] BTW, have the Ferengi’s been mentioned yet? Certainly they are the lamest ‘Star Trek’ baddies. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/68 "2007-11-27T00:15:26Z")
Ya know, Turner D. Century’s been mentioned a few times here, and there’s no denying that he deserves a place of honor in the Villainy Hall of Shame. But it’s a new century now! So where’s the new, updated Turner D. Century? The guy with an endless supply of Clinton jokes and Y2K-themed crimes, who tells everyone that he’s “here to party like it’s 1999?” Maybe he’d dress like Eminem and style himself Turna-D Cent! How about it, DC Comics? ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/69 "2007-11-27T04:14:08Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Ya know, Turner D. Century’s been mentioned a few times here, and there’s no denying that he deserves a place of honor in the Villainy Hall of Shame. But it’s a new century now! So where’s the new, updated Turner D. Century? The guy with an endless supply of Clinton jokes and Y2K-themed crimes, who tells everyone that he’s “here to party like it’s 1999?” Maybe he’d dress like Eminem and style himself Turna-D Cent! How about it, DC Comics? [/QUOTE] According to Wikipedia, Turner D. Century first appeared in 1980, making him about 75 years behind the times. So his modern counterpart would be a guy with a 1930’s Depression-era schtick going on. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/70 "2007-11-27T05:06:25Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] According to Wikipedia, Turner D. Century first appeared in 1980, making him about 75 years behind the times. So his modern counterpart would be a guy with a 1930’s Depression-era schtick going on. [/QUOTE] Rooty Zoot Suit! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/71 "2007-11-27T11:28:25Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] According to Wikipedia, Turner D. Century first appeared in 1980, making him about 75 years behind the times. So his modern counterpart would be a guy with a 1930’s Depression-era schtick going on. [/QUOTE] I must protest! Turner D. Century’s sublime lameness stems is not merely a direct function of how old-fashioned he is! Even old-fashioned things can come back into style, after all. No, Turner D. Century’s crime is not that he is old-fashioned, but rather that he attempts to embody the irretrieveably volatile popular culture of a highly specific time frame. I submit that a Turner D. Century for the year 2000- a “Turner D. Millenium,” if you will-- could be just as lame as the original. Imagine a character who, instead of riding a bicycle built for two, commits his crimes with a relentlessly self-congratulatory ‘X-treme!’ motif, using skateboard moves cribbed directly from Mountain Dew ads and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater. A character who causes confusion at the animal shelter by literally “letting the dogs out,” or who commands an army of androids that Macarena at his whim! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/72 "2007-11-27T13:09:08Z")
I can’t believe I’m the first one to nominate **Turner D. Century**! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/73 "2007-11-27T15:34:46Z")
Can I mention The Guy in the Jack Chick comics? Whomever The Guy is who tells the Sinning Person that they are Going to Hell if they don’t change Their Evil Ways? Lame. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/74 "2007-11-27T15:41:19Z")
[QUOTE=Sapo] Swiper the Fox, from Dora the Explorer. You simply cannot beat the lameness of a guy who comes to steal worthless trinkets out of spite and you just tell him “Swiper no swiping” and he snaps his fingers and leaves saying “Oh, man”. [/QUOTE] For a good laugh, read the “biography” of Swiper on the Dora The Explorer page at Wikipedia. It’s hilariously deadpan. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/75 "2007-11-27T16:37:05Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Can I mention The Guy in the Jack Chick comics? Whomever The Guy is who tells the Sinning Person that they are Going to Hell if they don’t change Their Evil Ways? Lame. [/QUOTE] I dunno if he counts as a “villain” for the purposes of the comic, though. After all, he is trying to save the Sinner’s soul from an eternity of fiery torment. It’s not his fault that the Judeo-Christian deity in Chick’s universe is a jealous, wrathful demon with Munchausen’s-by-proxy Syndrome. The traditional villains of Chick narratives are a fairly sorry lot as well, truth be told. But that’s what you get when your religion’s eschatological debates are played out in Bazooka Joe format. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/76 "2007-11-27T17:14:30Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] According to Wikipedia, Turner D. Century first appeared in 1980, making him about 75 years behind the times. So his modern counterpart would be a guy with a 1930’s Depression-era schtick going on. [/QUOTE] Boy, that Babe Ruth can really play, huh? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/77 "2007-11-28T00:14:28Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Ya know, Turner D. Century’s been mentioned a few times here, and there’s no denying that he deserves a place of honor in the Villainy Hall of Shame. But it’s a new century now! So where’s the new, updated Turner D. Century? The guy with an endless supply of Clinton jokes and Y2K-themed crimes, who tells everyone that he’s “here to party like it’s 1999?” Maybe he’d dress like Eminem and style himself Turna-D Cent! How about it, DC Comics? [/QUOTE] Turner D Century was a _Marvel_ character. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/78 "2007-11-28T01:02:03Z")
Dr. Loveless from the Will Smith movie version of _Wild West_, fits both definitions of the thread title. Dude didn’t have no legs at all. Also, he totally sucked. Lame, and lame. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/79 "2007-11-28T01:04:59Z")
Mr Kil from _Die Another DaY_. Most Bond henchmen rack up a nice bodycount before their own demise. Mr Kil scored a duck. And he had a stupid name, too, the dumbest in the whole franchise. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594/80 "2007-11-28T01:19:32Z")
Let us not forget [Professor Chaos.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butters) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-lamest-villains/427594.md?page=5)