# Who are the tenderest people? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2007, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786 "2007-09-28T08:46:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/1 "2007-09-28T08:46:31Z")
[Wagyu](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wagyu) cattle are prized in Japan and around the world for their exceptional tenderness due to high intra-muscular marbling. The cause of this is a combination of genetics and diet. If we were to eat humans in the way that we eat cattle, which sub-population of humans and which particular cut would be the most prized and valued? ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/2 "2007-09-28T08:47:56Z")
I’d say pre-pubescent humans would be best. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/3 "2007-09-28T12:30:19Z")
For a brief moment, I thought this might be about common humanity and empathy for others and a long, drawn-out fistfight over who loves their fellow sophont the most. I love this place. It would probably be a toss-up between the pre-pubescents of most First World countries. I think America would top the list, but it would be close. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/4 "2007-09-28T12:32:11Z")
Have you **SEEN** Americans? “Well-marbled” is an understatement! ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/5 "2007-09-28T13:13:57Z")
Let’s try this in In My Humble Opinion. **Gfactor** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/6 "2007-09-28T13:37:53Z")
What is it, cannibalism week? [How many grams of protein are in a pound of human muscle?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=438063) ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/7 "2007-09-28T13:40:28Z")
Every week is cannibalism week. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/8 "2007-09-28T13:52:57Z")
That chick with the fake 9/11 story. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/9 "2007-09-28T15:54:43Z")
If I recall right from the guy they arrested on “Bones” this week: Most people taste like beef, but babies taste like fish. The younger the person, the more tender. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/10 "2007-09-28T16:31:59Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] If I recall right from the guy they arrested on “Bones” this week: Most people taste like beef, but babies taste like fish. The younger the person, the more tender. [/QUOTE] 😕 Then why is it called “longpork”? And, seriously, when I had a mole burned off at the doc’s, I was sitting there saying “Erm, do I smell bacon?” and the doc was all “Um… that’s _you_ cooking.” ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/11 "2007-09-28T16:33:56Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] Every week is cannibalism week. [/QUOTE] Dude: It’s What’s For Dinner. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/12 "2007-09-28T16:37:50Z")
To make veal real tender they don’t let them move around much. In humans - office workers? People who go on Jerry Springer? Would vegetarians taste better than those who aren’t? Like how cows are considered better eating than omnivores like racoons and bears. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/13 "2007-09-28T16:58:37Z")
[QUOTE=Gfactor] Let’s try this in In My Humble Opinion. **Gfactor** General Questions Moderator [/QUOTE] Tell me this was in Cafe Society first though… Please! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/14 "2007-09-28T17:08:22Z")
I would think chubby kids would be the best bet. You know, the doughy kids that don’t want to run laps around the field? WAG, someone that was too obese wouldn’t have enough muscle to really have much meat on them, but someone that was overweight but not too fat would probably have the kind of low muscle tone present in tender meats. WAG, like I said. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/15 "2007-09-28T17:32:33Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] If I recall right from the guy they arrested on “Bones” this week: Most people taste like beef, but babies taste like fish. The younger the person, the more tender. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I’d suspect babies would taste the best. Jonathan Swift thought so too: > [@](#): > > He said that many gentlemen of this kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age nor under twelve; so great a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve for want of work and service; and these to be disposed of by their parents, if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due deference to so excellent a friend and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American acquaintance assured me, from frequent experience, that **their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys by continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think, with humble submission be a loss to the public, because they soon would become breeders themselves** > > [snip] > > **I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled**. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/16 "2007-09-28T19:07:31Z")
9 out of 10 Morlocks surveyed answered, “Eloi!” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/17 "2007-09-28T19:33:46Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] Every week is cannibalism week. [/QUOTE] Bite me. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/18 "2007-09-28T20:11:27Z")
You have to consider that Castrati might be very good, along the lines of a Capon. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/19 "2007-09-28T20:34:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Because of the Wagyu cattle’s genetic predisposition and special diet including beer and sake, .. Assuming the genetic predisposition is Asian in origin, young, hard drinking Asians are the way to go! The necessary lack of movement might rule out athletes and go-getter student types, but if you waited around one of those resale vidjya game stores you might find some candidates. (Skip the Wii aisle, those require more activity than you’re looking for.) ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786/20 "2007-09-28T20:49:51Z")
[QUOTE=elfkin477] To make veal real tender they don’t let them move around much. In humans - office workers? People who go on Jerry Springer? Would vegetarians taste better than those who aren’t? Like how cows are considered better eating than omnivores like racoons and bears. [/QUOTE] What about the legs of paraplegics? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-the-tenderest-people/420786.md?page=2)