# Who are you, REALLY? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 5, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003 "2002-04-05T15:00:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/41 "2002-04-07T18:11:18Z")
I am Grey, the Vulcan Jedi. I walk the Twilight path between the Light and the Dark Side of the Force. Due to my achieving Kohlinar…the purging of emotion…I have eliminated desire and passion. I can deal with my enemies in ways which would forever consume others. Live long and prosper. May the Force be with you. Don’t Fuck with me. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/42 "2002-04-07T18:47:09Z")
My secret identity is a ethereally beautiful, independently wealthy aesthete and philanthropist. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/43 "2002-04-07T18:55:44Z")
Supermom, she’s energetic and multitasks with a smile on her face and laughter in her eyes, she’s smart and tireless, she’s selfless, kind and helpful outside her family as well, she’s cool too, and she’s sexy, but not blatantly so and certainly not to those whom she mothers. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/44 "2002-04-07T19:52:43Z")
Any super hero that can fly. You see, I don’t necessarly want to fight crime or explore the universe or be hailed as a hero. I just want to **fly** , dammit! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/45 "2002-04-08T02:33:19Z")
I am my secret identity. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/46 "2002-04-08T03:34:51Z")
I think my alterego is a detective, not unlike Miss Cordelia Grey. She is tough, sexy, logical, adventurous, cool-headed…everything I’m…well, not exactly up to. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/47 "2002-04-08T04:28:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Czarcasm \* > \*\*Lance Pertwillaby-_Captain Kentucky!_ \*\* I have the recipe for octa-hexa-glop around here somewhere. Iy could be in the margins of Book Of The Vishanti. I’ll go look. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/48 "2002-04-08T15:25:16Z")
I am El Diablo, masked wrestler. Gonna put the Claw on you. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/49 "2002-04-08T16:58:39Z")
Lamont Cranston ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/50 "2002-04-08T20:19:24Z")
By day, I’m a cynical, socially-cursed nerdling. By night, I’m the **Kittenator** (cue dramatic, but cute music - “Flight of the Valkyries” as played by a xylophone, for example). Hey, don’t mock kittens; they have extraordinary abilities - especially when daemon-possessed and hungry. I lure evildoers with a cute ‘mew’ and then sink my sharp claws, undulled by a lifetime of walking on bookshelves, into their pantlegs, making them wince in pain long enough to let Superman or whomever take them down. Then the superhero, overtaken by my cuteness, gives me the credit and I get the keys to the city. The ladies just love me. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/51 "2002-04-12T08:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\* > > Interviews? Really?? Wow, I didn’t know that I’m not alone. You see, my alter-ego " Successful young writer" has interviews about recently published best sellers. The interviewers are awed by my ability to write so well at such a tender age, and they’d probably be very fawning if I didn’t fall asleep almost immediately after I start thinking the fantasy through-every time. \*\* That’s always a fun one. The only issue is when the character is supposed to live his life in secrecy/keep his ablities secret. I can imagine a lot of interesting after effects on that (Witch hunts, Reporters camping out on the lawn, the pic going up on every news paper front page on earth, stuff like that). ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/52 "2002-04-12T08:17:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SlightDistrurbance \* > \*\*I’m Batman. > > No really. > > \*\* “Would you like to ride with Batman?” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SlightDistrurbance \* > > Okay, you got me, I’m chaosincarnate. > > Who knew? > > \*\* So, are you Nyarlathotep? If you don’t know what I mean, don’t worry about it. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003/53 "2002-04-12T14:47:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HPL \* > \*\* > > That’s always a fun one. The only issue is when the character is supposed to live his life in secrecy/keep his ablities secret. I can imagine a lot of interesting after effects on that (Witch hunts, Reporters camping out on the lawn, the pic going up on every news paper front page on earth, stuff like that). \*\* That’s the beauty of being able to turn into a bat. The common, brown bat is not the fastest thing on wings. But at two inches long, it’s impossible to track one at night. I’d be safe as long as no one stuck a radio transmitter on me. Hijack-Marvel Comics explored this and a bunch of other comic book plot-devices/cliches in StarBrand. The protagonist is given powers by a mysterious, dying man. ``` He does not immediately get a costume and fight crime. When he attends a comic book convention, a panel begins deducing his identity. 'Well, yeah, you're wearing a mask but I can tell you're a caucasian male, roughly 6 feet. You're accent sounds like New Jersey. And under that mask, you've got a big nose.' ``` Other Hijack-Iron Man has also dealt with this. When James Rhodes briefly replaced Iron Man, he didn’t reveal his identity to the other Avengers. Due to the armor concealing even his eyes and distorting his voice, the other heroes assume that Tony’s still in the armor. Rhodes reveals the truth by taking off one glove and showing them brown skin. ‘I don’t know yet if I can tell you who I really am. But, as you can see, I’m not Tony Stark.’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you-really/102003.md?page=2)