# " Who are you" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2022, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639 "2022-06-03T18:41:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2022, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/1 "2022-06-03T18:41:42Z")
I wonder what kind of answers I would get if I asked this question to everyone I talked to. I could easily describe who I would like to be. There are few professions that I would accept as an acceptable answer. For some reason mathematics and science would be exceptions to this. If I asked that question to a scientist and he answered that he was a scientist I could accept that. If I asked the same question to an athlete or a salesman I couldn’t accept it. Artistic and creative people are another group I could accept their professions as good answers. I know I often fall short of who I want to be and when that happens I am not very happy with myself and look for ways to change. How much does our identity affect our daily lives? ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2022, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/2 "2022-06-03T19:50:38Z")
People are the sum total of, _at_ _least_, all their experiences, worldviews and hard-wired traits. There is no one-word answer you could get that will even begin to describe who a person is. That’s probably the biggest failure of identity politics. It is reductionist and ultimately useless. An individual is far, far more than whatever simplistic label they give themselves. e.g. Josef Mengele may describe himself as a scientist, So might Newton, so might Darwin. I’m not sure that “scientist” is anything like a useful descriptor there. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2022, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/3 "2022-06-03T20:58:30Z")
What do you mean that you couldn’t accept someone’s answer to the question? If that’s how someone chooses to answer, why do you get to decide what’s acceptable and unacceptable? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2022, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/4 "2022-06-03T22:26:19Z")
I ask that of people on occasion. Some people have an answer. It’s easier if I know someone in a work context, then they can say something like “I work for Jim Whatshisface in in-house services”. I don’t think most people have a clearly defined non-work identity. Of course even at work I usually forgot whatever title I was given. This seemed to really bother some people who had titles like “First tier engineering support team architect”. And if they told me they their title was “something, something, scrum master” I would just laugh. Anyway, ask me who I am I’ll tell you I’m a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside a fun, crazy, weird guy. Don’t know if that helps. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2022, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/5 "2022-06-03T22:42:20Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I wonder what kind of answers I would get if I asked this question to everyone I talked to. I could easily describe who I would like to be. There are few professions that I would accept as an acceptable answer. This is interesting to me because if asked “who are you” I would never in a million years think to answer with my profession. I don’t consider it a particularly significant part of my identity, even though I’ve been doing some version of it for over thirty years now. It’s just the job I do to pay the bills 🙂. I’m not quite sure how I would succinctly answer that question. Likely, I wouldn’t. Like some of my posts on this board, my answer would probably be long-winded, digress a lot and never quite sum up satisfactorily. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2022, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/6 "2022-06-03T22:57:48Z")
‘Who are you’ is wildly different than ‘What do you do’. Yes many associate their job with who they are. But I feel that’s wrong. I’m many people, that’s the who. And I do many jobs. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/7 "2022-06-04T01:56:57Z")
^^pretty much what enipla said. Who am I? The answer is context and circumstance dependant. I would give you a differently framed and organized and emphasized answer in a work related environment than I would in a non-work related environment. I would give you an answer that was different on here than I would face to face. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/8 "2022-06-04T04:57:10Z")
Actually, what I’ve seen of you in the last year doesn’t have a lot of mystery involved. You are a cop, through and through. To the OP, my name is Jane. How are you? Before I retired if asked in a work situation, I would have responded with such identifiers that would help the person asking know what I was. Now I just give my name and sometimes my general location. There really isn’t any reason for anyone to need to know anything more unless we were at a social event. Those have been far and few since the world ended though. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/9 "2022-06-04T05:41:21Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > Actually, what I’ve seen of you in the last year doesn’t have a lot of mystery involved. You are a cop, through and through. That is hilarious. You are as far off as could be. Perhaps your other perceptions are equally misplaced. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/10 "2022-06-04T06:21:37Z")
I’ve been asking myself that very question for nearly 40 years. I find it very hard _not_ to answer with my profession because I spent a _very_ long time working to be where I am today. I couldn’t finish reading the current thread on homelessness because I’ve nearly been there and just thinking about it gives me anxiety. Today my profession is what gives me stability and protection from insolvency. Plus, being a teacher is something of a calling: one has to really, really want to do it. It’s more than just a job. Of course, I could just as easily say I’m a father, a son, a husband. I could say I’m an overweight middle-aged CIS American. I’m a progressive liberal. I’m a wannabe novelist. I dont know if any of these things – including my profession – define me. If you actually ask me who I am, I’ll likely tell you “nobody. I’m with the band.” And you’ll think I’m crazy or a jerk and likely leave me alone. Because that’s another thing I am: an extreme introvert. A long time ago I gave up caring what other people think of who I am or what I do. I’ve had posters on this very board tell me I should not be allowed to be a teacher. As long as my students are successful and my family is ok with who I am, then I’m good. But I still can’t answer the question with any confidence. (And I realize there’s a difference between “who are you” and “what are you” but I can’t give you a clear explanation of what that difference is.) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/11 "2022-06-04T08:00:07Z")
If I had to define myself, I’d include my profession, but it’d be pretty far down the list. I’ve changed my profession in the past, but it didn’t change the type of person I am. OTOH, if I became, say, a prizefighter, I’d have to change in many ways. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/12 "2022-06-04T08:12:45Z")
My response, “I’m me”. Any other information depends on the circumstances, and then would go into the why the question is being asked. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/13 "2022-06-04T08:14:13Z")
If someone asked me “who are you”, i’d give them my name. My occupation is what I do, not who I am. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/14 "2022-06-04T08:49:09Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > If someone asked me “who are you”, I’d give them my name. Me too, although it’s context dependent - at a wedding I’d also tell them who I’m related to or friends with. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/15 "2022-06-04T11:10:16Z")
“Who’s asking?” ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/16 "2022-06-04T11:40:25Z")
I’m a collection of cells that work together forming a human body. That’s my dating app bio. I don’t have any dates, but at least I’m honest. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2022, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/17 "2022-06-04T12:01:04Z")
![](https://c.tenor.com/lmPlUipcJY4AAAAM/who-are-you-who-are.gif "Who Are You Who Who GIF - Who Are You Who Are Who - Discover & Share GIFs") Who am I? A citizen of the world, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2022, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/18 "2022-06-05T00:30:19Z")
There are the obvious utilitarian answers that depend on the context of the question. In most contexts, “Who are you?” is just a request for an identifier, perhaps one that explains why you’re present/involved in the context. “I’m Bob, from Accounting” would be an acceptable answer to that version of the question (assuming you actually answer to “Bob” and work in an accounting department). It’s superficial, but useful, and likely all the questioner needs to know. It only gets fuzzy when the question is asked in a philosophical context (or when drunk, or high, or some combination of the three). In which case, the answer might be the sum total of the choices you would make alone, that no one would ever know about. Therefore, I wouldn’t answer, because it would spoil that last bit. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2022, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/19 "2022-06-05T00:42:03Z")
“Not who I thought I would be.” ---
**Author:** ![Mars\_Horizon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mars_horizon/32/2804_2.png) [@Mars\_Horizon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mars_Horizon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2022, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639/20 "2022-06-05T01:10:01Z")
Wrong question, Kosh old boy. You should be asking ‘What do you want?’ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-are-you/965639.md?page=2)