# Who buys billion-dollar bearer bonds? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 17, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147 "2012-02-17T16:40:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/1 "2012-02-17T16:40:03Z")
[Here’s a story](http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-02-17/italy-police-seize-6-trillion-of-fake-u-s-treasury-bonds-in-switzerland.html) that strikes me as bizarre. I kept looking at the URL, wondering if I’d ended up at _the ONION_. > [@](#): > > Italian anti-mafia prosecutors said they seized a record $6 trillion of allegedly fake U.S. Treasury bonds, an amount that’s almost half of the U.S.’s public debt. … The bonds were found hidden in makeshift compartments of three safety deposit boxes in Zurich, … > > The U.S. embassy in Rome has examined the securities dated 1934, which had a nominal value of $1 billion apiece, they said in the statement… > > **The individuals involved were planning to buy plutonium from Nigerian sources** , according to phone conversations monitored by the police. > > The fraud posed “severe threats” to international financial stability … The journalist hedged his bets with “allegedly” fake, I guess to protect himself in case the bonds are valid, FDR having thrown himself one heckuva party at the height of the great Depression. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hermitian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hermitian/32/470_2.png) [@Hermitian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermitian)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/2 "2012-02-17T21:13:06Z")
Yea, I saw the same thing, and it didn’t make a lot of sense. How exactly did they think this would work? Did anyone perform any endgame planning? I can imagine couple of Nigerians walking up to a counter: Teller: How may I help you today, sir? Nigerians: Uh, yea. We have a couple of US bonds that we would like to cash out. Teller: Ok sir, what kind of bonds do you have and how many are there? Nigerians: Yea, um. _internal huddle to discuss_ Uh, yea, we have 100 bonds, they are one billion dollars each! _wears large smile_ Teller: _blink blink_ (Teller pushes red button under counter). $6 Trillion dollars? Really? Did you think no one would notice? Did someone get just a BIT too greedy with their new fake bond printing machine? ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/3 "2012-02-17T21:57:51Z")
Obviously Dr. Evil is behind this scam. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/4 "2012-02-17T22:10:29Z")
Roger Van Zandt. …I’m talking to an empty telephone. Because there’s a dead man on the other end of this fucking line. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/5 "2012-02-17T22:11:34Z")
You could use it as in Mark Twain’s story [The Million Pound Bank Note](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Million_Pound_Bank_Note) _Scene: A very expensive store. CUSTOMER: How much is the jewelry all together? SALESPERSON: They would be just $3 million, sir. CUSTOMER: Sorry, I don’t have any cash on me, and I left my Amex card in my other suit. Could you change this? [offering bearer bond] SALESPERSON: I don’t think we have $997 million in our cash register right now. Perhaps sir could open a credit account with us. All our best customers have one._ ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/6 "2012-02-17T22:14:22Z")
Also, sometimes I get frustrated at the signal to noise ratio on the Dope. Then I read things like the comment posts for that story to remind myself that the rest of the internet is a horrible, horrible place. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/7 "2012-02-17T23:13:05Z")
My favorite comment from the article is this: > [@Tonyddickensen](#): > > Where there is fire there is smoke, and this is a smoke screen. The question is; a smoke screen for what? > > Lets try some adjustment to the facts and see what happens. > > Not Plutonium for sale but Gold. > > Not out dated bond certificates but genuine ones (but of a realistic denomination and total value). > > Yep, I can see how that would be interpreted as a terrorist act. Of course! The counterfeit billions for plutonium scheme is just a cover story hiding the _real_ crime - buying gold at a reasonable price. I knew Glen Beck was behind this! ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/8 "2012-02-17T23:17:35Z")
A bear with a billion dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Enuma\_Elish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Enuma\_Elish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enuma_Elish)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/9 "2012-02-18T00:07:08Z")
I’m just trying to imagine going into my local Credit Union and trying to get them to deal with a Billion Dollar Bearer Bond. Heh Heh Heh Heh! Good Times! ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/10 "2012-02-18T00:10:21Z")
“Who buys billion-dollar bearer bonds?” Guys with billion-dollar bills. There must be a comedy somewhere along these lines. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/11 "2012-02-18T00:19:43Z")
Yogi Berra supposedly received a check from Jack Buck made out to _Bearer._ “How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don’t know how to spell my name.” ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/12 "2012-02-18T02:30:38Z")
Sometimes I think these things are done without any real appreciation for the value of a dollar. They’re done in countries where a loaf of bread costs 10,000 Ungadins and a car is in the trillions. I don’t know how familiar any of you are/were with an online game called Evony, but I had heard enough bad things about it that I had to look in on it. Like most online games, you can purchase in-game money and goods with real money. They had purchase options up to around $10,000 American dollars in the store. It’s possible, but I just can’t imagine that being offered by someone actually knowledgeable in currency values. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/13 "2012-02-18T03:39:32Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Sometimes I think these things are done without any real appreciation for the value of a dollar. They’re done in countries where a loaf of bread costs 10,000 Ungadins and a car is in the trillions. Italy? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-buys-billion-dollar-bearer-bonds/613147/14 "2012-02-18T05:52:56Z")
> [@Hermitian](#): > > Yea, I saw the same thing, and it didn’t make a lot of sense. How exactly did they think this would work? Did anyone perform any endgame planning? I can imagine couple of Nigerians walking up to a counter… No no no … it starts with a simple email: Good day, Dear Hermitian; My name is MrDr. Rhythm Dvl. With warm heart I offer my friendship, and my greetings,and I hope this letter meets you in good time. It will be surprising for you to receive this proposal from me since you do not know me personally. However, your name came to me through a close acquaintance of both of ours who said you were most trustworthy and deserving. I am sincerely seeking your confidence in a transaction,which I, propose with my free mind and as a person of integrity…