# Who Cleans Up After Superheroes? (Open Spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 21, 2006, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459 "2006-07-21T09:17:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/1 "2006-07-21T09:17:03Z")
In _Superman Returns_, Supes stops a plane from crashing and sets it down gently in a baseball stadium (in the middle of a game, I might add), after checking to make sure the passengers are okay, he flies off, _leaving the plane in the middle of the field!_ Now, even if the plane wasn’t suffering from a melted tail and missing wing, there’s no way it could have been flown out of there under it’s own power as there’s not enough room for it to take off. So how did they get the plane out of there? Not to mention how did they handle the jet fuel that was probably leaking out of the thing? Then there’s the whole matter of the game itself, how would the MLB handle that? This kind of thing _always_ seems to happen in superhero films. The superhero plunks down something he’s snatched from certain death where ever’s convienent and then leaves. Who handles that (and when you’re dealing with something like a train being set down on an interstate and unionized labor, I can imagine the bickering that would be going on to determine who did what)? And what about where the superhero and the villian proceed to beat the crap out of one another and take out half the city in the process? Who fixes all that and, more importantly, who _pays_ for all that? Given that insurance companies all have riders saying they don’t have to pay in case of war or terrorism, I’m sure that they’d add one if superheroes were around, so they wouldn’t have to pay out every time Spiderman and Green Goblin go at it. If the government picks up the tab, how freakin’ high would the taxes have to be to cover it? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/2 "2006-07-21T09:30:37Z")
There was an old Marvel book, _Damage Control_, about a company set up exactly to deal with this sort of thing. Though, as I recall, it was run entirely by “mundane” humans. I imagine, depending on the universe, you could probably hire some lesser metahumans/mutants, and make the job go easier. (Y’know, the types who have above human abilities, but still aren’t good enough to last long as true superheroes or villains. Or just don’t want to.) ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/3 "2006-07-21T09:49:34Z")
Everyone else who is grateful that the holes in the city they’re plugging aren’t twice the size? 😉 In the Judge Dredd universe, the superheroes are the policemen of the city. Cleaning up after them is done by the city for the city. Occasionally damage is seen being controlled or repaired in the background by more or less future equivalents of the fire service or demolition workers. In a city of hundreds of millions, where unemployment runs in the high 90% and where most tasks are mechanised, taxes aren’t such an issue. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/4 "2006-07-21T13:31:49Z")
As I recall, there was an episode of “The Powerpuff Girls” where the girls left Townsville for the big city. Townsville is always a wreck after they save the day but is always miraculously rebuilt in time for the next disaster. After the girls “saved the day” in the big city, leaving the city in a state of disaster, the big city mayor lit into the girls “Who’s going to clean this up? We have police and military to protect us, we don’t need you here ‘saving the day’ and leaving everything in ruins etc. etc.” It was pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/5 "2006-07-21T13:52:39Z")
In _Superman Returns_ he caught the Daily Planet globe and then, having nowhere else to set in down, let it crush a parked car. I remember picturing the car’s owner going “MY CAR! Why’d you have to put it on my CAR!?” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/6 "2006-07-21T13:56:46Z")
I forget which version of **Spiderman** this was in or if it was satire, but I remember them showing a couple of building maintenance guys grumbling about having to clean web off the outside of their building all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/7 "2006-07-21T14:02:48Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] I forget which version of **Spiderman** this was in or if it was satire, but I remember them showing a couple of building maintenance guys grumbling about having to clean web off the outside of their building all the time. [/QUOTE] It would have been a parody, since Spider-Man’s webbing - at least when it was artificial, I dont know, now that it’s from his body - dissolved on its own after an hour. ---
**Author:** ![First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@First\_Amongst\_Daves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/First_Amongst_Daves)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/8 "2006-07-21T15:32:09Z")
[QUOTE=Ranchoth] There was an old Marvel book, _Damage Control_, about a company set up exactly to deal with this sort of thing. Though, as I recall, it was run entirely by “mundane” humans. I imagine, depending on the universe, you could probably hire some lesser metahumans/mutants, and make the job go easier. (Y’know, the types who have above human abilities, but still aren’t good enough to last long as true superheroes or villains. Or just don’t want to.) [/QUOTE] In some relatively recent issues of She-Hulk, Hercules is successfully sued by a villain he beat up, and, broke, he joins Damage Control. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/9 "2006-07-21T15:41:02Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] In _Superman Returns_, Supes stops a plane from crashing and sets it down gently in a baseball stadium (in the middle of a game, I might add), after checking to make sure the passengers are okay, he flies off, _leaving the plane in the middle of the field!_ Now, even if the plane wasn’t suffering from a melted tail and missing wing, there’s no way it could have been flown out of there under it’s own power as there’s not enough room for it to take off. So how did they get the plane out of there? Not to mention how did they handle the jet fuel that was probably leaking out of the thing? Then there’s the whole matter of the game itself, how would the MLB handle that? This kind of thing _always_ seems to happen in superhero films. The superhero plunks down something he’s snatched from certain death where ever’s convienent and then leaves. Who handles that (and when you’re dealing with something like a train being set down on an interstate and unionized labor, I can imagine the bickering that would be going on to determine who did what)? And what about where the superhero and the villian proceed to beat the crap out of one another and take out half the city in the process? Who fixes all that and, more importantly, who _pays_ for all that? Given that insurance companies all have riders saying they don’t have to pay in case of war or terrorism, I’m sure that they’d add one if superheroes were around, so they wouldn’t have to pay out every time Spiderman and Green Goblin go at it. If the government picks up the tab, how freakin’ high would the taxes have to be to cover it? [/QUOTE] Well, in the case of the latest Superman movie, he’s the only super-being around, and the crash was hardly his fault. So he may have been inclined to say, “Okay, you got a problem with it? Next time I’ll let the plane crash. :mad: Also, bite me.” Not that Superman would say that, of course. But I brought the matter up in the Superman Returns review thread, as part of my contention that in this movie, at least, Superman was quite a dick. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/10 "2006-07-21T16:08:42Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] . . . I brought the matter up in the Superman Returns review thread, as part of my contention that in this movie, at least, Superman was quite a dick. [/QUOTE] [http://www.superdickery.com/](http://www.superdickery.com/) Superman has pretty much _always_ been a dick. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/11 "2006-07-21T16:16:10Z")
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor] Superman has pretty much _always_ been a dick. [/QUOTE] That site is infamous for the amount of its spyware. Please do not click the link ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/12 "2006-07-21T16:16:53Z")
Can someone remind me what happened to the wing that sheared off the plane that Supes was holding onto. Did he just let it go to crash “harmlessly” to earth? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/13 "2006-07-21T16:21:34Z")
[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus] Can someone remind me what happened to the wing that sheared off the plane that Supes was holding onto. Did he just let it go to crash “harmlessly” to earth? [/QUOTE] Both wings shear off, actually. They don’t show what happens to the wings, but presumably they crash. Implicitly (since no one ever brings it up) they don’t crash into a house or other inhabited structure. And I can’t argue with Superman deciding to ignore them in favor of catching the plane. The wings MIGHT hurt someone upon crashing; the plane damn well was going to. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/14 "2006-07-21T16:44:40Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] That site is infamous for the amount of its spyware. Please do not click the link [/QUOTE] Really? My apologies - I’ve never gotten an invasion from that site, and that’s the first time I’ve heard of it. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/15 "2006-07-21T16:52:01Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] That site is infamous for the amount of its spyware. Please do not click the link [/QUOTE] Upon further investigation, you are mistaken. The site had been hacked in February 06, and has since been cleaned up. From Superdickery’s updates page: > [@Superdickery](#): > > - As you might have noticed last week, the site was unfortunately hacked. Among other things we found was that there was a virus on the main page, all the images were disabled, and there are added links on quite a few pages. **It is safe to visit the site.** ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/16 "2006-07-21T16:53:45Z")
A gaming friend of mine always wanted to play a superhero called The Adjuster (employed by an insurance company), who would use telekinesis and force walls to prevent damage to buildings and cars and stuff. The tacet assumption in most campaigns and comics seems to be that if the heroes weren’t there doing their stuff, the damage would be much worse. There have been notable exceptions, of course, in which the amount of villainous destruction actually dropped when the superheroes stopped interfering. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/17 "2006-07-21T16:55:54Z")
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor] Upon further investigation, you are mistaken. The site had been hacked in February 06, and has since been cleaned up. From Superdickery’s updates page: **It is safe to visit the site.** [/QUOTE] Cool! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/18 "2006-07-21T16:56:51Z")
Why couldn’t Supes just come back after the crisis had past and lift the plane out of the stadium? Maybe they clean up their own messes when they get free time. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/19 "2006-07-21T17:17:46Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] Why couldn’t Supes just come back after the crisis had past and lift the plane out of the stadium? Maybe they clean up their own messes when they get free time. [/QUOTE] That’s what I assume he did. The geekiest among us note that Clark is wearing the same shirt & tie in the conference room scene as he was in the bar, so presumably it happened the same day. The near-crash happened around noon (obviously, since the bar is open, it can’t be in the morning), so he left the plane in the park to get back to work as Clark, then came back later during his coffee break to move it. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459/20 "2006-07-21T17:43:56Z")
A guy with a **Super-Pooper-Scooper[sup]TM[/sup]**? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-cleans-up-after-superheroes-open-spoilers/365459.md?page=2)