I saw Nancy Kulp “star” in a play. she played a Carol Burnett-esqe maid and was just dreadful.
My husband and I went to see Ian Anderson (of Jethro Tull) a few years ago. Ian had just released some album, and announced as the show started that we would have to listen to his new stuff before he played “any old crap”. We both fell asleep about halfway through! Finally he played Thick as a Brick and Locomotive Breath, some more new crap, and the finale was Aqualung.
Bo-ring!
I’ll be taking my son to see him next month. My son is a flute player, so I know he’ll appreciate his newer stuff. I’ll just have to try and stay awake.
I had an exchange with my guitar teacher today that made me laugh.
“I went to see Bob Dylan”
“oh, was it any good, his name popped up in [this thread]”
“he didn’t pick up a guitar the whole show, he only played the piano”
“I didn’t know he played the piano”
“he doesn’t…”
Yeah, Dylan did a keyboard show at JazzFest shortly after 9-11. It was a great show. I was standing with friends, passing a joint to and fro. In front of us were two couples; the women were chatting and the men were surveying the crowd. They were the only four people in the huge crowd totally uninterested in the music.
As I took a hit on the joint, one of the men turned around and showed me his wallet. For a second I was all “why is weird dude showing me his wallet”, then I focused on FBI. Then I stood there, shocked, afraid, stoned af. I started trembling. My friends realized what was going on and we all just froze.
Then things moved from scary to awkward. The two agents were not there to arrest people for smoking weed. He turned back around, we all looked at each other, I swallowed the roach, and it was like somebody turned the music, which had been paused, back on.
ETA: if I ever meet Mr Dylan, I’d love to tell him the stories I’ve accumulated by attending his performances.
We saw Bebel Gilberto a year or two ago and it was a mess. I don’t know if she was drunk or what but she was acting real weird and she just didn’t sound good. I had a hard time convincing my SO (who was unfamiliar with her work) that she actually put out several really excellent albums and that her live performance was… unexpected
Two friends and I, all Allman Brothers fans, went to see Richard Betts many years ago in a small venue. We had great seats but left at the intermission. It was incredibly loud and I think Dicky might have been drunk. Too bad because he can be an awesome guitar player.
So strange…I have seen him twice at small venues, and talked with him after the second time. He was really nice, and visibly touched by a compliment I gave him. A co-worker of mine saw him years ago, and actually helped him load his gear into the van afterwards. He tells the story about how nice Coco was. It’s hard for me to image him being a jerk.
Linda Lovelace.
saw a very bland group called Blue Steel open for the Eagles. What was funny was very few people knew they was an opening act but my friend and I knew. The lights go down and everyone screams for the Eagles and then the singer says “we are Blue Steel” and the crowd goes silent real quick out of shock.
I saw Shane MacGowan with The Popes–the band he threw together after the Pogues threw him out. I love The Pogues and Shane, but man was that show terrible. Shane was so drunk he could barely stand. He was holding on to the mike stand for support and mumbling out the words. The Popes played behind him with all the enthusiasm of men who hate their jobs but need the paycheck. It was depressing.
I saw Journey a couple weeks ago. The sound mix was terrible as the vocals were garbled. Schon’s guitar and Cain’s keyboards sounded perfect of course.
We left halfway through the show.
Yep, everyone I’ve ever told my story to replies with similar tales of what a great guy he is. Guess I was there for his one bad night. One year I had to choose between attending the Wheeling Blues Festival or some other activity. I chose “other” when I read Coco was playing Wheeling.
Should have offered him a hit. A Federal Blunt Inspector needs to ensure you’re smoking good weed.
You’ve said a mouthful-her act had no teeth whatsoever.
I had that same sort of problem with Bella Morte, one of my favorite not-quite-famous goth punk bands. Saw them last year in a very small venue and it was loud beyond belief, you know that distortion sound you hear in your ears when a sound is very loud and/or resonant? That’s what it sounded like. We only made it through a couple songs before we left. It occurred to me we could have listened from the sidewalk outside, but that’s not way to experience a show. 
I saw a heavy metal band perform at a theme park in Stockton during the early 80s. They didn’t play any songs from their albums— just a long improvised jazz number that went on forever and was horrible. The puppet show was fantastic, though.
I remember that band! Saw a show where they did this weird thing with dwarfs dancing around a miniature Stonehenge. Never did figure out what that was about. But they were loud.
The Monkees, LONG after they should have stopped.
And also, as a young child, Dizzy Gillespie. I was very young, and we sat up close. I was seriously freaked out by his stretched out cheeks. He also had a stage presence that came across as angry or bitter to a youngster. It was not at all pleasant and I still don’t feel fully relaxed listening to his music anymore. This is not the same concert, but you’ll get the idea.
That was after their first drummer, who bore a more-than-passing resemblance to Ed Begley, Jr., died in a bizarre gardening accident, and their second drummer choked on someone else’s vomit. However, they were never able to determine whose vomit it was, because Scotland Yard doesn’t have the facilities to - you can’t dust for vomit.