# Who ever uses the expression Significant Other ? SO is BS ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 25, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515 "2003-08-25T14:16:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/1 "2003-08-25T14:16:13Z")
I notice an awful lot of posters use the SO expression as in “significant other”. This might be almost fine WRITTEN but does anyone ever use it SPEAKING in a normal daily conversation ? Do you present your girlfriend/boyfriend as significant other ? “Tom/Jane is my SO.” Or when proposing ? “Please be my SO ?!” Or ask about someone “So how is your SO ?” ``` I know its politically correct lingo way of saying it... but it sounds awfully unnatural. Is it common usage ? In what situations ? Is this just to circumvent the possibility of offending a gay person ? Could SO be used in the plural if you have multiple "significant" lovers ? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/2 "2003-08-25T14:45:29Z")
I don’t usually use abbreviations unless I am referring to a forum name. Example: This OP should be in IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/3 "2003-08-25T14:53:23Z")
“Significant Other” is often used by anyone who is in a committed relationship with another person, and they aren’t married. For example, a couple of people have been together for several years, own a house together, but for one reason or another aren’t married yet. At that point it sometimes sounds a little silly to be “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” My mother used “significant other” in speech (not the abbreviation) when I was young (I didn’t really know why or what it meant). ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/4 "2003-08-25T15:09:15Z")
Well, I think that if you’re uncomfortable with “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, then “partner” is a better alternative. I’ve always thought that “significant other” sounded pretentions and silly. Would you call somebody “my other”? They why is it better with an adjective in front of it? The term I _really_ hate, though, is “that special someone”. I hear it on the radio all the time around St. Valentine’s Day. Aaauuuuggg! Stop it! ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/5 "2003-08-25T15:32:31Z")
> [@](#): > > but it sounds awfully unnatural. IMHO,that unnaturalness is part of the beauty of the expression. The phrase is widely used to accentuate some oddity in or about a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/6 "2003-08-25T15:39:11Z")
Is there a question with a factual answer hidden in the OP? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/7 "2003-08-25T15:41:34Z")
Actually, yea, I heard someone (don’t remember who) use it at the Dopefest we just had in Atlanta. ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/8 "2003-08-25T15:56:00Z")
I guess the factual question would be: does anyone use SO in normal conversation? In my experience, it’s done only as a joke. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/9 "2003-08-25T17:15:14Z")
In my circle of friends, we use “husband”, “wife”, “girlfriend”, “boyfriend” if we know specifically who we’re talking about. A member of an unmarried gay couple is either “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. I have a couple of gay friends, that while they aren’t legally married, they have lived together for years, wear rings, etc. Each is referred to as the other’s “partner” – “husband” for some reason doesn’t fit right, I think because it implies a “wife” which doesn’t exist. We will use “significant other” when speaking hypothetically about couples who could be any number of the terms above. In other words, if we are talking about someone who might be a “husband”, “wife”, “boyfriend”, “girlfriend”, or “partner”, and we don’t know which it is, we say “significant other” ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/10 "2003-08-25T17:22:25Z")
Oooo! I hate “partner”! That implies that we are all gay, since it’s an abreviation of “life partner”. Sure my wife will technically be my life partner, but I’ll never call her that. “Life partner” is a gay way of saying “spouse” since our government hasn’t given the gay community the “right” to legally marry yet. Calling my girl “partner” is like taking her and me over (not down) to the gay level. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be accepting of the gay community, but I’m not going to change what word **I** use for my girl just because some gay people want to be accepted by my “straight” language. My girl is either my girlfriend, lover, wife, spouse, significant other, or better half. Never my “partner.” Sorry if I sound “intolerant”. I don’t mean to be, but I don’t like to confuse people as to my sexual preference. As to the OP, do you mean do I use the word “SO”… Esss Oh…? Or “Significant Other?” I’ve used “significant other” in conversation before to describe a group of couples… “you and your significant other.” Because you don’t know if you are talking to guys, girls, married couples, gay couples, or whoever. "Significant other"works for any group of couples. The abbreviation though only works in print, IMHO… oh sorry… In My Humble Opinion. Wait… I’m writing it… IMHO is fine. ---
**Author:** ![Jake4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bc8723/32.png) [@Jake4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake4)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/11 "2003-08-25T17:42:38Z")
I’ve used and heard both ‘significant other’ and ‘SO.’ However, my long term live-in girlfriend and I have been using the term ‘domestic partner’ for a bit. We’re not married, and ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ sounds a little to immature for us committed mid-20ish types. I’ve also seen ‘Domestic Partner’ on paperwork, and used to love it when I was a kid and my dad called my mom his ‘Domestic Goddess.’ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/12 "2003-08-25T17:47:33Z")
I use SO in written text, because _all_ it signifies is a committed relationship. It says nothing about the nature of the relationship, which is often good; sometimes I just don’t know. And **prisoner6655321** , “partner” IMHO is the next best choice. “Partner” has _never_ signified “exclusively gay” to me; while the gay people I know have often used “partner” in this context, they’ve also used “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. OTOH, I know plenty of non-gay people who also use the term “partner”: people in non-traditional marriages (Wiccan handfastings, for instance), common-law marriages, etc. And of course, now that gay marriage is legal in my jurisdiction, I am seeing “husband and husband” and “wife and wife” couples. But I suspect that partner will win out over this usage of husband and wive, because it does not specify the gender of the participant. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/13 "2003-08-25T17:50:28Z")
For a long time I introduced my SO as my “Signifigant Tormentor” \ I miss him. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/14 "2003-08-25T19:15:32Z")
I say this all the time. I [buy my gasoline there](http://www.esso.com/index_flat.html). ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/15 "2003-08-25T19:46:37Z")
Funny no one said “companion”… sounds good too. “Lover” has too many connotations… House buddy too. In the end it could just be “they live togehter” for the “joined”. ---
**Author:** ![Padmaraga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f07891/32.png) [@Padmaraga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padmaraga)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/16 "2003-08-25T20:39:47Z")
I’ve never heard anyone I know use “significant other” or “SO” in conversation. I’ve only heard “partner” used when it was a gay relationship. I had a boyfriend who used to use the word “mate” whether referring to spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend - kinda reduced the relationship to the level of animals, I thought. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/17 "2003-08-25T22:08:13Z")
As a member of this board I have seen the term so much that I’ve started using it. Actually, I’m not that fond of the term and have wondered why most people look at me funny when I say it. I will now gladly drop my SO usage. :o ---
**Author:** ![xicanorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a88e57/32.png) [@xicanorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xicanorex)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-ever-uses-the-expression-significant-other-so-is-bs/197515/18 "2003-08-25T22:18:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Squink \* > \*\*IMHO,that unnaturalness is part of the beauty of the expression. The phrase is widely used to accentuate some oddity in or about a relationship. \*\* Agreed. I use it. I use if: [list=1] [li]Long time married couple that are never seen by alone by themselves, and when they are, “Hey, where is your significant other?!”[/li][li]Gay or Lesbian couple[/li][li]Unmarried couple that don’t like the word “husband” or “wife” (it’s either that or life parter)[/li][li]Long time boyfriend-girlfriend that might as well be married, but just are not.[/li][/list=1] I seen in my circle of friends use it in the same manner. XicanoreX