# Who falls more deeply in love: Men or women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121 "2014-08-21T18:39:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![timewilltell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@timewilltell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timewilltell)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121/21 "2014-08-24T03:51:06Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Oh, I’m a sexist pig, I guess. > > There’s a bit of folk wisdom that men don’t want to get married, but then when they are, they want to stay married. Women both want to get married and then want to get divorced. > > Using that as a wide-brush truism, and then using \*that \*as an crude approximation of depth of love, I chose the Percy Sledge option. When a Man Loves a Woman, can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else; he’d change the world for the good thing he’s found. If she is bad, he can’t see it, she can do no wrong; turn his back on his best friend if he put her down. Yep, how many men have told than woman they would die for them? How many women say the same thing? How many men have died physically protected their woman versus the contrary? There are not stats for this, but I think it is fairly obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121/22 "2014-08-24T03:53:23Z")
> [@timewilltell](#): > > To sum up this entire post, although there are variations on each side, women are more likely to view men as utilities than vice versa. And they tend to desire most the men that can help them in their own personal goals the most. Oh, men see women as utilities just as much as the other way around. Sure, women are in it for the money, but men are in it for the sex. When men say “I love you”, it usually means “I want to put my penis in you”. Yes, a woman will leave a man if his wallet isn’t big enough anymore. But a man will leave a woman just as quickly if there isn’t enough action in the sack. Everybody’s shallow and selfish, I guess, just in different ways. ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121/23 "2014-08-24T04:13:28Z")
A modified answer to your question: Men find it harder to fall _out_ of love. We think it should be eternal once earned and forget it requires maintenance. ---
**Author:** ![timewilltell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@timewilltell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timewilltell)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121/24 "2014-08-24T23:49:27Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Oh, men see women as utilities just as much as the other way around. Sure, women are in it for the money, but men are in it for the sex. When men say “I love you”, it usually means “I want to put my penis in you”. > > Yes, a woman will leave a man if his wallet isn’t big enough anymore. But a man will leave a woman just as quickly if there isn’t enough action in the sack. > > Everybody’s shallow and selfish, I guess, just in different ways. I’ll take your assumption at face value but then ask, which would you prefer in a lover? Your lover enjoys how your body makes them feel and the two of you experience mutual pleasure that can add to intimacy in other areas, OR your lover enjoys having a Ferrari that you bought them. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121/25 "2014-08-25T00:35:45Z")
Did I stumble in to an MRA forum? It’s a wonder guys would want to date women, with how greedy and shallow we are. > [@squeegee](#): > > Or that. But I’d think in a contested divorce, the one who files is the one who lawyered up first, and that person is probably the one who initiated the dissolution. In an uncontested divorce, sure: whoever wanted to be the petitioner gets into the statistics as the initiator. My ex was the petitioner in my divorce because we were going through mediation and verbally flipped a coin when asked who wanted to be that person. > > … > > Do you have a different statistic or study to use as a proxy for this? What _would_ tell us something about who statistically initiates in divorces? There may not be a proxy. Heck, often the people in the marriage themselves can’t truly pin down who initiated the breakdown. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-falls-more-deeply-in-love-men-or-women/696121.md?page=1)