# Who gets more action? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272 "2003-06-30T02:44:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/61 "2003-07-03T01:22:09Z")
Posted by **twickster:** > [@](#): > > The Tin Man, the Scarecrow, or the Cowardly Lion? The Tin Man. His heart is soft and that’s the only soft thing he’s got. What more could a girl ask for? Sancho Panza or Don Quixote? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/62 "2003-07-03T01:52:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrainGlutton \* > \*\* > > Sancho Panza or Don Quixote? \*\* Well, uh, I don’t think the Don even got anything off of Dulcinea beyond a few wet dreams, so I think I have to go with Sancho here. Glinda or the Wicked Witch of the West? (Not as easy a question as it might seem, my bet is WWW was getting plenty of hot monkey love…) ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/63 "2003-07-03T05:20:14Z")
Hey, we left Mr Tambo dangling! Definitely Alecto. The girl just never gives up! Megaera would grudge every single favor, and Tisiphone just gets displeased and tries to get even. As long as we’re going Greek here: Zeus or Dionysus? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/64 "2003-07-03T06:14:55Z")
_blush_ Thank you, **twickster**. I try. Re Glinda or WWW…Glinda. She must have been. She was so happy, she could barely help a fellow traveller. “Um…yeah. WHAT which are you? Teehee.” As for the monkeys…well, there are more munchkins than monkeys. As for Zeus/Dionysus…I’d say Zeus. It’s hard competing with your dad, getting it up, when you’re plying yourself with sweet wine all day long. Norm or Cliff (on “Cheers”)? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/65 "2003-07-03T19:13:57Z")
Posted by **Zoggie:** > [@](#): > > Norm or Cliff (on “Cheers”)? Cliff, I guess . . . I remember at least one occasion on the show when he got laid. Norm always turns it down when it comes along because he has a wife at home . . . but he can’t stand to touch her. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/66 "2003-07-03T19:15:28Z")
Fafhrd or the Grey Mouser? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/67 "2003-07-03T19:40:21Z")
Dumbledore or Gandalf? Only the fanfic can tell us for certain, but that would take a /lot/ of research. I shudder to think. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/68 "2003-07-03T22:06:21Z")
I’m gonna say Gandalf. You did see the size of his staff didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/69 "2003-07-03T22:42:57Z")
“The wizard’s staff has a knob on the end, knob on the end, knob on the end . . .” – Terry Pratchett ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/70 "2003-07-03T23:35:56Z")
Dumbledore or Gandalf? Dumbledore. I’m sure he’s got something going on with Minerva. I personally find Gandalf much sexier, but he doesn’t have any good prospects–everyone else in the Fellowship already has a favorite partner (Sam/Frodo; Legolas/Gimli; Merry/Pippin; Aragorn/Arwen; and Boromir’s just brooding over Gondor all the time–he’s no fun). And Saruman is impossible to put up with now that he’s taken up Orc-breeding as a hobby. Maybe Bilbo…hmm. Kirk or Riker? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/71 "2003-07-03T23:48:16Z")
Riker. Becaise == anyone but Kirk. Pat Sajak or Alex Trebek? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/72 "2003-07-04T01:12:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*Re Glinda or WWW…Glinda. She must have been. She was so happy, she could barely help a fellow traveller. “Um…yeah. WHAT which are you? Teehee.” As for the monkeys…well, there are more munchkins than monkeys. > > As for Zeus/Dionysus…I’d say Zeus. It’s hard competing with your dad, getting it up, when you’re plying yourself with sweet wine all day long. > \*\* Good point. The giggling sound have been a dead giveaway. Hell, going by that maybe she had a munchkin under her skirt the whole time (Hey…I never realized why they called them munchkins before…) I don’t know about Zeus though. I mean Dionysus had a HERD of drunk naked chicks following him where ever he went (many of them waving huge phalluses in celebration, so it doesn’t sound like alcoholic impotence was as much of a problem as it might have been). Whereas Zeus had to go to go to the tedious effort of turning himself into a swan or a golden shower (apparently, Zeus was kinky) just to get some, plus, he had to wait till Hera wasn’t looking. ---
**Author:** ![DaPearl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DaPearl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaPearl)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/73 "2003-07-04T05:37:10Z")
> [@](#): > > **Pochontas** or **Sacagawea** Definately Pochohantass, you’ve seen the Disney cartoon. Charleton Heston or Dr. Zeus? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/74 "2003-07-04T06:38:00Z")
No no no! Historically, Pocahontas was only 13 years old when John Smith was around, and a fully-grown beard-sporting John Smith getting it on with a 13-year-old Injun girl with a mohawk is just wrong. Besides, Sacagawea gave birth while she was with Louis and Clark, so we know she got laid at **least** once. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/75 "2003-07-04T16:14:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\* > Besides, Sacagawea gave birth while she was with Louis and Clark, so we know she got laid at **least** once. \*\* When did Sacagawea hang out with a couple of reporters from the Daily Planet? Oh, wait. Never mind. The Punisher or Preacher? ---
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/76 "2003-07-04T22:17:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by twickster \* > \*\*Riker. Becaise == anyone but Kirk. > > Pat Sajak or Alex Trebek? \*\* I would like to think Alex’s intellect would give him a shot, but we all know that doesn’t help put 'em in the sack. Pat wins. Carl or Lenny from the Simpsons. Also, when you give your choices, please indicate what they are known for. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/77 "2003-07-04T22:52:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyDust \* > \*\* > The Punisher or Preacher? \*\* For those of you unfamiliar with these two choices: [Information on The Punisher](http://www.thepunisher.com/artists/garth_ennis/garth_ennis.htm) [Information on Preacher - Jesse Custer](http://www.neonwheels.com/preacher/index.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/78 "2003-07-05T02:57:28Z")
Dumbledore. Gandalf hadn’t yet benefited from the discovery of penicillin. Ming the Merciless or Disco Stu? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/79 "2003-07-05T03:07:01Z")
Data or Lore? True, it seems obvious Data gets more action - he did the nasty with Tasha Yar, after all, and the Borg Queen, and it seemed like Tasha’s sister might have had a slight thing for him. The woman on that planet Data had to organize an evacuation for, back during the third season, definately wanted him. So at first it seems like Data is quite the lady’s man. On the other hand, remember that we don’t see nearly as much of Lore, and it’s a safe bet that he’s not just sitting around twiddling his thumbs whenever he’s not messing with the Enterprise-D. Further, he’s much more likely to have an actual interest in getting laid - until Data got the emotion chip fused into his positronic net in “First Contact”, he wasn’t even capable of being horny - although there’s a bit of a contradiction here, as he certainly seemed emotional and…interested…in the episode where the entire crew got drunk and he boffed Tasa. Despite the Tasha fluke, however, I’d argue that Lore was more likely to be _consistently_ capable of horniness than Data, and had the slef-confidence and manipulativeness to have a good chance of success. Unless women literally throw themselves at him, Data just doesn’t get laid, or even think about it. I doubt Lore has that problem. So, long story short, I say Lore. Agreed? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272/80 "2003-07-05T03:21:11Z")
Lore’s dismantled and Data’s still running around with the emotion chip. I say Data. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-gets-more-action/185272.md?page=5)