# Who has baby Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224 "2018-12-16T15:31:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/1 "2018-12-16T15:31:04Z")
I was awakened by a commotion. Cats are on my bed, no wait, they are on my pillow. One claw dangerously close to my left eyebrow. Now there are 2 reasons why my cats do this: starvating hunger or an extra turd in the cat box. Neither of which my sleep deprived brain cared to hear about. Nothing doing but I get up and go see. I am down the stairs stumbling because cats are circling my ankles. The noise coming from them is disturbing, almost a warning. “Hooman Mom, don’t go in there, don’t do it, DON’T GO IN THE LIVING ROOM!” I have a nativity set. I am not religious, but my granddaughters gave it to me. They get a large charge out of it set up on a little table. It has snow and Santa Claus in it too ( don’t ask). The cats draw my attention to the set up. I look at it thinking they’ve knocked it over, again. Nope, everything looks right, Mary with her outstretched hands standing by Joseph. The 3 wise men and Santa are there. Sheep and donkey in place. Uh-oh! No baby Jesus in the manger. WTH? He’s about 2 inches long, naked. (Granddaughter says he needs pampers on, I digress). I looked around, and under the table, around the tree. No baby Jesus. The cats are in a fever pitch. Ok, ok. I will get their food, that’d shut them up. That works. I make coffee. I am thinking, how did baby Jesus get out of the manger? Any animal would of at least knocked Mary over. Everything is upright. The stupid shepherd’s hooks are even upright. Oh, goody! A new Christmas mystery. ‘Baby Jesus has absconded’ A real ‘Who-done-it’. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/2 "2018-12-16T15:34:15Z")
It was the mice, they conspired together thinking this would make you kick the cats out. \*I learned this from watching cartoons. \* ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/3 "2018-12-16T15:40:34Z")
But of course he’s not there, he hasn’t been born yet! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/4 "2018-12-16T16:03:26Z")
Keep an eye on the litter box. ---
**Author:** ![bizerta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@bizerta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizerta)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/5 "2018-12-16T16:19:48Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > It was the mice, they conspired together thinking this would make you kick the cats out. > > \*I learned this from watching cartoons. \* I heard that there was a trio of vision-impaired rodents seeking revenge because you removed their posterior appendages. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/6 "2018-12-16T17:25:59Z")
while cats like to bat stuff around they will also pick up their toy and drop it near where they want to play. They like to bat stuff under things so they can try to retrieve them. Baby Jesus is under the couch. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/7 "2018-12-16T17:49:08Z")
ICE. I mean, check under the fridge -cats like to lose things under there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/8 "2018-12-16T18:03:29Z")
Tell a door-to-door ministry that you need help finding Jesus. When they show up, put them to work. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/9 "2018-12-16T18:12:08Z")
I found a small piece of glittery snow in a cat bed. Hmmm? They are acting a bit skeevy. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/10 "2018-12-16T18:19:31Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Keep an eye on the litter box. Not cat related, but ever see a string of tinsel hanging from a dog’s butthole? I have, more than once! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/11 "2018-12-16T18:50:06Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > while cats like to bat stuff around they will also pick up their toy and drop it near where they want to play. They like to bat stuff under things so they can try to retrieve them. > > Baby Jesus is under the couch. Nope, not under the couch or chairs, or on a window sill. I have decided it’s upstairs somewhere. That’s my next search area. I am expanding my grid. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/12 "2018-12-16T18:53:51Z")
Does Herod have an alibi? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/13 "2018-12-16T18:56:53Z")
> [@lingyi](#): > > Not cat related, but ever see a string of tinsel hanging from a dog’s butthole? I have, more than once! :eek: No, but my niece’s dog once ate an entire bag of glitter, which made for sparkly deposits in the winter snow. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/14 "2018-12-16T19:10:57Z")
These 2 cats are not the toy playing type. They turn their velvety noses up, at even catnip filled toys. But…They have been pissed, royally, since Thanksgiving. It didnt help that I put up Xmas decor right after. I think they murdered baby Jesus and hid his little nekid body. Maybe in 3 days he’ll rise again. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/15 "2018-12-16T19:26:17Z")
I’m sure your Baby Jesus will turn up in the most mysterious of ways. We recently found our Baby Jesus on the floor and now he has no arms! The Christmas monkey is missing altogether. I think the the tiger and the fake Hummel girl are in on it. We have an eclectic nativity. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/16 "2018-12-16T19:56:04Z")
The cats are acting all non-chalant. They are trying to convince me the dogs did it. Dog Yorkie ain’t got enough brains for the operation. Dog Beagle is too fat to reach up there. I’m beginning to think baby Jesus may have been raptured. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/17 "2018-12-16T19:58:04Z")
A cat’s view of Christmas and Santa Claus [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqA2qAWS-3M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqA2qAWS-3M) “It’s dumb.” “It’s not dumb” “IT’S DUMMMB!” BTW, do cat’s fetch their favorite toy(s)? Maybe if you ask they’ll bring it to you? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/18 "2018-12-16T20:06:10Z")
IDK, my cats wouldnt fetch anything. They’re not big on following orders. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/19 "2018-12-16T20:51:21Z")
Are you suggesting some sort of Catechism? ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/20 "2018-12-16T21:34:28Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Are you suggesting some sort of Catechism? I see what you did there. In the same vein, hopefully this doesn’t end in catastrophe for Baby Jesus or for those felines with cattitude. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224.md?page=2)