# Who has baby Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224 "2018-12-16T15:31:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/21 "2018-12-16T22:03:09Z")
You’re not supposed to put the Baby Jesus figurine into the manger until Christmas Day. Canvass the other Hoo-mans in the household about whether they’re aware of this. Focus your investigations on those who are. (Or drop the investigations and trust that the perp will put Him back in ten days.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/22 "2018-12-16T23:28:53Z")
No more hoomans but Mr.Wrekker on the place. I doubt he even knows I have a baby Jesus. Or, maybe even if I have cats, come to think of it. I looked all upstairs. Shook the covers on my bed. No baby Jesus. i’ll probably find him in the middle of the night when I step on his sharp little nekid self. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/23 "2018-12-17T02:44:53Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > No more hoomans but Mr.Wrekker on the place. I doubt he even knows I have a baby Jesus. If he finds out, claim it was Immaculate. ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/24 "2018-12-17T04:01:46Z")
Do you sleepwalk? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/25 "2018-12-17T05:12:19Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > If he finds out, claim it was Immaculate. Very funny! He’ll never buy that, he’s Baptist. But I will be forgiven. No I don’t sleep walk, I just don’t sleep very much. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/26 "2018-12-17T06:07:20Z")
If, on Christmas Eve, you find your cats kneeling in front of the couch or the fridge–I’d check under the couch or fridge, for Baby Jesus. If your cats are kneeling in front of the fire in the fireplace, well… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/27 "2018-12-17T07:25:39Z")
If they kneel anywhere I am calling for an exorcism. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2018, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/28 "2018-12-18T21:21:38Z")
Heh. Years ago, some kids from my high school took Baby Jesus from the outdoor, life-sized City Hall nativity scene. They left a note behind, with pasted words cut from the newspaper, reading, WE GOT THE KID. LEAVE $1000 IN UNMARKED BILLS HERE BY 5PM TOMORROW, OR YOU’LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. After a good laugh, and no ransom money having changed hands, they returned Baby Jesus. The holy babe was then chained in place by no-fun City Hall bureaucrats. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2018, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/29 "2018-12-18T21:29:11Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > But of course he’s not there, he hasn’t been born yet! That actually sounds like a cool tradition. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Does Herod have an alibi? **snerk** You don’t see many Herods in nativity sets. Of course, he’d have to be set up far away from the manger. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2018, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/30 "2018-12-19T07:06:18Z")
[Possibly relevant image?](https://i.redd.it/zxovejb9d1521.png) Golden Retriever being “dog shamed” with a placard reading “I ate the baby Jesus from our Christmas Nativity Scene … not looking forward to the Second Coming”. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2018, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/31 "2018-12-19T08:23:25Z")
_I don’t care if it rains or freezes, Long as I get my baby Jesus, Back from where the cats put my Lord. He’s so small, they thought him a toy, Played with him, but boy, oh boy, I hope my cats forgot him and got bored._ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2018, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/32 "2018-12-22T20:58:00Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > **snerk** You don’t see many Herods in nativity sets. Of course, he’d have to be set up far away from the manger. Herod’s palace is a relatively common sight, at least in Spain. Mom’s nativity actually has a Herod too (actually a Julius Cesar from some Asterix movie, courtesy of McD). ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2018, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/33 "2018-12-22T22:00:24Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > _I don’t care if it rains or freezes, > Long as I get my baby Jesus, > Back from where the cats put my Lord. > He’s so small, they thought him a toy, > Played with him, but boy, oh boy, > I hope my cats forgot him and got bored._ Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/34 "2018-12-23T12:40:00Z")
any updates? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/35 "2018-12-23T15:27:18Z")
Yes. Baby Jesus has been spotted. He’s down between the washer/dryer in the laundry room. I haven’t retrieved him yet. The laundry is where my cats hang out alot. They love the dryer. They have a bed on top of it. They were definitely the thieves. Caught, nearly redhanded. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/36 "2018-12-23T15:36:46Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > The holy babe was then chained in place by no-fun City Hall bureaucrats. How dumb. If the chains are visible that would be an unsettling image. If they drilled into the back of His little head to install an eyebolt, that’s worse. Besides, once the Savior is secured Mary or one of the three wise guys will be next. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/37 "2018-12-23T15:47:46Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Yes. Baby Jesus has been spotted. He’s down between the washer/dryer in the laundry room. I haven’t retrieved him yet. The laundry is where my cats hang out alot. They love the dryer. They have a bed on top of it. They were definitely the thieves. Caught, nearly redhanded. Don’t blame the cats so quickly, maybe the dogs are playing dumb so you don’t blame these kind of things on them! Hmm… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/38 "2018-12-23T15:57:22Z")
They don’t have to play dumb. They’re not exactly geniuses.( love them regardless) These cats have super powers. They’ve been trying to convince me for days the dogs did it. I ain’t buying it. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/39 "2018-12-23T17:44:29Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Nope, not under the couch or chairs, or on a window sill. I have decided it’s upstairs somewhere. That’s my next search area. I am expanding my grid. nm ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224/40 "2018-12-23T17:52:42Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Yes. Baby Jesus has been spotted. He’s down between the washer/dryer in the laundry room. I haven’t retrieved him yet. The laundry is where my cats hang out alot. They love the dryer. They have a bed on top of it. They were definitely the thieves. Caught, nearly redhanded. Between the washer and the dryer? It’s obvious that they kidnapped him, and asked a lot of questions, and wanted him to come clean. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-baby-jesus/826224.md?page=3)