# Who has better orgasms? Men or women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 12, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128 "2013-12-12T02:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/61 "2013-12-13T22:36:16Z")
> [@Mr\_Quatro](#): > > I did have a woman **curl her toes** so bad after sex one time that I had to get a pan of hot water to put them in to get them back to normal šŸ˜‰ Are you sure she wasnā€™t just wearing pantyhose? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/62 "2013-12-13T22:47:33Z")
Man, voted woman. The effect of orgasm on my girlfriend is obviously, hugely greater than mine is for me. I love sex with her, but thereā€™s no comparison in the physical impact. ---
**Author:** ![Swamp\_Adder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@Swamp\_Adder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swamp_Adder)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/63 "2013-12-14T00:49:10Z")
Huh, Iā€™m surprised so many people are voting women. Iā€™m a virgin, so I have no ā€œdirect experienceā€, but I was always under the impression that more testosterone -\> more intense orgasm. Anecdotally, I know a trans guy who has said that after he started taking T, his orgasms got way better. So thereā€™s that. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/64 "2013-12-14T02:29:24Z")
> [@Swamp\_Adder](#): > > Huh, Iā€™m surprised so many people are voting women. Iā€™m a virgin, so I have no ā€œdirect experienceā€, but I was always under the impression that more testosterone -\> more intense orgasm. Not even close. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/65 "2013-12-14T05:26:44Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Very good point, **Shakes**! > > Often, my wife tells me to go for it, iow, she wonā€™t get anymore out of it than #1 or a mild #2, so just let go and focus on my climax. Thus, I always get to have at least a good orgasm. > > When she is in the mood, I ā€œplayā€ a lot with her. Take my time, really focus on her pleasure. Thatā€™s when her #3s happen. > > Every now and then, we both have extremely powerful Os together, THAT is awesome! But, rare. And, unlike a Penthouse Forum letter, I canā€™t predict it or force it. > > So, for volume and regularity, we men have it. For ultra intense pleasure, from time to time, women have it. > > Obviously, this is very much YMMV Another way to have a #3 happen is to not do it for several days. When the wife comes home after seeing her parents for a week a so, the first time is magic! ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/66 "2013-12-14T12:10:09Z")
No contest. Women can have multiple and continuous orgasms. Beats my one a day. When I was young I could have a couple, but that was long ago. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/67 "2013-12-15T05:22:56Z")
Guy here. No contest - womenā€™s are more intense and longer lasting. Add to that multiples and it really is no contest. But, I donā€™t mind mine either. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/68 "2013-12-15T06:39:34Z")
Thereā€™s no comparison. Male orgasm is a little skyrocket that goes up and poof, thatā€™s it. Female orgasm is the wild, free surging of the endless ocean. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/69 "2013-12-15T21:03:15Z")
Thereā€™s a major paradox here. If women have better orgasms, why donā€™t they work harder to get some? Young and attractive women will sometimes go months without sex, when they obviously could get some with minimal effort. If itā€™s really that pleasurable, how can they avoid it like that? ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/70 "2013-12-15T21:25:32Z")
From my understanding, women have better orgasms. Itā€™s the trade-off they make for having to deal with the pain of childbirth. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/71 "2013-12-15T21:47:49Z")
Guy here. I think the analysis here has been kinda flawed across the board (no offense!). I think there are both errors with respect to women and errors with respect to men: **Errors with respect to women** Instead of talking about your average women, people seem to be focusing on the most orgasmic women (and at the same time, not focusing on the most orgasmic men). Itā€™s true that some women have mind-blowing, multiple orgasms. So do some men. My guess is that women with ultra-orgasms are more common than men with ultra-orgasms. But my guess is also that the _average_ woman also has less frequent and pleasurable orgasms than the average man. It seems obviously true that women have more sexual dysfunctions than men, including: 1. Never having had an orgasm at all. Sadly, not super rare. 2. Never having had an orgasm via her partner (only masturbation works). 3. Only able to have an orgasm through oral or handjobs, never (or rarely) intercourse. This is a _big_ disadvantage that a lot of women have. 4. Can orgasm but has a hard time cumming, takes work. I think another assumption that seems in play here is that multiple orgasms are automatically or usually mind-blowing. According to my experience, that is not always or even usually the case. Sometimes the orgasms come (pun intended) easily, but they donā€™t seem like all that big a deal. So it is tough to assess the average womanā€™s orgasm level, whereas it is pretty easy to understand the average manā€™s: pretty damn good. Yes, men can have sexual dysfunctions, but that usually seems to come from a definite problem in the equipment. Whereas a significant percentage of women seem just not ā€œbuiltā€ to have great, consistent orgasms. **Errors with respect to men** I think the level of menā€™s orgasms gets downplayed. Men definitely can have mind-blowing, full-body orgasms. And multiple orgasms, too. Men also have some special advantages. For most guys, if you donā€™t cum for several days, you build up a ā€œsupplyā€ with which you can do some pretty special things. Different levels of fluid can produce different sensations. For example, in addition to being full, cumming with almost nothing left can be incredibly intense, too. Moreover, the physical and psychological pleasure of pumping a body fluid into another human being is not to be discounted. Although the refractory period can be seen as a disadvantage, I think it is also an advantage at the same time. Having boundaries to oneā€™s ability to orgasm and waiting to build up to go again can make the pleasure more, well, pleasurable. As I said above, according to my experience, there are women that seem to cum very easily, one time after another, and it seems good but not great. So, at the end of the day, I think itā€™s a tough question to answer, but I think men actually have the advantage _on average._ I think women who have really, really great orgasms are more common than men, but among those ā€œhigh-achievingā€ men and women, I think itā€™s hard to tell who is experiencing more pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/72 "2013-12-15T21:53:08Z")
More experimentation! ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/73 "2013-12-15T22:21:34Z")
Guy here, I have noticed with age that my climaxes contiued to get more intense until about my mide 50ā€™s. Each decade prior to that was a marked increase in intensity. 65 now and still have good intensity but it seems not quite like my early 50ā€™s where it seemed to peak. I had about a 5 year span where I was growling like a lion and making more noise than any woman I have ever know. Then again it might have been the company I was keeping then, who knows? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/74 "2013-12-15T23:48:12Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Thereā€™s a major paradox here. If women have better orgasms, why donā€™t they work harder to get some? Young and attractive women will sometimes go months without sex, when they obviously could get some with minimal effort. If itā€™s really that pleasurable, how can they avoid it like that? DIY, I assume. Amiright? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/75 "2013-12-16T00:17:38Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > DIY, I assume. Amiright? I thought the acronym was DATY. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/76 "2013-12-16T00:32:47Z")
Ever heard of the myth of [Teiresias](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teiresias)? _I have crossed between the poles And for me thereā€™s no mystery Once a man, like the sea I raged Once a woman, like the earth I gave But there is in fact more earth than sea_ ā€”Genesis ā€œGod created sexual desire in ten parts, then gave nine parts to women.ā€ ā€”attributed to Ź»AlÄ« ibn AbÄ« į¹¬Älib ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/77 "2013-12-16T00:49:43Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I thought the acronym was DATY. I thought it was DATO. šŸ˜• ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/78 "2013-12-16T01:02:40Z")
> [@DataX](#): > > I have wondered if it feels similar to a when I guy cums without ejaculating. This has only happened to me a few times, and while novel - and still pleasant - the lack of fluid made it probably 1/5 as pleasant. Learn something new everyday. I had no idea you guys could cum without ejaculating. > [@Cerealbox](#): > > And as far as that fluid thing is - itā€™s all in your head. Ask anyone whoā€™s had a vasectomy. Orgasm pleasure has nothing to do with fluid. Ok waitaminute now: if a man gets a vasectomy, he no longer releases fluid upon climax?? I didnā€™t realize thatā€¦ > [@Habeed](#): > > Thereā€™s a major paradox here. If women have better orgasms, why donā€™t they work harder to get some? Young and attractive women will sometimes go months without sex, when they obviously could get some with minimal effort. If itā€™s really that pleasurable, how can they avoid it like that? As a young and attractive woman, I would often go long spells without sex and would never just go out and get some with some random guy. Why? I wouldnā€™t enjoy it. For sex to be mind-blowing for me, I have to have a _major_ connection with my partner. And I voted that women have better orgasms, mostly because of the duration/quantity. I have multiples frequently, and as described by others, my first is a build up, second is off the charts, and by #3 and beyond they are running together and Iā€™m getting tired. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/79 "2013-12-16T01:50:20Z")
Based on the externally observable phenomena, Iā€™d have to say women. As much as I enjoy my orgasms, my body doesnā€™t spasm uncontrollably, etc. There are some things I donā€™t think can be faked, and others that there is no point in faking. Iā€™m confident Iā€™m not being deluded. Thereā€™s something great about the finality of a male orgasm: itā€™s complete satisfaction (for now, anyway). But I just donā€™t think it compares to what women experience, if their reactions are any guide. My experience divides into two parts: before I figured things out, and after. Before, my orgasms were definitely better. After I finally clued myself in, all the women I had sex with ended up reacting in pretty much the same way most of the time (though getting there could vary considerably). The clue is a very simple one: make sure she gets there before I do. Iā€™m also the kind where the first is usually the best for me, whereas I think second or third rounds, or even the round the next day, tends to be better for more women. Iā€™ve been monogamous for 27 years now, though, so my data on other women is dated. BTW, I donā€™t know if my experience is typical, but as I get older, I last longer, and the longer buildup leads to a better orgasm. So, fewer Oā€™s, but better ones. Hereā€™s another tip for any youngsters tuning in: pick the right partner, and even if sex starts out great, it can keep getting better for a decade or more, and stay really good. The quantity drops, but the quality sure doesnā€™t have to. Weā€™re in our 50ā€™s. I expect things to change as we age, but Iā€™m hopeful that sex will continue to be a great experience we share. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/80 "2013-12-16T01:52:09Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > Ok waitaminute now: if a man gets a vasectomy, he no longer releases fluid upon climax?? I didnā€™t realize thatā€¦ I didnā€™t notice any difference after my vasectomy, other than the relief of us both not having to worry about birth control, which improved things considerably. Plus, the gratitude factor was nice! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128.md?page=5)