# Who has better orgasms? Men or women? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 12, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128 "2013-12-12T02:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/81 "2013-12-16T02:06:23Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Guy here. I think the analysis here has been kinda flawed across the board (no offense!). I think there are both errors with respect to women and errors with respect to men: > > **Errors with respect to women** > > It seems obviously true that women have more sexual dysfunctions than men, including: > > 1. Never having had an orgasm via her partner (only masturbation works). > > . I went out for a while with a girl like that. For her it was like a mental block but didn’t stop her trying though. Seemed like she could get almost to the brink but couldn’t quite get there and damn near killed me a few times trying. As far as the actual question goes, I can’t see how you could get any kind of real answer without hooking a bunch of people up to brain monitors while they orgasm ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/82 "2013-12-16T02:18:05Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > There’s a major paradox here. If women have better orgasms, why don’t they work harder to get some? Young and attractive women will sometimes go months without sex, when they obviously could get some with minimal effort. If it’s really that pleasurable, how can they avoid it like that? Because sexual desire isn’t the same thing as sexual pleasure. Just because someone enjoys something when it’s happening doesn’t mean that they have a strong drive to get it. I recall reading how that’s demonstrated in some forms of clinical depression; a patient will still enjoy a pleasure like food if someone brings it to them, but they can’t make themselves care enough to go and get food themselves. The pleasure of anticipation and the pleasure of actually doing something are separate things. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/83 "2013-12-16T07:26:19Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Because sexual desire isn’t the same thing as sexual pleasure. Just because someone enjoys something when it’s happening doesn’t mean that they have a strong drive to get it. > > I recall reading how that’s demonstrated in some forms of clinical depression; a patient will still enjoy a pleasure like food if someone brings it to them, but they can’t make themselves care enough to go and get food themselves. The pleasure of anticipation and the pleasure of actually doing something are separate things. Not sure if that fully explains it. Obviously, attractive young women will have men, uh, sniffing around as it were. It’s more like women don’t have the drive to get the sex, _and_, the thought of sex with strange men they don’t know is revolting. That would be analogous to offering a bowl of maggots to the clinically depressed patient. Women, apparently, only find men attractive if they pass various tests. Women will accept “pre-qualified” men that other women have throughly tested, of course, which would explain why they will sleep with rock stars and famous people they have just met. (also, fame may create a mental sense that you “know” that person.) ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/84 "2013-12-16T07:31:33Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > There’s a major paradox here. If women have better orgasms, why don’t they work harder to get some? Young and attractive women will sometimes go months without sex, when they obviously could get some with minimal effort. If it’s really that pleasurable, how can they avoid it like that? Seeking sex is not the same thing as having orgasms. I’ve had several today, and I have been alone all day. ---
**Author:** ![Armored\_Diplomacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@Armored\_Diplomacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armored_Diplomacy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/85 "2013-12-17T09:00:46Z")
Actually, it’s about even. Scientific research into this has been carried out since the late 1960s. Here’s an interesting article about it in Psychology Today. > **[Male and Female Orgasm: Not So Different?](https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/body-sense/201004/male-and-female-orgasm-not-so-different)** > > The experience of orgasm for men and women is very similar. Also, to everyone talking about multiple orgasms; men are capable of them too, it’s a matter of learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm. All a guy has to do is strengthen his PC muscle via kegels and learn the right time to squeeze. ---
**Author:** ![Armored\_Diplomacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@Armored\_Diplomacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armored_Diplomacy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/86 "2013-12-17T09:18:30Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > Hmm, I dunno. For those of us guys here who are capable of having more than one orgasm back-to-back, all of us would probably admit that any O’s after the first are undoubtedly more powerful and pleasurable than the initial go-around. If that same pattern of heightened intensity carries over to the multiple-orgasmic female, and then you carry that out to five-ten orgasms in succession…shit, I’d probably be on the fuckin’ floor. > > So yeah, as a man, I think it’s safe to say that women take this one just because they can experience more than one orgasm in quick succession. > > Then again, maybe not. Women do seem to be far less sexually _motivated_ than men, so if they’re really deriving all of this superior pleasure from their orgasms, then why aren’t they out there trying to experience this feeling as much as possible? It’s seems as if it’s always men, after all, who are the ones constantly trying to get themselves off. > > Interesting question in any case. First off, as I already said, the male and female orgasm are actually very similar. But even if the female orgasm was better, there would still be a very rational explanation - men tend to have a higher libido (obviously there are plenty of exceptions, but this is the usual case). Men just want sex more. And it does make evolutionary sense. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/87 "2013-12-17T09:20:05Z")
> [@Armored\_Diplomacy](#): > > Actually, it’s about even. Scientific research into this has been carried out since the late 1960s. Here’s an interesting article about it in Psychology Today. > > [Male and Female Orgasm: Not So Different? | Psychology Today](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/body-sense/201004/male-and-female-orgasm-not-so-different) > > **Also, to everyone talking about multiple orgasms; men are capable of them too, it’s a matter of learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm. All a guy has to do is strengthen his PC muscle via kegels and learn the right time to squeeze.** Any danger of a link to how to do that?🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Armored\_Diplomacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@Armored\_Diplomacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Armored_Diplomacy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/88 "2013-12-17T11:05:15Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > Any danger of a link to how to do that?🆒 Here’s one article about it: > **[Home](https://revolutionarylifestyledesign.com/)** > > Learn how to play and win the game of life through battle tested, hyper-applicable, self improvement strategies and tactics. Here’s one of many links. Just Google “male multiple orgasm” or “dry orgasm” and you’ll get a wealth of info. There have even been a few books written as how-to guides on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/89 "2013-12-17T17:31:18Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > There’s a major paradox here. If women have better orgasms, why don’t they work harder to get some? Young and attractive women will sometimes go months without sex, when they obviously could get some with minimal effort. If it’s really that pleasurable, how can they avoid it like that? In my experience: Because guys always cum. There is always a reward for risky behavior. And lets face it, random hookups with strangers is risky behavior. That’s what you get for “minimal effort” is a random hookup with a stranger. I don’t necessarily need to feel some sort of emotional connection with my partner/hookup/whathaveyou, but if there is a connection, then it seems like the guy has a vested interest or at least gives half a fuck if the woman he’s banging gets off as well. In my experience, in general, I have not been with a hookup where I got off. I find them so dissatisfying and disappointing that I just can’t be bothered anymore. Why shave and get all tarted up and turned on and nekkid and sticky and then have nothing to show for it? Might as well stay home with B.O.B – at least that’s assured if not totally guaranteed. TL;DR: I think the risk-reward ratio is different for men than for women. I have to take a risk that random hookup might be a woman-hater who gets off on beating up women. I have to take the risk of pregnancy. We both take the risk of STDs. I take the risk that I am with a person who does not give a shit that he is not familiar with me, nor with what I like, nor with what gets me off. And some dudes, especially young, drunk dudes, cannot or will not follow simple directions. And many dudes simply do not care. So I think the reason a lot of women require an emotional connection is just so the partner they are with cares enough to at least make a little bit of effort. And, also in my experience, my success at getting men off is near 100%. My success at men getting me off is probably closer to 25-30% – and the successes were with dudes with whom I shared a connection, and had a relationship. So why the hell would I go out there seeking random hookups when I’m well aware that most likely, there is nothing, or not much, in it for me? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/90 "2013-12-17T18:09:05Z")
> [@Cerealbox](#): > > I remember having looked that up after him telling me that and - while exceedingly rare - cumming yourself unconscious (and not just sleepy) is a thing that exists in the literature and it did look like it was all women being reported. So there’s that. (raises hand) Um, I’ve done this to another girl once. It is a bit scary to witness, although there were no aftereffects when she woke up. My impression is that women’s orgasms are far better than men’s, but there is no way to really judge quantifiably. Even tests which measure muscle contraction strength and duration (which I have read, thanks) don’t tell you how it feels for each individual. Transsexual women who undergo surgery can have multiple orgasms. It’s uncommon, but happens. The ones I have personally interviewed say that even their best female orgasm they’ve had wasn’t as intense as their typical male orgasm, but that it lasted much longer, involved more of the body, and unanimously they have told me it’s more “overall satisfying.” However, this cannot in any way be extended to women, since a transsexual woman is not nearly the same from a physical nerve standpoint down there. Transsexual men often report very nice orgasms - the ones I’ve researched say that not only is it more powerful than their female orgasms, but they are able to have multiples. A rare few transmen see their clitoris enlarge so much that they can actually, with a little help and positioning and lots of lube, have penetrative sex with them. One transman described it as this: “you know how sensitive your clit is? Pretend it’s 4 inches long and the whole thing is sensitive and you’re rubbing the entire length inside a hot chick. It feels like you’re actually in heaven or losing your mind or something.” This transman reported passing out and flattening their partner a few times. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/91 "2013-12-18T15:07:21Z")
**Aeschines** , thank you for your well-thought-out post. Along the same lines (and from my experience), I would posit that the “ceiling” for orgasmic experience - the best posssible outcome for a majority of people - is definitely higher for women, but the “floor” - in this case, a below-average but reasonably expectable outcome - is higher for men. Most experienced men have seen women hit the ceiling, so to speak, a number of times, and tend to judge female experience from that. Most experienced women have had their share of “floor” experiences - where absolutely nothing was clicking - but haven’t really seen the converse from their male partners with anywhere near the frequency. Just my $.02. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Quatro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@Mr\_Quatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Quatro)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/92 "2013-12-18T19:06:59Z")
> [@Armored\_Diplomacy](#): > > Actually, it’s about even. Scientific research into this has been carried out since the late 1960s. Here’s an interesting article about it in Psychology Today. > > [Male and Female Orgasm: Not So Different? | Psychology Today](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/body-sense/201004/male-and-female-orgasm-not-so-different) > > Also, to everyone talking about multiple orgasms; men are capable of them too, it’s a matter of learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm. All a guy has to do is strengthen his PC muscle via kegels and learn the right time to squeeze. It probably really is about even, but in regards to multiple orgasms … I don’t see how a man can have them without something coming out of the penis at the same time. I can certainly enjoy myself with the weight lifter secret of stopping right before it ejaculates and it even feels very good, but it does not last. Resulting in the term blue balls … if a woman stops right before she has an orgasm surely that doesn’t feel good either, but it doesn’t result in blue balls which can become very painful. This has been a real eye opener with the women winning hands down (pun) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128/93 "2013-12-18T20:13:47Z")
I was thinking about this some more. About 15 years ago i had a girl who was basicaly a sex busy. Not great in bed and not all that great looking. Not bad either. I always had the best most intense orgasms with her for some reason. The only way I could get off with her was to put myself in this zone, once I started to get into orgasm mode it would take several minutes of really forcing myself into this “zone” or I would loose the erection and be done. I found after several minutes of being in the zone when the orgasm finaly did happen it was a full body mind blowing experience. I joke that I would growl like a lion and I have no idea why because I tend to be on the quiet side. It used to scare me a bit as I was never one for excersize and as a smoker I was always worried about a heart attack. The final approach usually involved about 10 min of hard fast banging. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-has-better-orgasms-men-or-women/676128.md?page=4)