Every person has the potential to do whatever they want. Someone who chooses the easy way out is in no way suffering more, or less equipped to endure, or any other rot. They just decided to give up. They weren’t forced to give up. They didn’t give up because they didn’t have What It Takes ™ to go on. They made a choice.
Suicidal Ideation needs to be more often presented as a symptom. Young people should be taught that thinking about harming yourself is a symptom just as a sore throat is a symptom and not a romantic sign that you’re depressed enough to be cool.
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Let’s see: people have the potential to do whatever, yet suicidal ideation is a symptom. Do people choose their symptoms? No. People are not all given the same tools for survival. Many psychiatric disorders have a genetic component, and many are highly linked to suicidal behavior.
I’ve contemplated it not in the sense that “Man, my life sucks, I want to end it,” but more along the lines of “I wonder what it would be like/how I would do it/what would drive me to do it” and so on, as well as thinking how and why other people come to decide that it’s a good solution.
People don’t choose their eye color either. Nor do they choose their IQ or hand eye coordination. Everyone has the potential to take what the crap shoot of sexual reproduction gave them and make it something meaningful. Some people have to deal with depression in that mix. Some have to deal with being born deaf or with missing limbs. All of these people have the potential to lead meaningful even inspirational lives.
Yup not everybody starts with the same basic equipment. That does not mean that you get a “Get Out of Life Free” card if you are born with a prediliction for depression. We don’t choose our symptoms but we do choose how we treat them. We don’t choose depression but we do choose whether it controls us or we control it.
So many excellent points have been made in this thread, I can hardly hope to add to them. Although I would like to emphasize what Degrance has said: being depressed is not simply an aspect of someone’s personality. It is a disease, an illness which is thankfully treatable. It is also so wretchedly misrepresented in literature and popular belief. We love to link depression with intelligence, creativity, artistry, etc. This is a load of crap. I’ve been battling depression for as long as I can remember. There is nothing honorable or romantic or “cool” about it. It sucks, hardcore. It’s an insidious thief that robs you of every bit of joy or excitement that life has to offer, and worse still it comes from inside your own head, where fighting it quite literally means fighting your own thought-processes.
Ugh! I just hate that sort of teenage-angst mentality: “The world is black, I hate my parents” bullshit that I actually hear rational adults buying into. I have personally contemplated suicide at length, and it was only through tons of help via friends, family, professionals, and medication that I was finally able to stop thinking that way. Even now I have bad moments, when things go wrong, and I feel alone and helpless, and start thinking I just can’t deal with this anymore, and offing myself would save me and everyone else a lot of trouble. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I’d never do it, because no matter what, some part of me always believes that there’s always another way, and while there’s life, there’s hope. Once you’re dead, you get no more chances. But I’ve been there, and I understand completely the sort of thoughts and emotions that would drive someone to commit suicide. Such is the nature of this disease- it is a part of me, but it is not who I am, if that makes sense. It’s something I have to struggle with, but it does not define me as a human being, anymore than having diabetes would personally define someone who has it.
And no one is “born unequipped”. If you make into this world, you’ve made it a long way already. No sense in throwing in the towel when you’ve come so far.
I have trouble answering this as well. When I’m depressed my thoughts are like yours, not so much “I want to kill myself” as “would it be so bad if ___ happened, and I died?” The lack of contemplating that demise on my own is another sign of my commitment issues, surely
I’ll admit there have been times when I’ve considered it, usually while incredibly depressed(I believe it was because of extended umemployment at the time that was making me feel less then chipper about my life). I never actually attempted it, for a myriad of reasons.
I’ve contemplated homocide many times, but suicide has never really seemed like a good idea to me, especially not now. I think I’m getting the hang of this whole life business. 90% of it is smiling and nodding.
I contemplated suicide, and I tried to figure out how much it would hurt to cut my wrists. That led to three weeks of cutting, cause it really is addictive, and deciding that it would be too messy. I figured out aspyxiation, and I was on to the final step of trying to figure out how to NOT have people sad when I died. Couldn’t figure that one out, and then the wellbutrin kicked in, thank god. The cuts are almost gone, and I haven’t pondered a plastic bag since.
