# Who hasn't had a first? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324 "2001-07-13T04:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/21 "2001-07-13T14:59:29Z")
Given that **Ross** is British, I assumed it was a reference to Cliff Richard. Not a virgin, I’m afraid. Though I was older than quite a few of the so-far referenced ages when I “became a man” 😉 pan ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/22 "2001-07-13T15:27:07Z")
Roll call? “Here!” What I hate is when a man finds out, and instantly assumes you’ve been saving yourself for _him_… I used to get female friends coming to me and telling me all their problems and secrets… They seemed to think that I was morally stronger than they and used me as a confessor or something. _sheesh_ ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/23 "2001-07-13T15:37:04Z")
I’m 26, and yes, I’ve had a first… …kiss. _innocent look_ What? ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/24 "2001-07-13T16:18:39Z")
Never had a first. Seemed way too awkward, so I skipped straight to my second. [major hijack] **andygirl** , **girlwithwings** , from the lesbian perspective, how do you define virginity? I vaguely remember a discussion of this in _Chasing Amy_, but I’m unclear. Do y’all consider it a state of mind, particular acts, what? Sua ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/25 "2001-07-13T18:39:44Z")
I am, but only for another month or so ;). ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/26 "2001-07-13T19:27:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Juliana \* > \*\* And to answer the OP, I have three children. Not a single one was an Immaculate Conception. \*\* I’d tackle this misconception myself but in the interests of spreading the snopes love, here you go: [http://www.snopes2.com/holidays/xmas/immac.htm](http://www.snopes2.com/holidays/xmas/immac.htm) FTR, not a virgin but celibate again for religious reasons. Repented and all that. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/27 "2001-07-13T20:59:02Z")
I was until 26, when I met the man I would marry. Still incredibly happy and in love 8 years later. I’m glad I waited. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/28 "2001-07-13T21:27:32Z")
So the follow-up question for the rest of you: just how much does it hurt the first time? I’m not looking forward to excruciating, frightening pain in the most intimate part of my body, given to me by the man I love, no less. Does it stretch out and get easier afterwards, or does it depend on how often you do it? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/29 "2001-07-13T21:59:22Z")
20 yup. and reasonably happy about the situation. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/30 "2001-07-13T22:12:27Z")
Yep. Female, 25, pretty much resigned to it by now. Though this is one thing I’d really love to change…the right guy (or ANY guy!) hasn’t come along yet. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/31 "2001-07-13T22:23:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by a35362 \* > So the follow-up question for the rest of you: just how much does it hurt the first time? I’m not looking forward to excruciating, frightening pain in the most intimate part of my body, given to me by the man I love, no less. There are a lot of good reasons to wait to have sex. Being afraid of the pain is not one of them. Barring anatomical peculiarities, a gentle, patient man, as any fellow worth your cherry will be, will cause you very little pain. And you’ll forget about that quickly enough and be eager to get on to round two. For me, burning the roof of my mouth on really hot pizza is worse. YMMV, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/32 "2001-07-13T23:01:09Z")
18 year old virgin here too… just never found any guy at all and I’m not gonna hop into the sack with the first guy to show any interest… I am kinda curious about it though. -shrugs- ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/33 "2001-07-13T23:03:12Z")
1. Utterly inexperienced. Sick of it. Do me, damn it, do me now!! ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/34 "2001-07-13T23:11:27Z")
27 year old virgin male checking in. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/35 "2001-07-13T23:37:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by girlwithwings \* > \*\*I do actually want to remain a virgin for the person i eventually commit to. I want them to know that were special enough to wait for. \*\* Same with me. I’m 16. I also believe that I’d let my parents down if I ever had sex before I get married. And the final reason? It’d just be too hard to find a place. I’m not really disappointed; just anxious. ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/36 "2001-07-14T00:01:21Z")
Yep, 19 year old virgin here, will be a 20 year old virgin in a month. What’s worse is I have never even had a boyfriend, or been kissed. How sad it that? I will tell you how sad. Really sad. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/37 "2001-07-14T00:32:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FireUnderpantsBoobs \* > **Same with me. I’m 16. I also believe that I’d let my parents down if I ever had sex before I get married. And the final reason? It’d just be too hard to find a place. I’m not really disappointed; just anxious.** If/when you get to college the “place” issue sort of disappears. Then again, that was never my problem. Four years of college and still a virgin. High school is tough because you think everyone is doing it. College is worse because you _know_ everyone is doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/38 "2001-07-14T01:03:52Z")
23 and never been kissed. I’ve termed myself a Virgin by Default, because I never had a chance to have sex. _sigh_ I’m too goddamn picky. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/39 "2001-07-14T01:10:17Z")
25 year old virgin, here. I’m not quite as depressed about the “no sex” part as I am about the “never been in love” part, which is what I really want. Although if I haven’t been laid before my 30th birthday, I’m hiring a professional. Well, at worst, only 1,567 days to go. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324/40 "2001-07-14T02:01:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by a35362 \* > \*\*So the follow-up question for the rest of you: just how much does it hurt the first time? I’m not looking forward to excruciating, frightening pain in the most intimate part of my body, given to me by the man I love, no less. Does it stretch out and get easier afterwards, or does it depend on how often you do it? > > ☹ \*\* If you’re worried, go to your gynecologist and have your hymen cut so it won’t hurt the first time. FWIW, it hurt me no worst than a good (bad?) pinch. I did notice the next day when I sat down that I was a little . . . um, tender. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-hasnt-had-a-first/72324.md?page=3)