# Who here is queer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217 "2000-04-14T18:41:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/81 "2000-04-19T13:50:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Doobieous** : > > This is a cool thread Esprix. I had only known of a very small number of gay/bi/lesbian/omnisexual posters on the board, so it’s great to see the amount that we do have here. Good job dude! 😉 Thanks, **Doob**. We aim to please. 😉 Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ## “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” {This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™} ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/82 "2000-04-19T15:35:00Z")
I’m a lesbian 😃 (and female, lest anyone mistake me for a straight man making a tired joke.) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/83 "2000-04-19T15:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SqrlCub: > \*\* > PS New York Dopers to include: DrMatrix and Cajun Man, I will be in NYC for Gay Pride there.again this year. I will probably be marching with the GENX Bears. Maybe I will see you guys there. > \*\* Sounds great! We’ll e-mail you about it. * * * [http://members.aol.com/ljgrafix/rainbow.gif](http://members.aol.com/ljgrafix/rainbow.gif) “I don’t want realism. I want magic!” - Blanche DuBois ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/84 "2000-04-20T05:31:00Z")
WOOHOO! Then you will be able to meet my boyfriend whom I met there last year at Gay Pride! HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/85 "2000-04-20T05:38:00Z")
Straight, obviously, but what I’m doing “on the record” is beyond me… ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/86 "2000-04-20T05:46:00Z")
OK, queer Dopers, collective question: on an episode of the quickly-becoming-crap Ally McBeal this season, Ally turned down a cute, funny, smart, rich, judge/coffeeshop owner JUST because he was bisexual. I was screaming at the TV, for a number of reasons. (really the straw that broke the camel’s back, in an earlier episode, she broke up with a mentally ill man BECAUSE he was mentally ill, who had declared that she was reason enough to take his medication. Nice messages about both queer tolerance and the mentally ill, David Freakin’ Kelley…) Basically, my question is thus: I consider myself straight but not narrow, and if I was lucky enough to find someone of the caliber of the character on the show, bisexuality wouldn’t even be a blip on the “potenial problems” radar. Have any of you tomatos ever come out to someone about your bisexuality only to find out they had a problem with it? That dude was too good for Ally, anyway. * * * A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing: “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/87 "2000-04-20T05:46:00Z")
Clocking in as bi. Also in a monogamous hetero relationship. ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/88 "2000-04-20T05:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles: > \*\*Basically, my question is thus: I consider myself straight but not narrow, and if I was lucky enough to find someone of the caliber of the character on the show, bisexuality wouldn’t even be a blip on the “potenial problems” radar. Have any of you tomatos ever come out to someone about your bisexuality only to find out they had a problem with it? > \*\* I was going to answer but I realized that Chef Troy would probably love it if you posted this on his Ask the Closeted Bisexual Guy thread on GD. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/89 "2000-04-20T05:57:00Z")
**Riddles** , move that to the **Bi Guy** thread immediately! He’s been looking for a good topic… Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ## “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” {This space reserved for a Genuine WallyM7 Sig™} ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/90 "2000-04-19T18:25:00Z")
Cheffie kinda covered that exact Ally episode, explaining that that was one of the reasons he has not come out to his wife. My current SO, as well as all others in the past, have always been aware of my sexual preferences, I assume I was aware of the past ones, I know I am aware of my current(and forever future) SO’s preferences. I could not even imagine a relationship where you do not completely know the person with whom you will be spending the rest of your life. It doesn’t seem fair or healthy. ## And, I, like Riddles, do not consider a man being bi a reason not to date him, in fact it makes me more attracted. It’s wonderfully sexy to see a man or any person, really, open-minded about loving relationships, sexually or otherwise. Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive. ---
**Author:** ![Mergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Mergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/91 "2000-04-19T19:00:00Z")
Bisexual and loving it. 😃 * * * “We must jump up and down and down, and around and around.” - Tori Amos ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/92 "2000-04-19T19:04:00Z")
Everyone interested in gay, bi and transgendered rights, take a look at this week’s episode of “Popular” (Friday? Saturday? can’t remember), which was listed in my TV page simply as “transsexual teacher.” I fear more nasty jokes are in store, though I could be misjudging them . . . By the way, I saw the show for the first time last week and thought it was a hoot. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/93 "2000-04-19T19:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Male lesbian here. I’ll pay for your sex change. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/94 "2000-04-19T22:28:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Suzeanne: > \*\*I’m sexual, dammit. I like men, I like women, not necessarily in that order. I don’t particularly prefer either, it’s just a matter of who is attractive and fits my type. > > That a clarification?\*\* What she said. To me, omnisexual sounds like you’re including critters, fruits & veggies, stray furniture, and what-not. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Those things just aren’t a regular part of my sex life. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/95 "2000-04-19T22:30:00Z")
Me = Hetero. You = Whatever you like! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/96 "2000-04-20T01:54:00Z")
I’m straight. I can look at a guy and say “Yeah, he’s handsome”, but I’m just too atracted to women. i only came in here to say that this is a fascinating thread. Esprix, you rock! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/97 "2000-04-20T13:18:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Sealemon88** : > > Esprix, you rock! Why, thank you. I’ve been told this on several occassions. Sounds like a new sig line to me (although the one I have is long enough!). Esprix * * * Evidently, I rock. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/98 "2000-04-20T15:47:00Z")
Esprix, are you going to be in NYC for Gay Pride? * * * [http://members.aol.com/ljgrafix/rainbow.gif](http://members.aol.com/ljgrafix/rainbow.gif) “I don’t want realism. I want magic!” - Blanche DuBois ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/99 "2000-04-20T16:22:00Z")
So, on the way to work this morning (see the CONFESSIONS thread - I haven’t posted there, but I belong among the ‘conversations with invisible people’ crowd), I was considering why these: > [@](#): > > \*\* > Answer Refused or Coy > > So you’re not straight, you’re not gay, it was unclear if bisexual would apply, and you don’t like omnisexual. I’d call that coy, wouldn’t you? > :\*\* squicked me so badly. I’ve come to the conclusion that it was primarily because my “I yam what I yam” answer has not been questioned before [1] and I don’t much like other people making judgements (which I perceived it to be) [2] of my view of my own sexual identity. PLEASE NOTE: I’m not outrageously offended, I’m not pissed at Esprix, who I don’t think intended to offend, it ain’t that big a thing. I was just trying to figure out _why_ I reacted this way. [1] Perhaps my answer is more believable in person. Perhaps it’s the difference between RL and E-life and it has happened but I just don’t know it; IOW, if someone’s questioned it before, they’ve done so privately rather than publicly. Perhaps it’s because I don’t think I’ve ever actually been asked this question in this manner IRL, certainly not by anyone whom I don’t know fairly well (those who know me wouldn’t have a problem with my answer). [2] Perhaps it’s just that I don’t like the word ‘coy’. Perhaps it was a reaction based on my personal history (i.e., age, previous experience with the queer culture, etc) - altho TOCOTOX to get into here, this has some merit, but I think it applies more to the question of why I identify as I do than why I didn’t like the above comments. But since I wasn’t the only one who had this reaction, it also made me wonder about self-identification on sexual identity issues in general. So, how many don’t self-identify with ANY of the currently available labels? And why? And what do you do instead? [I know that there has been some of this - for example, since I first heard it used among/by gays, ‘queer’ has moved from being a pejorative to being an accepted, fairly common (I think) self-label. One explanation I’ve heard is that those who call themselves ‘queer’ didn’t like the other titles available at the time. (Another explanation is the political, “reclaiming” concept.)] Is this more prevalent among certain groups (e.g., ‘bisexuals’, ‘homosexuals’, ‘transvestites’, etc.) or is it spread evenly among the sexual-preference minorities? Just what the hell does QUEER mean these days, anyway? Any why would something posted to a public board by someone I don’t know and probably will never meet bug me anyway? This place & you people are weirdly addictive, do you realize that? Why do I always get so complicated when I think about things? (Don’t answer that! It’s just how I work.) Oh, yeah, and Esprix - I’d already SAID I didn’t consider it coy, so obviously, I wouldn’t call it that. But I definitely fit in the ‘freaks’ category, by all available evidence, so maybe that will have to do. Pax? 🙂 * * * In my world, ‘black’ and ‘white’ are merely extremes in the spectrum of ‘grey’. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/100 "2000-04-20T19:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Cajun Man** : > > Esprix, are you going to be in NYC for Gay Pride? Good gracious, no. I did NYC Pride once in the early 90’s, and that was quite enough for me for this lifetime, thankyouverymuch. I think I’m becoming crowd-phobic - just wasn’t my scene. Alas, I’m being arm-twisted into going to the March on Washington (despite having gone to the one in '93, and also hating that), but the payback is I get to go to the Equality Rocks concert - George Michael, k d lang, Melissa Ethridge, and {sigh} Garth Brooks in one concert. Who could resist? 🙂 Have fun in NY without me! (As if that were possible! ;)) Esprix [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217.md?page=6)