# Who here is queer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217 "2000-04-14T18:41:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/101 "2000-04-20T20:24:00Z")
**redtail** , I am _ **so sorry** _ that you took my comment to be anything other than just good-natured ribbing. When I use the word “coy,” I mean it as flirty and mischievous - certainly no ulterior undertones implied. I do sincerely apologize if you misread my intent. I’ll tell you why I said what I said. Originally, you wrote: > [@](#): > > Omnisexual, hmmm? I don’t think I’ll go quite that far. > > I’ve always agreed with the statement made by a friend during our college days: “Redtail’s not homosexual and Redtail’s not heterosexual. Redtail is just plain sexual.” Assuming you were doing a big of ribbing yourself, that sounded a bit {wink-wink} to me, so I classified that as “coy” - there really wasn’t a _direct_ answer to the question of orientation, so not wanting to put you somewhere where you didn’t belong in my facetious categories, I put you in that nebulous one. Then you said: > [@](#): > > I did not refuse to answer and I did not intend to be coy. That is the best description I have of my personal situation. > > If you need a label, pick whichever one you want. Doesn’t matter to me. > > If “omnisexual” gets in, then I should too! So you don’t like “omnisexual” as it implies more than just liking men and women - but then you say you don’t care which term one might use to describe you. That’s why I replied by saying: > [@](#): > > So you’re not straight, you’re not gay, it was unclear if bisexual would apply, and you don’t like omnisexual. I’d call that coy, wouldn’t you? Please understand there was a 😉 and a {nudge nudge} in there! ☹ Again, I meant “coy” as you being vague to be a little teasing and a little taunting - in a good way! You then went on to agree with **Suzeanne** when she said: > [@](#): > > I’m sexual, dammit. I like men, I like women, not necessarily in that order. I don’t particularly prefer either, it’s just a matter of who is attractive and fits my type. Now, from a _purely scientific classification standpoint_, if we’re talking hetero-, homo- or bisexual, being attracted to both sexes makes one _bisexual_. This does _not_, however, necessarily speak to your _sexual identity_, which is more than just your sexual _orientation_. Maybe that’s what’s at issue here? So all that said, let’s look at some of the things you wondered about what you felt when you read all this: > [@](#): > > I’ve come to the conclusion that it was primarily because my “I yam what I yam” answer has not been questioned before [1] and I don’t much like other people making judgements (which I perceived it to be) [2] of my view of my own sexual identity… This might be it, as I said. IIRC, sexual identity is more than just orientation - it also has to do with gender identity, sexual activity preferences, turn-ons, self-image, self-assurance, and a whole host of other things that make up your sexual personage. (And no, it was most certainly _not_ a judgment - please don’t take it that way!) > [@](#): > > Perhaps it’s because I don’t think I’ve ever actually been asked this question in this manner IRL, certainly not by anyone whom I don’t know fairly well (those who know me wouldn’t have a problem with my answer). Well, I don’t have a _problem_ with your or Suzeanne’s answers - I was just making an observation and poking fun. Really. ☹ > [@](#): > > Perhaps it’s just that I don’t like the word ‘coy’. What does “coy” mean to you? > [@](#): > > TOCOTOX What does that stand for? > [@](#): > > So, how many don’t self-identify with ANY of the currently available labels? And why? And what do you do instead?.. Excellent question, and I’d love to hear people’s responses. > [@](#): > > since I first heard it used among/by gays, ‘queer’ has moved from being a pejorative to being an accepted, fairly common (I think) self-label. One explanation I’ve heard is that those who call themselves ‘queer’ didn’t like the other titles available at the time. (Another explanation is the political, “reclaiming” concept.)] > > Is this more prevalent among certain groups (e.g., ‘bisexuals’, ‘homosexuals’, ‘transvestites’, etc.) or is it spread evenly among the sexual-preference minorities? More than reclaiming the word, to me it is simply a more inclusive term. First of all, writing “gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning and straight supporters” while writing a newsletter article about 50 times gives you hand cramp. I used to use “lesbigay” meaning “lesbian-bisexual-gay,” but that doesn’t inclued TS or ?ing. For me, “queer” does that nicely. Secondly, there are a lot more people, as you yourself do, whose sexual identity does not clearly fall into even those broad categories, or they simply aren’t comfortable labelling themselves as such - “queer” is as broad as you can get in the arena of “alternate” sexual identity, if you will. (Heck, it sort of goes to “freaks,” too - I have lots of friends in the Goth/freak/PIB subculture, and now that you mention it, they don’t really fall into the les-bi-gay-trans-? categories, either - the straight guys will kiss me with tongue, everybody’s very touchy-feely, and you simply can’t figure out who’s into what until you ask.) > [@](#): > > Any why would something posted to a public board by someone I don’t know and probably will never meet bug me anyway? This place & you people are weirdly addictive, do you realize that? {hee hee} Yeah, we are, ain’t we? Me, I get riled up over the Jeezers, when it really shouldn’t bother me all that much. Oh, well - what are ya gonna do? 🙂 I hope that helps. I’m very sorry, again, for the confusion. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/102 "2000-04-20T20:40:00Z")
Call me latent bi. I’m in a happy hetero marriage right now. BUT, I find myself sexually attracted to women, and if a woman had approached me I probably would have said, “Sure, what the hell.” Sexually, that is. I don’t know very many women whose personalities (oh, please, don’t take this the wrong way!) I could stand for a long relationship. I’m trying (subtly)to convince my husband that a three- or foursome would be fun…we have some very attractive friends. * * * This post is made of 100% recycled electrons ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/103 "2000-04-20T21:15:00Z")
FWIW, my $0.02… I guess I consider myself straight. For a while I was curious about other men and did play around, especially in my college years, but it never did anything near what having sex with women did for me. So yeah, in this thread’s context I’m a perverted freak. Ain’t we all though? 🙂 * * * All I wanna do is to thank you, even though I don’t know who you are… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/104 "2000-04-20T21:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Esprix** : > Have fun in NY without me! Well, we’ll do our best! 😉 * * * [http://members.aol.com/ljgrafix/rainbow.gif](http://members.aol.com/ljgrafix/rainbow.gif) “I don’t want realism. I want magic!” - Blanche DuBois ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/105 "2000-04-20T22:12:00Z")
Sou Na wrote: > [@](#): > > I’m trying (subtly)to convince my husband that a three- or foursome would be fun… You have to _convince_ him?? Great googly-moogly woman he should be jumping for joy. 😉 * * * “My mind reels with sarcastic replies!” - Snoopy ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/106 "2000-04-21T04:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Green Bean:great I should have told her that the dog joined right in. That would teach her not to ask nosy questions at the dinner table! > > Not that there is anything _wrong_ with bestiality… > > \*\* ## Green Bean, I LIKE you, you wonderfully wicked thing, you!!! Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else. MIPSIMS : where we put the fun back in dysfunctional. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/107 "2000-04-21T06:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > My current SO, as well as all others in the past, have always been aware of my sexual preferences, I assume I was aware of the past ones, I know I am aware of my current(and forever future) SO’s preferences. See what happens when you disregard threads? Dammit, thanks Doob, for directing me here! Sigh… Angel…you know what my preference is: You. 😉 Bisexual. Doobieous explained it best in his pit thread about being “mostly” one way or the other, for me. Mostly straight, but happily comitted forever. * * * I have chainmail underwear. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/108 "2000-04-21T13:43:00Z")
Hey there Esprix. You are coming here for the MMOW? WOW! Perhaps I will actually be able to see you. I plan to be giving tarot readings on the street somewhere (It is fun and I can make money at it!). 🙂 Send me an email if you want to go out for dinner with me, my boyfriend, and another of my friends. My email is [paganbearcub@hotmail.com](mailto:paganbearcub@hotmail.com) HUGS! Sqrl * * * [SqrlCub’s Arizona Adventure](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005351.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/109 "2000-11-22T17:49:09Z")
I’m reviving this thread to get an updated list, just to be evil. Hoo, boy - I’d forgotten how screwed up the posts got after the Big Changeover! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/110 "2000-11-22T18:03:59Z")
Eh, I’m half a queer, if anyone cares. [sub]yes, that means I’m bi[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/111 "2000-11-22T18:17:20Z")
Straight. ---
**Author:** ![dcnewsman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dcnewsman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dcnewsman)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/112 "2000-11-22T18:28:25Z")
My boyfriend, Sqrlcub, says I am. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/113 "2000-11-22T18:34:19Z")
I suppose I think of myself as queer, but I’m married, so does that make me a non-practicing one? I figure if I were (in a better world) married to a woman, I’d still be attracted to men, so being married to a man doesn’t mean I’m no longer attracted to women. Or men. Or something. Hi. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/114 "2000-11-22T18:38:10Z")
> [@](#): > > I should have told her that the dog joined right in. At our house, we refer to this (not allowed!) phenomenon as _menage a dog._ The closest we’ve come to actual bestiality is getting the occasional accidental cold nose on the butt :eek:, or perhaps Phyllis the puppydog accidentally licking my boob while she’s drinking my bathwater. Count me as a “straight but not narrow” female and honorary lesbian. That last is because of “guilt by association” with my gay and lesbian friends in a _very_ small town with all the stereotypical attitudes. I’ve heard, and heard about, some well-meaning but jackass remarks, let me tell you! ---
**Author:** ![weyrdchic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@weyrdchic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/weyrdchic)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/115 "2000-11-22T18:39:19Z")
At the moment, I’m quite straight. Yet to have a crush on a girl, although I find certain girls attractive. But overall, I think I’ll be with whoever I fall for…I believe that theory that everyone is somewhat bisexual at one point or another. ---
**Author:** ![Commander\_Fortune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/116 "2000-11-22T18:50:01Z")
Esprix, when I look at pg. 1, the OP is missing? You can add me as bi and Bill the Galactic Hero as gay. I post, Bill lurks - he prefers chat. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/117 "2000-11-22T19:48:38Z")
With apologies to any N’Sync fans… “Bi-bi-bi.” (Although, really, y’all should be the ones apologizing. I mean, N’SYNC??) ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/118 "2000-11-22T20:56:59Z")
100% Grade “A” homosexual here! 😃 I was wondering where this came from. I looked at the dates on the first page and wondered who revived this puppy! ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/119 "2000-11-22T21:06:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Tommy the Cat** _ > > Straight. And I do believe no one asked - we were looking for _queers_, dear boy. The reason the OP is not at the beginning is that when the board changed software, many older threads got throughly fucked up, this one included. I probably should have started a second thread, but I"m lazy. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217/120 "2000-11-22T21:33:21Z")
I’m not queer, but I’m definitely 100% homosexual. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-here-is-queer/16217.md?page=7)