# Who in your life would most surprise/disturb you by coming out as gay (or straight)?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 30, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823 "2012-06-30T17:25:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/1 "2012-06-30T17:25:42Z")
Other than your spouse, that is.
Think of all the people you know in real life. Which of them would you be most surprised to learn was a different sexual orientation than you currently believe them to be? For that matter, who would most _disturb_ you with such a revelation, whether or not you found it surprising, and why?
No poll. And I’m not gonna explain why I’m excepting spouses from the discussion, as it seems pretty obvious.
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### Author:  [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/2 "2012-06-30T17:30:16Z")
Umm… my parents?
They’ve been married 35 years or so, and still seem fairly into each other, so… yeah.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/3 "2012-06-30T17:31:58Z")
> [@Filbert](#):
>
> Umm… my parents?
> They’ve been married 35 years or so, and still seem fairly into each other, so… yeah.
I think that’ll be the number one answer, and I even considered excepting mothers & fathers as well. But sometimes y’all surprise me.
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### Author:  [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/4 "2012-06-30T17:35:22Z")
Can’t think of anyone, truly, but until I finally got hitched, at 44, I am pretty sure nobody who knows me would have been surprised if I’d come out as lesbian. 😛 Always supported gay friends and lifestyles, won’t wear heels unless I have to, am not very ‘girly’, and will dance, enthusiastically, with every and anybody on the dance floors…which, when I was in my early 20s, were all at the gay clubs. 😛
But most of my family, and friends, too, aren’t well versed in/exposed to the gay lifestyle, so they don’t have much to compare me to. And while I’ve been hit on by women a few times, it hasn’t happened a LOT, so I think my independance, my insistance on doing my own thing even if it means leaving a relationship, and my obsession with comfy shoes has raised an eyebrow mostly on the inexperienced side of the fence.
With no reason to lie, and LOTS of reasons TO fib :p, I have always been boringly heterosexual.
So I guess my answer is myself! For the surprised part. I wouldn’t be disturbed, though. Life might be a lot easier for me!
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### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/5 "2012-06-30T17:40:54Z")
I think everybody but me is actually gay. Well except for gay people, I think they’re actually straight. Pretty much the only thing that surprises me about people is when they are what they say they are. That rarely turns out to be the case.
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### Author:  [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/6 "2012-06-30T18:02:52Z")
My brother Ed. Right-winger, military guy. Lived in GA for awhile so IMO he has some “born-again” in him.
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### Author:  [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/7 "2012-06-30T18:10:57Z")
If my mom came out as stright my jaw would hit the floor.
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### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/8 "2012-06-30T18:25:28Z")
> [@etv78](#):
>
> My brother Ed. Right-winger, military guy. Lived in GA for awhile so IMO he has some “born-again” in him.
Naw. That’s got repressed homosexuality written all over it.
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### Author:  [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/9 "2012-06-30T20:38:29Z")
I’d be most surprised if my brothers said they were gay or if my mother-in-law came out as a lesbian, but I can’t think of anybody whose coming out in either direction would disturb me. We’ve had quite a few coming-out announcements in my extended family, some in young people, some in much older people, and even a couple after decades of marriages that produced children. The latter caused some minor kerfuffles that were brief in duration and ended up enriching relationships within the families.
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### Author:  [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/10 "2012-06-30T20:40:30Z")
My parents (duh), and then probably my pastor.
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### Author:  [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/11 "2012-06-30T20:55:19Z")
You know, it really wouldn’t surprise me an awful lot if my mom came out as a lesbian… Weird.
I’d be completely floored, though, if my brother came out, or if my brother-in-law were secretly straight, or even bisexual.
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### Author:  [@computergeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/computergeek)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/12 "2012-06-30T21:11:42Z")
I would be most surprised by either one of my parents definitely. They’ve been married 56 years. Plus they’re right wing and homophobic, my dad moreso than my mom. And to be honest, given all that, especially the 56 years of marriage, I would have a harder time coming to terms with it than if a nephew or cousin or friend came out. It would really disturb me because of the years-long deception towards his/her spouse and us the kids.
I would be almost as surprised if my brother suddenly announced he was gay since he’s been married almost 30 years and he wouldn’t have told me before now. This too would bother me and would be hard to come to terms with. If either of his kids came out (they’re in their early 20s), I would be a little surprised, but I think I would accept it fairly easily because they’re young.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/13 "2012-06-30T21:20:07Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#):
>
> My parents (duh), and then probably my pastor.
You’re that sure your pastor is gay, I take it? 😃
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### Author:  [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/14 "2012-06-30T21:22:19Z")
My dad.
After him, my mom. Then maybe my really tough mechanic younger cousin.
People would probably shrug or say “I figured” if _I_ came out as a lesbain. But I’m not that exciting, I still am strictly in to dudes.
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/15 "2012-06-30T22:11:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> For that matter, who would most _disturb_ you with such a revelation, whether or not you found it surprising, and why?
My brother; because he’s spent his life living with women, because he’s never shown any particular feelings against homosexuality, and because he knows that _I_ don’t care about homosexuality.
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### Author:  [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)
#### Post date: [June 30, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/16 "2012-06-30T22:53:18Z")
I guess my stalker, because if he’s gay then what the hell is he stalking me for?
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### Author:  [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/17 "2012-07-01T00:59:27Z")
Not actually hypothetical, but it would have to be my Dad. My parents had been married close to 50 years when we discovered that for the past two years, he’s been trolling the internet for hot middle-aged man love.
My Mom, while unhappy, is less surprised than I. Apparently he hasn’t shown any sexual interest in her for close to 20 years; lacking any evidence of health issues or extramarital affairs with women, she suspected that he was gay. I, on the other hand, was quite surprised.
I suppose I should be thankful for those two decades of blissful ignorance of my parents’ sex lives.
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### Author:  [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2012, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/18 "2012-07-01T07:39:17Z")
Either of my children. It would really surprise me if toddlers could come out as either straight or gay.
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### Author:  [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2012, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/19 "2012-07-01T09:47:59Z")
> [@Iggy](#):
>
> If my mom came out as stright my jaw would hit the floor.
_snort_ My “second mom” is GAY. Like butch cut, straight outta Northampton/Dykes to Watch Out For gay. I can’t even imagine her being married to a guy…but she was. If Nancy came out as straight, I’d be all…WHAT!!!
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### Author:  [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)
#### Post date: [July 1, 2012, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/20 "2012-07-01T09:49:55Z")
My daughter. I’d be devastated because I’d know she’d be in for a much more difficult life.
Always my baby, though 🙂
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