# Who in your life would most surprise/disturb you by coming out as gay (or straight)? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823 "2012-06-30T17:25:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/21 "2012-07-01T11:06:19Z")
Myself. I’d shock the hell out of myself if I ever came out as straight. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/22 "2012-07-01T15:00:55Z")
My mom has copped to possibly being bi, although I’m still not sure if she was being sincere or just trying to get attention. Either way, it didn’t surprise me at the time. She’s been divorced for years, though, and is well-known for having shitty taste in men. I’d be happy if she’d get a girlfriend, because that would give her less time and need to annoy _me_. I’ve known that my sister was lesbian since our late teens. I would be very surprised if she came out as not-lesbian, but not disturbed. I can’t think of anyone who would disturb me by coming out, honestly, just differing levels of surprise. I would be very surprised if one of my religious aunts/uncles who’s been happily married for years came out as non-hetero. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/23 "2012-07-01T18:02:57Z")
Surprised: my father, as he had eight children (that we know of) by four different women. Disturbed: my mother. I’m puzzled as to why that would disturb me as I have known several gay women who married men and had children. ---
**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/24 "2012-07-01T19:15:59Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I guess my stalker, because if he’s gay then what the hell is he stalking me for? You. Win. The. Internet. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/25 "2012-07-01T19:53:25Z")
Really I wouldn’t care about anyone coming out, except my boyfriend, although I’d be surprised in many cases (those friends who are emphatically straight or gay, have never had even one experience with, or any desire for, the other sex). My father is, apparently, gay (or at least having sex with men/watching gay porn) - but not ‘out’. It’s been a little bit of a mindfuck, yeah (especially considering he’s still legally married to and living with my mother [who would flip shit if she found out], even though they haven’t had a sexual relationship for over a decade now - and that he’s brain injured and lacking street smarts. I just hope he’s being safe). ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/26 "2012-07-01T20:07:35Z")
I think my family and friends would be gob-smacked if I managed to have romantic sex at all. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/27 "2012-07-01T20:18:42Z")
Probably my brother, because everyone in my family and his circle of friends is fine with homosexuality, so we would all be like, “dude, I think you missed out on a lot of sweet man-loving while you were hanging out in the closet.” ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/28 "2012-07-02T06:42:13Z")
A friend who, while he’s a nice guy, and I enjoy talking with him, is vehemently anti-homosexual, to the point that I don’t think he has realized (or maybe admitted) that his own son is gay. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/29 "2012-07-02T06:55:02Z")
Probably my grandpa. 92 years old. Rabidly conservative. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/30 "2012-07-02T12:54:21Z")
This actually just happened to me. I was having dinner with my sister on the third anniversary of her husband’s death – they’d been married 39 years when he had a very unexpected heart attack – and she told me she’s thinking about starting to date again. Women. I was really surprised, mostly because I’d taken her heterosexuality for granted for a half century or so. OTOH, our mother was bi (which took some serious effort to come to terms with when I found out, back in the '70s, when these things were not as mundane as they are today). Though my jaw visibly dropped a bit when she told me this, and I asked a couple of perhaps gauche questions (“Do you have your eye on anyone in particular at the moment?”), I was able to be supportive of this – but hell yeah, I was surprised, and it definitely was on my mind for the next week or so. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/31 "2012-07-02T14:36:55Z")
Surprised: my friend Kip, who’s a pastor of a Southern Baptist church. Surprise is pretty obvious there. Disturbed: my best friend Tony, who happens to be Kip’s brother. Thing is, it wouldn’t be _surprising_ for Tony to come out of the closet, and I know several people who think he is gay… but he’s a fairly homophobic guy. If he came out of the closet, I’d have a really hard time justifying that with all the things he’s said in the past. Oddly, I would be neither surprised nor disturbed if my mom came out of the closet. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/32 "2012-07-02T14:47:19Z")
My highschool sweetheart? Haven’t seen the man in 20-odd years, but he is the only person I can think of who I would just be really shocked to hear that from. It just wouldn’t fit with anythign else I know about him. I can’t think of anyone else I know personally for whom it just feels outside of the realm of possibility. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/33 "2012-07-07T11:03:43Z")
Hmm. My pastor, probably. He and his wife have been together for a very long time, and the church split from its most recent denomination in part because that denomination started performing gay marriages. (Incidentally, I disagree with my church’s stance on that particular topic.) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/34 "2012-07-07T17:04:43Z")
Either of my grandmothers, but especially my mom’s mom. She used to give Mom’s cousin a hard time because she (the cousin) was a lesbian. The cousin recently passed away, and all Gran could say about her was “it’s such a shame she lived with a woman!” ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/35 "2012-07-07T17:27:55Z")
Surprised? I think my wife. But I don’t think I’d be disturbed. If she wanted a divorce (which it wouldn’t necessarily mean), I would be disturbed about getting a divorce, but still not about her being gay. I don’t think I’d be actually disturbed by anybody coming out. ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/36 "2012-07-08T14:22:44Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > Can’t think of anyone, truly, but until I finally got hitched, at 44 … So I guess my answer is myself! For the surprised part. I wouldn’t be disturbed, though. Life might be a lot easier for me! Congratulations! I’m older than you and perennially single, I blame this mostly on the fact that everyone thinks I’m either gay, or transgendered. I had a friend who was a male to female tran, just because I protected her privacy by calling her “my friend” doesn’t mean I was talking about _me_. But of course they more you try to tell people, the less inclined they are to listen. Sadly I’ve lost contact with her, so I can’t invite her over here to introduce her to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![core\_dump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@core\_dump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/core_dump)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823/37 "2012-07-08T15:16:37Z")
The male CNA who changes my nappies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-in-your-life-would-most-surprise-disturb-you-by-coming-out-as-gay-or-straight/626823.md?page=1)