# Who is crushing on you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 14, 2015, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610 "2015-04-14T02:49:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/41 "2015-04-14T18:34:12Z")
> [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](#): > > I have always believed that having a crush or being in love with someone is very wrong and just sick. Think about it for a minute would you really be comfortable around someone who thinks of you in that manner? The answer is no way if your a sane rational person!!! I would rather be around someone who hates me! I assume you mean unrequited love! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an innocent crush, as long as you know how to behave properly. A couple of years ago they sent us to a training and I had a pretty serious crush on our trainer, who was about fifteen years younger than me, handsome, with a lovely smile. But it’s not as though I leapt out of my chair and made a fool out of myself. I just listened extra closely, which is probably what he wanted anyway. I doubt anybody has a crush on me right now. I mean I’m almost 40. Who crushes on almost 40 YO women? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/42 "2015-04-14T18:42:38Z")
Everyone who’s seen you? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/43 "2015-04-14T20:02:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I assume you mean unrequited love! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an innocent crush, as long as you know how to behave properly. A couple of years ago they sent us to a training and I had a pretty serious crush on our trainer, who was about fifteen years younger than me, handsome, with a lovely smile. But it’s not as though I leapt out of my chair and made a fool out of myself. I just listened extra closely, which is probably what he wanted anyway. > > I doubt anybody has a crush on me right now. I mean I’m almost 40. Who crushes on almost 40 YO women? Well, me. At my age an almost 40 year old woman is a sweet young thing! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/44 "2015-04-14T20:18:40Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > Well, me. At my age an almost 40 year old woman is a sweet young thing! I joke that at my age, the only way I’ll be called young is if I die suddenly. 🙂 But thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/45 "2015-04-14T20:53:18Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Everyone who’s seen you? 😉 And some who haven’t, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/46 "2015-04-14T21:22:04Z")
None that I’m aware of either currently or previously-I’ve been told at least once someone had a crush on me but I supposed it was a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/47 "2015-04-14T21:35:33Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > So it’s weird to think that to somebody, I’m that desirable. all glory to the Hypno-Toad ---
**Author:** ![CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptainAmerica_1987)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/48 "2015-04-15T04:35:25Z")
> [@Jake\_Jones](#): > > Obsession or abject misery in the reality of unrequited love can be unhealthy if taken to extremes but there’s nothing wrong with a harmless crush as long as it doesn’t cause you to behave inappropriately. > > If you want to question my sanity or rational ability for developing a harmless crush on anyone, that’s your prerogative. I question yours for the inability to do the same. A harmless crush can turn into something more and become deadly. It’s too bad people can’t be vaccinated against love. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/49 "2015-04-15T11:30:18Z")
> [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](#): > > A harmless crush can turn into something more and become deadly. Unlike hating someone, which we all know has never lead to anything deadly. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/50 "2015-04-15T11:43:22Z")
Nobody has ever had a crush on me. Evidence suggests I am generally not liked all that much. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/51 "2015-04-15T12:36:28Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > None that I’m aware of either currently or previously-I’ve been told at least once someone had a crush on me but I supposed it was a joke. What was the punchline? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/52 "2015-04-15T15:32:06Z")
A girl I knew from college drunk Facebooked me not too long ago, and finally admitted she likes me–though I’d suspected she did back in college. She kept hanging around even though our friendship consisted almost entirely of small talk, and was rather touchy-feely in the physical sense, to the point that my other female friends noticed and would ask if she was my sister or something. Now I think she’s just lonely. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/53 "2015-04-15T15:54:06Z")
It’s remarkable that many if not most stories in this thread are of women being infatuated with men, some to a stalker-ish extent. The usual profile of an obsessed or stalker-ish person is a male loner, yet perhaps it is equally common across genders. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/54 "2015-04-15T15:56:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > A girl I knew from college drunk Facebooked me not too long ago, and finally admitted she likes me–though I’d suspected she did back in college. She kept hanging around even though our friendship consisted almost entirely of small talk, and **was rather touchy-feely in the physical sense, to the point that my other female friends noticed and would ask if she was my sister or something.** That ain’t right… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/55 "2015-04-15T15:59:57Z")
If anyone has had a crush on me in the past several years, I’ve been blissfully unaware of it. My wife and I are coming up on our 24th wedding anniversary, I’m very happily married to her, and if I knew someone else had a crush on me, I suppose I’d feel flattered, but I’d have no interest in reciprocating. I have my own frequent crushes on women, but my attitude is that infatuation is the vaporware of romance. I enjoy the feeling, then let them vaporize without telling a soul. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/56 "2015-04-15T16:02:25Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > That ain’t right… Well he is from Arkansas. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/57 "2015-04-15T17:47:12Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > was rather touchy-feely in the physical sense, to the point that my other female friends noticed and would ask if she was my sister or something. Just goes to show that there is always a bit of truth behind stereotypes. So, what is the common acceptable amount of “touchy-feely” between siblings? 2nd base, shortstop? ---
**Author:** ![CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptainAmerica_1987)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/58 "2015-04-15T20:31:35Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > Unlike hating someone, which we all know has never lead to anything deadly. I’m just saying when hating someone that means you def know where it all stands ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/59 "2015-04-16T12:04:31Z")
> [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](#): > > I’m just saying when hating someone that means you def know where it all stands Nah, my brother has no idea that I hate him. If I have anything to say about it, he never will. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2015, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610/60 "2015-04-16T13:54:12Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > It’s remarkable that many if not most stories in this thread are of women being infatuated with men, some to a stalker-ish extent. The usual profile of an obsessed or stalker-ish person is a male loner, yet perhaps it is equally common across genders. Definitely. My worse stalker was a man named Fred, or Fahdi. He was Arabic, and really effing creepy. He used to come up behind me, wherever I was, and start rubbing my shoulders or touching me. I didn’t have the self confidence to tell him GET AWAY! back then. The other part of it too was that I was young and lonely. Seemingly all of my friends were dating and I hadn’t even had a kiss yet. (I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 20.) I was at Duchess Community College, and he was extremely handsome, so I figured I should be flattered for his attentions\*. But he was just taking advantage of my insecurities. The scariest part was when I transferred to SUNY New Paltz in the fall AND HE SHOWED UP THERE! But by then another summer had gone by and I was a little tougher and had a new circle of friends, so I managed to get rid of him. Still, it’s not as though he raped me or killed me or anything! Not all crushes, even creeptastic ones, turn “deadly”. He just wanted to sleep with me, not kill me, and even if I had made the mistake and slept with him, well, it’s happened to women before, and women haven’t died from bad sex. \*The funny thing that really, really stopped me? More than his creepiness or anything? Is the absolute certain knowledge that my parents would totally flip their shit if I ever even thought about dating a Muslim man. My parents did not like young Muslim men. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-crushing-on-you/717610.md?page=4)