# Who is happier, those in a relationship, or those who are not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2017, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283 "2017-01-27T01:39:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/21 "2017-01-27T20:33:28Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I need alone-time some of the time and always will, but I had way too much perpetually-alone time in my teens and twenties. I need connections, someone to care about and to care about me. I’m fortunate to have that situation multiple times over at this point in my life. That sums me up as well. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/22 "2017-01-27T20:44:31Z")
I don’t know that ‘ecstatic’ is the word, but I really, _really_ like being married. We have our ups and downs, but for me there is a deep joy underlying the whole thing. There were times when I was happy when I was single, but even then I really wanted to be with someone. And there were a lot more times when I wasn’t very happy when I was single. I hear what people are saying about bad relationships, and I had some of those back before I met my wife, but it wasn’t like I had to stay in them, and I didn’t. So they didn’t leave much of a mark on my psyche. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/23 "2017-01-27T20:53:08Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I was married for 10 years and in a relationship with the same person for a total of 17 years. It screwed me up in ways that were obvious to the rest of my family. I will never do it again. > > I have gone out with tons of women since then and all I see is them wanting $$$$$$ or attention away from the things that I really care about (my daughters first and the rest of my family second). I will happily sleep with them but I am never going to be a stepparent, a caretaker, support the household when they screw up or let someone have complete access to my privacy so there is no point in keeping them around. I already have female friends that I actually care about. The transient ones are expendable. > > I LOVE being single. Every day is like Christmas morning when I was 5 years old. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and don’t even have to tell anyone what, where or why. If someone wants to grab a burger or even go to a club in the next state after work, that sounds great and I can make it happen. I also don’t have to deal with a constant stream of fake emergencies that require money and time to deal with. Don’t even mention the pseudo-slavery that American wives seem to expect these days ranging from “honey-do” lists to tightly controlled social plans. No thanks, it would be a better deal if I just sold myself into slavery to an African tribe and just pocketed the money. > > Before, you tell me that your relationship isn’t like that or I wasn’t doing it right in the first place, I simply don’t care. I have already been through those counseling sessions and I still have no idea why someone would want to be married. The books and counselors always say it is hard work but I am a problem solver and I always think that, if it hurts when you keep banging your thumb with a hammer, maybe carpentry just isn’t for you. Like my father said after three costly divorces, “I just don’t think we are the marrying type”. That is true but I am a faster learner than he is. Are you me? Did I write this? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2017, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/24 "2017-01-27T22:51:59Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’m happily unattached. I don’t have a desire to be in a relationship, and I never get lonely. I think I’d be miserable if I tied myself to another person. Being in a relationship is not the same as being “attached” or “tied to” the other person. My husband and I are both autonomous human beings, and respect each other’s privacy. That’s one of the things we love about each other. And as far as loneliness is concerned, the loneliest times of my life were when I was in a BAD relationship… worse than being alone. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2017, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/25 "2017-01-28T00:58:14Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Being in a relationship is not the same as being “attached” or “tied to” the other person. My husband and I are both autonomous human beings, and respect each other’s privacy. That’s one of the things we love about each other. I’m not sure you’re aware of this, but you are constantly reminding everyone that you have a husband. So I think you are an attached person. And really, there’s nothing wrong with this. But it’s not the life for me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2017, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/26 "2017-01-28T03:34:38Z")
As Chris Rock says, when you’re in a relationship, you want to kill your partner. When you’re single, you want to kill yourself. Better HER than ME! > [@Turpentine](#): > > That’s pretty funny. I didn’t really care about the post or the survey, but when I saw the title, I thought “I’ll bet anything that Shagnasty will drop by any minute to talk about how utterly wonderful it is to be single…” > > Heh. I’ve never seen anyone in my life so damned determined to convince the world that nobody should ever get married. Anyone who has to beat that dead horse this ferociously must be trying to convince himself. Or it could be he really hated being married. Sometimes I feel like Shagnasty. Like if I have to stop what I’m doing one more time to help my wife get some stupid thing off a high shelf or listen to her stupid choice in TV programming in the background one more minute, I’m going to tell her to eat shit, smash the TV and just get in my car and go. Every now and then, my wife takes the kids to her parents for the weekend and I stay behind. Or my works has me travel to some other city. It’s nice being able to just go where I want and do what I want whenever I want. At least for a short time. At those times, I can grab a burger or go clubbing in the next state (since I’m an 8 minute ferry ride to Manhattan from New Jersey) if I want. I don’t know what I would like it all the time, forever. It’s nice having someone around to do stuff with. Or just sit around doing nothing with. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2017, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/27 "2017-01-28T12:43:07Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Being in a relationship is not the same as being “attached” or “tied to” the other person. My husband and I are both autonomous human beings, and respect each other’s privacy. That’s one of the things we love about each other. > [@monstro](#): > > I’m not sure you’re aware of this, but you are constantly reminding everyone that you have a husband. One’s attached/unattached status, and how one feels about it, is the thread topic. Might I suggest pointing this out in a thread where it doesn’t seem quite so relevant? 🙂 Now when he talks about his upside-down house in threads that have nothing to do with home construction… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2017, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283/28 "2017-01-28T14:35:23Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > or listen to her stupid choice in TV programming in the background one more minute, I’m going to tell her to eat shit, smash the TV and just get in my car and go. > > Every now and then, my wife takes the kids to her parents for the weekend and I stay behind. And this brings up the issue of **living alone vs. living with someone else** , either of which could be the case for people in a relationship or people not in a relationship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-happier-those-in-a-relationship-or-those-who-are-not/778283.md?page=1)