# Who is in the wrong in this situation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2010, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409 "2010-02-10T10:35:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/21 "2010-02-10T15:17:04Z")
> [@Chief\_Pedant](#): > > Since you drove together, he put his glasses in your seat (assuming you were the passenger on the way up). That makes him wrong to think it would be your responsibility for breaking them. This is what would irk me the most. It’s not like you were getting into the car for the first time. As a passenger, I’d feel much more responsible if I’d sat on them the first time getting in, but I’d expect a seat I just vacated to still be empty when I returned. Next time get in real fast and toss the glasses over to his seat. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/22 "2010-02-10T15:27:06Z")
> [@](#): > > “I don’t break my patterns of behaviour just because they don’t suit somebody else” The proper response is “neither do I.” Then you sit on his glasses. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/23 "2010-02-10T15:31:51Z")
It’s your fault. . .for having an asshole for a friend. Seriously, you need to drop this “friend”. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/24 "2010-02-10T15:41:39Z")
Why not just move them before you close your door? I know, it doesn’t assign blame, which you are really asking about, but it would keep a difficult situation from arising. Isn’t that a good thing? If he raises an eyebrow, point out that while he steadfastly refuses to learn from experience, you are not so obstinate. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/25 "2010-02-10T15:46:32Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > It isn’t reasonable to expect to have to check for fragile items when sitting down in a car. Sure it is. Whenever someone gives me a ride, I just go ahead and assume that there will be stuff on the passenger seat. In fact I can’t remember the last time that didn’t happen. But I also expect the driver to clear the seat for me. If I’m expected to sit, it’s on the driver to make sure that he has removed all small, delicate, expensive items that I may have overlooked. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/26 "2010-02-10T15:47:35Z")
I put my sunglasses on the passenger seat because I rarely have passengers in my car (and because there’s really no other good place to store them). As such, my wife has sat on them a couple of times. In my case I think she should be more careful because a) I always put them there and she knows it and b) she throws things on her passenger seat that I have to look out for too. In your case however, your friend should have let you know when you got out of the car and when you got back in. Otherwise, it was an accident and you wouldn’t have “owed” him anything. However, if it were me, I would at least expect some kind of an offer. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/27 "2010-02-10T16:09:13Z")
I do sometimes put my sunglasses on the passenger seat, but when I have a passenger, I make damn sure they’re not there before I unlock the door (one good argument for non-automatic door locks – you can clean off the seat before unlocking). You do have some responsibility for the original incident – it’s always good policy to look at what’s on a seat before sitting down.\* But your friend it also partly to blame for it. In case, I’m reminded of the quotation “The difference between smart and stupid people is that smart people don’t make mistakes; it’s that smart people don’t make the _same_ mistake again.” Throwing the glasses on the seat again is making the same mistake. \*A policy I learned in grade school, when jokers would put thumbtacks on the desk seats. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/28 "2010-02-10T16:30:52Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Glasses are what the glove apartment is for. . God, I’d hate to live there… Joe ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/29 "2010-02-10T16:37:31Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > God, I’d hate to live there… I already do. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/30 "2010-02-10T16:42:31Z")
“I don’t CARE if the Germans put land mines where I want to walk, I’m not going to change my behavior!” “SO WHAT if the building is on fire? I’m going inside and going to bed like usual!” “I know my leg is shattered, but I’m still running this marathon, and nobody can tell me any different!” . ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/31 "2010-02-10T16:53:44Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > It isn’t reasonable to expect to have to check for fragile items when sitting down in a car. > [@tdn](#): > > Sure it is. Whenever someone gives me a ride, I just go ahead and assume that there will be stuff on the passenger seat. If you are getting into a friends car at the beginning of a journey, I would agree that checking for items in the passenger seat would be appropriate, but in the OP’s case, they had stopped for lunch, she had gotten out of the passenger seat and would be getting back in. It is not unreasonable for her to presume that the seat would be empty upon her return to the car. As other’s have noted, the driver’s assholish comment about not changing his behavior to suit other people speaks volumes about his character. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/32 "2010-02-10T16:55:48Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > If you are getting into a friends car at the beginning of a journey, I would agree that checking for items in the passenger seat would be appropriate, but in the OP’s case, they had stopped for lunch, she had gotten out of the passenger seat and would be getting back in. It is not unreasonable for her to presume that the seat would be empty upon her return to the car. True enough about the 2nd time. Still, with some friends, I check anyway. ETA: I would pay real money to see this case on Judge Judy. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/33 "2010-02-10T17:05:05Z")
Imagine if someone invited you to stay over. “But I _always_ leave my Fabergé eggs in the spare bed, and I don’t break my patterns of behaviour just because they don’t suit somebody else. You’re up for a new $10,000,000 egg.” If someone’s going to get into my car, I always do them the courtesy of clearing the passenger seat before they get in. ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/34 "2010-02-10T17:10:52Z")
Your friend is not even being courteous to you, and I cannot believe he’d be dumb enough to make the same (expensive) mistake twice! The passenger seat is FOR the passenger! In a parallel fashion, just because you might leave crap all over the floor of your house…don’t you pick it up when guests are coming over? ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/35 "2010-02-10T17:22:20Z")
He is more into his ways then wanting to accommodate others, he appears to be one that doesn’t play well with others, IMHO let him have his ball back and he can go home and play alone with it. He will learn over time what is really important in life. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/36 "2010-02-10T17:42:51Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > 1. You both should have personal insurance for such risks. It is customary for all Dutch to have a WA-insurance, for small accendental damage to others possessions. Wait, back up - is this true? What does it cover? How much do you pay out of pocket for such? Is it really that customary - everyone just has personal insurance policies to pay for small time breakage and the like? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/37 "2010-02-10T17:48:36Z")
Howowners’ policies generally cover loss or theft of personal property whether or not you’re actually at home. Accidental damage or breakage may or may not be covered depending on the state and policy. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/38 "2010-02-10T17:54:21Z")
Your friend sounds like a dick. I always assumed that clearing the passenger seat before someone sat down was the polite thing to do and the driver’s responsibility. If you crush is glasses, as far as I’m concerned, it’s his fault. And you’d think he’d be more careful with $600 glasses. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/39 "2010-02-10T18:46:32Z")
Another vote for friend being a dickhead. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409/40 "2010-02-10T18:48:40Z")
Your friend is a dumbass. the whole “I don’t change my behavior” line was spectacularly stupid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-in-the-wrong-in-this-situation/528409.md?page=3)