# Who is more likely to leave for another partner, men or women? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 26, 2021, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522 "2021-01-26T12:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/1 "2021-01-26T12:40:40Z")
Women end most relationships but what I’m specifically asking about is situations where A is in a relationship with B then ends the relationship with B to begin a relationship with C. I mean to include situations where the relationship with C was already begun when the relationship with B was ended and also situations where the relationship with B was ended with a view to begin a relationship with C. In heterosexual relationships, are men or women more likely to do that? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/2 "2021-01-26T13:44:48Z")
My wild ass guess is Men are more often gonna leave because they’ve met another woman. In my experience, women leave men because they no longer like who those men are. But men leave more often because of how much hotter/easy going the new girl is expected to be. But clearly, this is just a guess. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/3 "2021-01-26T13:52:58Z")
That’s my impression too. I posted this in GQ because I’d like to read a study if one is available but, failing that, WAGs and personal experiences might be second best. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/4 "2021-01-26T15:35:38Z")
I’d guess it’s close to 50/50, especially nowadays. Women don’t keep the marriage going “for the sake of the kids” nearly as much as they used to in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/5 "2021-01-26T15:37:48Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Women end most relationships Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/6 "2021-01-26T15:43:54Z")
Sorry to add to the anecdo-pile, but I recall reading that typically, men leave an established relationship when they are unhappy AND have a new relationship to move into, whereas women leave when they are unhappy, period. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/7 "2021-01-26T17:27:01Z")
I’ve read similar. In that telling, unattached men enjoy being unattached. The footloose bachelor meme. But once a man is used to being attached, men really like that condition. And are reluctant to become unattached without a substitute attachee pretty well lined up. Sometimes that “lined up” is fully actual, and sometimes it’s more fantasy. But leaving a woman for nothing and no prospects is not a real popular move for men. Conversely women in what they perceive to be a bad relationship seem to relish the idea of being “off men” for awhile, perhaps a lot longer than just “a while”. Having the substitute lined up first is just not their thing. Obviously all bets are off when either partner is wacky / nasty enough. We’re talking about Joe & Jane typical here. Not somebody married to a Trump-like or Helmsley-like personality. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/8 "2021-01-26T18:38:26Z")
A matrimonial lawyer of my acquaintance once told me that “a monkey swinging through the jungle doesn’t let go of one vine until it’s got hold of another.” I won’t say whether he was talking about men or women. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/9 "2021-01-26T18:51:39Z")
Or, you could, since that’s the topic of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/10 "2021-01-26T18:55:18Z")
According to these articles, women are more likely to leave a relationship: [Who Is More Likely to Leave a Bad Relationship? | Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201502/who-is-more-likely-leave-bad-relationship#:~:text=This%20same%20pattern%20is%20reflected%20in%20the%20termination,are%20more%20likely%20to%20have%20anticipated%20the%20breakup.) [Women Are More Likely To End Long-Term Romantic Relationships Than Men, New Study Shows, Plus What You Need To Know About Moving On (bustle.com)](https://www.bustle.com/articles/89523-women-are-more-likely-to-end-long-term-romantic-relationships-than-men-new-study-shows-plus-what) ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/11 "2021-01-26T19:01:55Z")
But that was already a given, and the question was who is more likely to leave for another partner. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/12 "2021-01-26T19:03:38Z")
> [@Toxylon](#): > > But that was already a given, and the question was who is more likely to leave for another partner Just backing up what the OP says with cites. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/13 "2021-01-26T19:11:32Z")
Yes, someone asked for cites and I was too lazy. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2021, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/14 "2021-01-26T19:43:17Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Or, you could, since that’s the topic of the thread. It was kind of a joke, told by a lawyer I know. He wasn’t entirely serious (although he was a little serious). But, okay, here’s what he (not I) thought. The clientele of that firm was very limited. To retain him (or any of his partners), a prospective client had to demonstrate that the parties had a net worth of several million dollars (in 1990s dollars), could put up a retainer of around $100,000, and be prepared to pay lawyers charging, even back then, in the neighborhood of $500 per hour, plus expenses, paralegal bills, and all kinds of ancillary charges. In conversations with him over the years, he indicated that men were more likely to outright leave their wives for another, often younger, woman. His women clients were the type who married well, insisted on being known as “Mrs. [name of male big pile of money],” and were not going to leave their husbands no matter what. It was kind of understood that their husbands might have mistresses. And the women would have affairs. But they would never, ever leave their husbands for a boy toy. It just wasn’t done. So he was talking about men. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2021, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/15 "2021-01-27T01:40:25Z")
Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2021, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/16 "2021-01-28T08:49:07Z")
My gender-studies textbook told me that young single women characteristically did not break a relationship until they had another in sight. I can’t remember if it had anything to say about young single men. (It was all just evidence for the argument of a patriarchal society) But that was last century. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2021, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/17 "2021-01-28T14:25:03Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > A matrimonial lawyer of my acquaintance once told me that “a monkey swinging through the jungle doesn’t let go of one vine until it’s got hold of another.” He would if the vine was on fire. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2021, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/18 "2021-01-28T15:20:21Z")
I feel like you can’t accurately lump “long term relationships” in one bundle, either. The factors that go into breaking up with someone after a year of serious dating, a couple years of living together, several years of marriage and no children, years of marriage and small children, and decades of marriage and grown/nearly grown children are all radically different. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2021, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/19 "2021-01-28T15:30:43Z")
I think you also need to distinguish within “leave for another partner” between “was so smitten by someone else that they left” and “left because they were dissatisfied but found another partner before they actually left”. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2021, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522/20 "2021-01-28T18:25:27Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > I think you also need to distinguish within “leave for another partner” between “was so smitten by someone else that they left” and “left because they were dissatisfied but found another partner before they actually left”. > [@MandaJo](#): > > I feel like you can’t accurately lump “long term relationships” in one bundle, either. The factors that go into breaking up with someone after a year of serious dating, a couple years of living together, several years of marriage and no children, years of marriage and small children, and decades of marriage and grown/nearly grown children are all radically different. Feel free to make those distinctions and then answer the question in light of those distinctions. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-more-likely-to-leave-for-another-partner-men-or-women/931522.md?page=2)