# Who is the bigger jerk? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 10, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807 "2013-01-10T23:24:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/81 "2013-01-12T07:29:46Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I once had a couple sit directly behind me in the middle of an empty theatre, who put up his feet on the back of my seat. This happened to me once . . . and the guy’s feet were BARE. It was an almost-full theatre; fortunately I found another seat. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/82 "2013-01-12T09:09:08Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > Like I said, either way someone is going to be unhappy with the moviegoing experience. Everything you say against talking works the other way around. YOU could wait for DVD to watch in silence, YOU want to force your preference on others. So someone’s not going to get their way, and I’m saying there’s no reason it should be the talkers any more or any less than the non-talkers. > > Any time you’re out in public you run the risk of people doing stuff you don’t enjoy. You don’t have the right to expect them to stop; you should just deal with the fact that you can’t always have your way and live and let live. The main purpose of going to a theatre to watch and listen to a movie. The person yakking obviously isn’t doing that. Theatre policy probably would disagree with you by the way. But I get it you’re really accepting. I dig . You probably wouldn’t have a problem with someone laying down on three seats of a crowded bus to take a much needed nap either huh ? Part of the urban experience man. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/83 "2013-01-12T11:13:43Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > What she did may have been unnecessary, but I don’t see how sitting in the row in front of someone is a real problem unless she was much taller then you. If it bothered you so much and the theater was as empty as you say, then it should have been easy enough for you to have moved. > > On the other hand, sitting with your feet up in the chair is a theater rule violation. It’s rude and inconsiderate to everyone that uses that theater. > > So sorry, yes. You were the real trouble maker in that situation. But if he moved then he couldn’t come on here and impress us all with his badassery by shutting down these broads who dare to question his boorish manners in a movie theater. Putting your feet on anyone’s furniture but your own is shit behavior and I can’t imagine what would make one admit it let alone defend it. As for the OP I (like most people) can’t stand people talking in movies but in this case the movie was over. The man in question should have said something during the movie if it bothered him. Saying so afterwards makes him seem like he’s just being an aggressive dick just to be one. If I’d been his date it most likely would have been our last. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/84 "2013-01-12T15:12:25Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Yes good friend sir robot. My post was what we fleshy humans refer to as _a joke_. > > Please don’t send me to the organ vat Yes, I realize that - I was riffing, or at least trying to, off your joke with one of my own. Apparently not successfully. Sorry. Your trip to the organ vat is postponed indefinitely. Now be off and get back to work on the robot DNA experiments. And clean up the dungeon - we have company coming, and I may want to have them tortured. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/85 "2013-01-12T15:39:48Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > So I’m all alone in a theater, and my feet are up on the seat in front of me, and someone walks in and demands to sit exactly there and _I_ am the jerk because I happened to have my feet on the chair before they even entered the room? > > Sorry, no. You demanded something you technically weren’t entitled to. She demanded something she technically was entitled to. Does that change anything? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/86 "2013-01-12T17:38:05Z")
I voted for **Aquadementia** being the bigger jerk, on account of he said this. > [@Aquadementia](#): > > You may _ **of** _ had a point, but your feet were up on the chair so the penalty is on you. That grates on my ears like nails on a chalkboard, and I’m pretty sure he knew that. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/87 "2013-01-12T18:01:59Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > I’m not sure why some posters here are surprised by the empty theatre situation. If there’s no one else there, you obviously gravitate towards the best seats. Why wouldn’t person #2 do the same? Why would (s)he take the extreme right side, nosebleed seats, when front and center is available? Exactly. It’s not like there’s more than one [acoustic sweet spot](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zIY6DQSlbY) in any given theater. That’s why they call it THE “sweet spot” and not A “sweet spot.” ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/88 "2013-01-12T18:13:12Z")
This is why I miss the local cinema where I used to live- one film I saw there, there were some kids (aged about 12-14) talking and chucking popcorn around two rows behind us. After a bit, my mother decided she’d had enough of it, and went to find the owner (it was a small place). They got a choice of staying behind to clean up the mess, or being barred, and it was the only cinema in town… Watching the little shits get the brushes out as we left was great. I wish more places had that kind of attitude, 'cos I bet those kids had better manners next time they came. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/89 "2013-01-12T19:39:58Z")
> [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](#): > > Laughing is mostly an involentary reaction to the stimulous of humor. Movies that are likely to cause laughter are generally layed out in a way that nothing important comes immediately after something likely to cause laughter so that the laughter doesn’t drown out the important things. Unfortunately, sometimes the theater itself ruins this. Back in 1984 I went to see _This is Spinal Tap_ at my campus theater and the volume was so low that half of the movie’s jokes were completely drowned out by the laughter at the other half. > [@shiftless](#): > > This happens to me all the time, except I don’t put my feet on chairs. My wife and I have a running joke that the tallest person in the theater will be the last person to enter and he will sit directly in front of me. Like clockwork. I’ve tried purposely sitting behind a short woman, then her super tall boyfriend shows up with the popcorn just as the movie starts and she gives him the seat she has been saving for him. Grrrr. This sounds like me, parking my smallish car at the grocery store. I can deliberately park between two motorcycles, and when I come out of the store I’ll find the motorcycles replaced by giant-ass SUVs or pickups, making it completely impossible for me to see oncoming traffic as I pull out of the parking space. As far as the “sitting right next to the only occupied seat” thing … My sister used to work at Safeco Field, the Seattle Mariners’ ballpark, and had free tickets she could hand out to friends/family. So I went to a game using one of her tickets, arriving early because I rode to the ballpark with her. I found my seat way up in the nosebleed section on the 3rd-base line, and sat myself down in the otherwise completely unoccupied section to watch batting practice. Given that seats at a baseball game are reserved, what are the odds that the very next people to arrive would have the seats right next to mine? 1:1 in this case. (Even more spookily, the guy with the seat right next to me had the same first name as me, and the same favorite band.) ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/90 "2013-01-12T19:43:14Z")
I sometimes think people take talking in theaters as too much of an absolute. More then once I’ve been more annoyed by a mother shushing up her kid then I was over the kids burst of enthusiasm. I think there are some legitimate reactions you should expect when seeing a movie with living human beings. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I voted for **Aquadementia** being the bigger jerk, on account of he said this. > That grates on my ears like nails on a chalkboard, and I’m pretty sure he knew that. There’s no way I could of known you would be reading these posts aloud. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/91 "2013-01-13T00:42:27Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Yep, you’re the jerk. You only have dibs on the seat you’re sitting in. If a seat is unoccupied, it’s free for someone to take. It doesn’t matter how empty the theater is; you don’t have a claim on any other seat but yours. And like others have said, putting your feet on the seat compounds it. Seriously, it’s hard to believe an adult doesn’t know this. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807/92 "2013-01-13T01:32:38Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Yes, you are right, different demographics respond differently. This is Houston, both parties were whites, middle class income, in theaters where culture is “no talking”. Fair does. In that case, assuming the family were not form some place where their behaviour was acceptable then they were definitely rude. I may even concede they were ruder than the man. However there’s no doubt in my mind that the man was a rubbish person. There’s no point in confronting people at the end of their rude behaviour, that’s just the act of a wuss. They certainly won’t stop it again. All it’s acheived is needless antagonism, and not taking cinemas seriously enough to grant etiquette situations dentological analysis and thus defaulting to utilitarian one, I have to say that he’s just made things worse - on the cons side, he’s upset people (including probably himself), on the pro side he has acheived nothing. If it was a proper faux pas he should have told them at the time to shut up. And if they didn’t shut up, he should have told them to shut up again. And then fetched staff if they still refused. As it is - definite winey wuss. Even if his complaint has total merit, which I will accept from your relation of the facts on the ground. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-bigger-jerk/646807.md?page=4)