# Who is the most useless Superfriend? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775 "2001-03-28T02:37:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/21 "2001-03-30T02:18:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sealemon88 \* > \*\*BTW, **sk8rixtx** , the comic you were reading was The Legion Of Superheroes, with Superboy as member of the thirtieth century team. The Legion included such kick ass member as Triplicate Girl, who could make three copies of herself, and Matter Eater Lad, who had a big mouth. The Legion Of substitue Heroes was even sadder, with the likes of (I swear I’m not making this up) Porcupine Lad and Stone Boy. What could Stone boy do? He could turn himself into an immoble statue. In one case, the other Subs dropped him on the bad guy. \*\* The Subs were CLASSIC! I remember one issue, I think of DC Comics Presents, When Superman captured Ambush Bug ( before AB turned good), and handed him over to the Subs to hold. What 30th century marvel of a jail did they put him in? A fish tank. And he promptly escaped. Hilarity ensued, and I mean actual LOL hilarity, of the kind rarely seen in comic books. One of the best parts of the Subs issues is checking back in on Stone Boy, who is still…solid and immobile. ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/22 "2001-03-30T02:40:00Z")
Ambush Bug was one of the funniest bad guys I had ever read. Have any of you ever read the Stupidman comic? Sooo funny. The Tick made his first entrance in this comic. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/23 "2001-03-30T02:41:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **Obviously you’ve never been a pubescent, lonely and horny teenage girl laying in bed fantasizing about Aquaman…or else you’d know just how useful he is…** Oh, so he was a Super Dildo to ya, huh? 😃 So what was it? His scales? His green tights? That shock of golden hair, cascading gently o’er his heated brow? Oh, and you guys who are nominating Wonderdog, Marvin, etc… Dagnabit, those were Junior Superfriends, not actual Superfriends! They can’t **possibly** count! They’re useless as a collective! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/24 "2001-03-30T04:15:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > > **Obviously you’ve never been a pubescent, lonely and horny teenage girl laying in bed fantasizing about Aquaman…or else you’d know just how useful he is…** > > Oh, so he was a Super Dildo to ya, huh? 😃 > \*\* I can’t imagine why the Superfriends never had a member known as Super Dildo. ---
**Author:** ![theendisnear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a4c791/32.png) [@theendisnear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theendisnear)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/25 "2001-03-30T05:22:21Z")
I’m sure Batman had a bat-dildo laying around somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/26 "2001-03-30T09:10:01Z")
What, no one’s ever heard of El Dorado? He’s the Mexican Superfriend whose only power is to project holograms from his eyes. Some power THAT is! I’d just like to add that in almost every episode of the Superfriends I ever saw, the bad guys had defeated the Superfriends fair and square until the last minute, when they were saved by some deus ex machina. I actually rooted for the bad guys on that show because I felt they DESERVED to win! If the good guys are going to win, they need to EARN it, damn it! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/27 "2001-03-30T09:46:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ricksummon \* > \*\*I’d just like to add that in almost every episode of the Superfriends I ever saw, the bad guys had defeated the Superfriends fair and square until the last minute, when they were saved by some deus ex machina. \*\* For those who don’t speak Latin, deus ex machina is pronounced “deuce ex machine-ah” and it means “two things that were formerly machines.” ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/28 "2001-03-30T16:42:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, and you guys who are nominating Wonderdog, Marvin, etc… Dagnabit, those were Junior Superfriends, not actual Superfriends! They can’t possibly count! They’re useless as a collective! OK, fine. In that case, I nominate everyboy except Superman. He had to save all of their collective asses every episode anyway (Except for the occasions that someone would use some green kryptonite they found in their backyard, in which case Gleek would use his stretchy tail to throw it away, or something). ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/29 "2001-03-30T16:57:18Z")
[hijack] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*For those who don’t speak Latin, deus ex machina is pronounced “deuce ex machine-ah” and it means “two things that were formerly machines.” \*\* Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition pronounces it “dâ-es eks mä ki ne,” “mahkinah,” or “me shç ne”, “mehsheena.” No alternative pronunciation for “deus” - just “de us.” Deus meaning God or a god, and in classic Greek and Roman theatre, a god would be introduced by means of a crane to decide the final outcome of a play. Literally means “God from a machine.” There, now **that’s** a hijack! (Man, I’m a bastard.) [/hijack] Oh, and good call, **Sealemon88**. He sure saved their scrawny asses a lot, didn’t he? Surprised he didn’t complain about it more! “Why am I out there busting my ass to save you guys all the time? Do you do anything? I work and I slave, and what thanks do I get?” ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/30 "2001-03-30T20:42:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > **Oh, and good call, Sealemon88. He sure saved their scrawny asses a lot, didn’t he? Surprised he didn’t complain about it more! "Why am I out there busting my ass to save you guys all the time? Do you do anything? I work and I slave, and what thanks do I get?"** What, _Superman?_ The Big Blue Boy Scout? He’d _never_ do anything as impolite as actually complain, are you kidding?! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/31 "2001-03-30T21:09:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*What, _Superman?_ The Big Blue Boy Scout? He’d _never_ do anything as impolite as actually complain, are you kidding?! 😃 > \*\* Exactly! Think how cool he would have seemed if he said things like “Dedicated to truth, justice, and peace for all mankind… my butt!” and then flipped everyone off, sideswiped a prop plane, and invited hookers to his Fortress of Solitude. THAT would be a superhero! WoooooooHOOOOO! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/32 "2001-03-30T21:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > > What, _Superman?_ The Big Blue Boy Scout? He’d _never_ do anything as impolite as actually complain, are you kidding?! 😃 And THAT, is why Superman will never be sexy. Aquaman was no Wolverine, but he wasn’t Mr. Goody Goody either. pff. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/33 "2001-03-30T21:24:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **And THAT, is why Superman will never be sexy. Aquaman was no Wolverine, but he wasn’t Mr. Goody Goody either. pff.** Yeah right! What bad things did Aquaman ever do? You talk about your Boy Scouts, at least Superman had a damn girlfriend! Who did Waterboy have? The hammerhead shark? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/34 "2001-03-30T23:17:19Z")
dantheman: As a Superfriend, Fishboy is useless. In the comics, he’s making time with Wonder Woman. For that reason alone, he’s my HERO. > [@](#): > > What, Superman? The Big Blue Boy Scout? He’d never do anything as impolite as actually complain, are you kidding?! “_Whew_ I finally found Batman and Robin and were able to save them from the Riddler’s Giant Paper Bag Trap ™. Now I can finally relax a little, and–Jesus Christ. Hawkman’s getting his ass kicked by some some cub scouts with magnifying glasses. Superheroes, my ASS.” BTW, Seanbaby’s page is hil-freakin-arious! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/35 "2001-03-30T23:36:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > (And I’m speaking of old school Aquaman by the by, not that new one with the long hair…ick) **YES!! Someone else who despises the new Aquaman look!!** No vote from me, just a plug for Jon Morris’s[Online Sketchbuk](http://ape-law.com/wustudio/sketchbuk/index.html) on [ape-law.com](http://ape-law.com). He did a hypothetical redesign of the Legion of Doom recently. Interesting, though I don’t recall the Legion of Doom at all. Mxyzptlk, Darkseid, yeah. The LoD, no. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775/36 "2001-03-31T02:27:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*[hijack] > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > > \*\*For those who don’t speak Latin, deus ex machina is pronounced “deuce ex machine-ah” and it means “two things that were formerly machines.” \*\* > > Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition pronounces it “dâ-es eks mä ki ne,” “mahkinah,” or “me shç ne”, “mehsheena.” No alternative pronunciation for “deus” - just “de us.” Deus meaning God or a god, and in classic Greek and Roman theatre, a god would be introduced by means of a crane to decide the final outcome of a play. Literally means “God from a machine.” > > There, now **that’s** a hijack! (Man, I’m a bastard.) > [/hijack] > \*\* What? Nobody thinks you’re a bastard. Yeah, I know the right way to say “deus ex machina” – I had this friend in high school who took Latin and I liked to drive him nuts by intentionally mispronouncing that and many other Latin phrases. He was an odd dude. He tried to get back at me by intentionally mispronouncing Spanish phrases (because I took Spanish) – like I cared. I have so few pleasant memories of high school and this is one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-most-useless-superfriend/59775.md?page=1)