# Who is the new Steven Segal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020 "2005-08-21T21:54:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/1 "2005-08-21T21:54:57Z")
I’m not talking about the new Arnie, or Sly, in which case you could opt for The Rock or Vin Diesel; I’m talking about a current day action star of mostly straight-to-video clag, who still has a career, somehow. The first guy that sprung to mind was Mark Dacascos, but he’s actually pretty good. I mean someone _awful_. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/2 "2005-08-21T21:58:29Z")
I nominate Oliver Grunier. ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/3 "2005-08-21T21:58:39Z")
[Jason Statham?](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005458/) ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/4 "2005-08-21T21:59:56Z")
Sorry about the typo. **Olivier** Grunier. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/5 "2005-08-21T22:01:49Z")
Another nominee: Jeff Speakman. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/6 "2005-08-21T22:08:34Z")
Are you also looking for someone who releases awful albums a la Seagal’s _Songs From The Crystal Cave_? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/7 "2005-08-21T22:44:23Z")
> [@Scruloose](#): > > [Jason Statham?](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005458/) I was thinking the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![parthenokinesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@parthenokinesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parthenokinesis)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/8 "2005-08-21T22:51:38Z")
I think Dacascos is more like the new Van Damme. I’ll second Jason Statham as the new Segal. I enjoyed him in _Snatch_, as to some extent _Ghosts of Mars_, but _The Transporter_ is the worst movie ever made, and it’s sequel is coming out in just a few weeks. Why didn’t Besson write a sequel to _The Fifth Element_, or better yet _The Professional_. I’m sure now that Natalie is all grown up, she could helm the sequel. That would rock. ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/9 "2005-08-21T23:03:08Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > I was thinking the same thing. When I saw the thread I had a feeling someone would bring up Statham. I don’t know if it’s a fair comparison. Statham hasn’t been a headliner in that many movies. I haven’t seen all his movies, but he hasn’t really been the star of anything other than _The Transporter_, which actually had some good action scenes, even if the script was poorly written. Plus, I think anyone that would qualify as the “new” Segal would need to have a hairstyle capable of matching Segal’s embarrassing balding-pony-tail look. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/10 "2005-08-21T23:16:46Z")
Yeah, I didnt have Jason Statham in mind at all… He isnt really a leading man yet, and most of his movies get a theatrical release, at least. Plus he seems to be a likeable enough sort of chap… With no hair to speak of. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/11 "2005-08-21T23:35:45Z")
Just pick the latest washed up Rap star. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/12 "2005-08-21T23:53:05Z")
Stratham is infinitely more charismatic thant Seagal… but it’s a fair comparison. Strathman may not have been the lead in that many movies but his career is FAR from over. ---
**Author:** ![Khadro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Khadro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadro)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/13 "2005-08-22T00:13:53Z")
> [@parthenokinesis](#): > > I think Dacascos is more like the new Van Damme. Even though I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, I still cannot believe what I am about to report. Several years ago (more than 5, less than 8) I actually saw a trailer for a movie that labelled Dacascos as “The Van Damme of the mid-nineteen-nineties”. So his ship has apparently already sailed. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/14 "2005-08-22T00:55:37Z")
I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Jason Statham is AWESOME. He ought to be a headliner by now. Aside from _The Transporter_ (which is one of the best non-superhero action movies of the last five years or so), he’s had excellent roles in very good ensemble casts: _Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels_, _Snatch_, and _The Italian Job_. He’s actually a decent actor (unlike Seagal and Van Damme) with excellent comic timing, and he’s a lifelong martial artist who is in excellent physical condition. Don’t write this guy off – I’d say he and The Rock are the best up-and-coming action movie stars out there right now, and both are far better, more talented, and more charismatic than Vin Diesel. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/15 "2005-08-22T01:13:35Z")
**Lou** , I thought you _liked_ Vin Diesel! Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/16 "2005-08-22T01:21:26Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Jason Statham is AWESOME. He ought to be a headliner by now. Yeah, I think he’s great too. He was also cool in **Mean Machine**. A remake of **The Longest Yard** , but set in England and with soccer instead of American football. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/17 "2005-08-22T02:40:16Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > **Lou** , I thought you _liked_ Vin Diesel! Ouch! He was great in \*Boiler Room \* (where he actually ACTS!) and _Pitch Black_ (where he first adopts his “badass” persona), but I wasn’t overly fond of the first _Fast and the Furious_ or _xXx_. I just prefer Statham and The Rock in similar action movie roles – but I was never a big Arnold or Stallone fan either. ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/18 "2005-08-22T04:48:35Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > He was great in \*Boiler Room \* (where he actually ACTS!) and _Pitch Black_ (where he first adopts his “badass” persona), but I wasn’t overly fond of the first _Fast and the Furious_ or _xXx_. I just prefer Statham and The Rock in similar action movie roles – but I was never a big Arnold or Stallone fan either. You forgot to mention _The Pacifier_, which was a cinematic tour de forc–BWAHAHAHAH sorry I couldn’t keep it together. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/19 "2005-08-22T05:06:38Z")
To fall into Seagal or Van Damme category they have to be walking parodies of themselves. Making films in which the unintentional comedy is off the scale. I can’t think of anyone except Jackie Chan which could compare. I know Jackie Chan has a pretty solid following from his early Chinese films, but his American movie performances are solidly in late Seagal category. I know Chan has been watchable on occasion, but Seagal did have Under Siege and Out for Justice. To lump Jason Statham into this discussion is ridiculous. The guy can act and typically manages to be likable and funny. I see no likelyhood of him becoming so full of himself that he can’t even be considered part of this society anymore… ---
**Author:** ![MilTan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@MilTan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MilTan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020/20 "2005-08-22T05:45:17Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > I know Chan has been watchable on occasion, but Seagal did have Under Siege and Out for Justice. I think you have it backwards. Jackie’s had a few _unwatchable_ American movies (_The Tuxedo_ and _Around the World in 80 Days_ come to mind), but for the most part, his American movies have been quite enjoyable. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-new-steven-segal/318020.md?page=2)