# Who is the smarter, stronger, or more clever character? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 2, 2025, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516 "2025-04-02T12:54:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/141 "2025-04-04T20:12:52Z")
How about the serial murderer/author Jessica Fletcher vs Lieutenant Columbo? Would Columbo be fooled by Fletcher or not? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/142 "2025-04-04T20:18:07Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Unfortunately for Eddie, Wednesday would always be there for Pugsley. Are we talking early TV series Wedneday (where she’s younger than Pugsley), or the movie / Wednesday-series / Broadway play Wednesday? Very, very different Wednesdays. Early-tv-series, she’d be of no use. All the others, and Eddie had better watch out. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/143 "2025-04-04T20:24:03Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Very, very different Wednesdays. Early-tv-series, she’d be of no use. Unless we’re talking about a dance challenge: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/F3jnymeJof4/hqdefault.jpg "The Wednesday Dance") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3jnymeJof4) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/144 "2025-04-04T22:08:41Z")
**Modern Family** (Pritchetts and Dunphys) vs. **Arrested Development** It wouldn’t even be a fair fight. No matter how nasty Lucille is, Gloria happens to be a crack shot. And Jay can still beat up any member of the Bluth family, let alone what Cam could do when sufficiently angered. You’d have to get to Maebey vs. with Alex or Haley to get to a near-even match. Maeby is crafty, but Haley is an evil genius while Alex is an actual genius. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2025, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/145 "2025-04-04T23:02:35Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > How about the serial murderer/author Jessica Fletcher vs Lieutenant Columbo? Would Columbo be fooled by Fletcher or not? Y’know, they eventually _did_ pit Columbo against [an Agatha Christie stand-in](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0075866/) who’d decided to graduate from writing murder mysteries by committing one and making it look like an accident and arranging an alibi for herself thousands of miles away, and — spoilers? — off the top of my head, it’s maybe the only time he wound up in an _Ellery Queen_ scenario: he couldn’t talk her into giving herself away, but, for a change, he instead needed to get into the mindset of the dead guy. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/146 "2025-04-05T07:23:21Z")
If that’s the one I’m thinking of, isn’t it an example of Lt C breaking the law? As in, perverting the course of justice (as it’s called in the UK anyway). He has got solid evidence that she did it, but he lets her get away with it? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/147 "2025-04-05T11:11:58Z")
> [@iamatractorboy](#): > > If that’s the one I’m thinking of, isn’t it an example of Lt C breaking the law? As in, perverting the course of justice (as it’s called in the UK anyway). He has got solid evidence that she did it, but he lets her get away with it? No, this is the one where Abigail “The Best In Murder” Mitchell is rich enough — having authored dozens of mystery novels, to say nothing of a hit play — to have a small walk-in vault, of ‘bank’ quality if not size, in her home. And so she asks a guy to (a) showily leave her home, in front of folks who know she’s about to leave for the airport, and _also_ asks that guy to (b) secretly slip back in and meet with her at said vault; she dangles the prospect of easy money as he walks into said vault, at which point she locks him in there before catching a flight to the coast. So when the vault is opened, it looks _exactly_ like an unscrupulous jerk tried to play burglar while she was out, and maybe thought he heard a maid and panicked and hid by closing the vault door, accidentally locking himself in there and dying. And so Columbo tries his usual schtick — which often gets a suspect to slip up and say something only the killer would know — but she just keeps saying stuff an eccentric innocent could after some larcenous idiot botches a heist on her property. And so Columbo asks himself: what if the guy in the vault, with nothing else to do, had wanted to leave a message that names his murderer? But how to manage that, given that _she_ might be the one to open the vault and ‘discover’ the body? So, take the killer’s psychology out of the equation; all Columbo needs to do is figure out what the _victim_ would’ve done, for to find the solid evidence that’s a Like-Unto-Deathbed-Testimony note. And, when he finds it, she asks him to let her get away with it; he, uh, doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Nyvaak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Nyvaak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nyvaak)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/148 "2025-04-05T13:02:04Z")
Hop Sing would eke out a narrow win over Mr. French, if only because of basic frontier toughness. However, even if they teamed up, the two of them would lose decisively to Hazel. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/149 "2025-04-05T13:09:05Z")
Mr. French just needs to sit on Hop and he’d sing “uncle!” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/150 "2025-04-05T13:36:38Z")
Alice could take them both. She dates a serial killer butcher. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/151 "2025-04-05T13:42:52Z")
There are rare instances of Columbo not arresting someone because, e.g., she would be dead of a terminal disease before trial, or the one where he destroys evidence and lets an accessory to murder go because she was victimized, but it was not that one. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/152 "2025-04-05T13:57:17Z")
**Igor** (Lab Assistant to the movie version of Doctor Frankenstein) vs **Torgo** (minion of the Master, from Manos the Hand of Fate). Torgo gets to keep both hands. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/153 "2025-04-05T16:32:07Z")
Who would prevail in a mob war between Jabba the Hutt and his henchmen versus Tony Soprano and his crew? Assume for some hand wavey reason they are on the same planet at the same time, and they both have access to the same weapons and tech. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/154 "2025-04-05T16:48:41Z")
**Igor** would bring **Torgo** to his knees. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/155 "2025-04-05T16:53:34Z")
I must’ve remembered it wrong because that’s the episode I was thinking of. I thought he let her get away with it because > **Summary** > > The victim had killed her daughter ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/156 "2025-04-05T17:06:23Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > Who would prevail in a mob war between Jabba the Hutt and his henchmen versus Tony Soprano and his crew? Assume for some hand wavey reason they are on the same planet at the same time, and they both have access to the same weapons and tech. If it is close combat, the Supranos would win. Hutts are slow moving and big targets. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/157 "2025-04-05T17:17:14Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Hutts are slow moving and big targets. Are any of Jabba’s henchmen Hutts? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2025, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/158 "2025-04-05T18:25:11Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > > > Hutts are slow moving and big targets. > > Are any of Jabba’s henchmen Hutts? More importantly are any of them interior decorators? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/159 "2025-04-06T15:30:39Z")
Could ANYBODY take on Green Hornets driver, Kato? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2025, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-is-the-smarter-stronger-or-more-clever-character/1016516/160 "2025-04-06T15:31:36Z")
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