I too have been reading James Berardinelli forever.
And Rex Reed at the NY Observer is just grumpy and hilarious. But then I’ve read his books (celebrity interviews) before he even played his part in ‘Myra Breckinridge’. Even Mr. Sali loves Rex Reed - there’s just something about a bitter snotty old queen…
I like A.O. Scott from the NY Times. He doesn’t provide a star rating and seems to have tastes that are very much in line with mine.
This is funny that you mention the kids-in-mind site. I’d not heard of it, but back when the Mustard offspring were young’uns, there was a similar site that I constantly referred to when choosing which VHS (yeah, VHS) movie to watch with them. (I forget the name of the site, but last I checked, it was a pay site).
But, now they’re young adult Mustards, so it’s no longer a concern, right?
Well…yeah, it is. We do still watch movies as a family, and while I’m no longer anxious about encountering ‘shit’ or even ‘fuck’ in the dialogue, I’m also not too keen on watching an R-rated portrayal of, say, anal sex with them, either.
So I appreciate the mention of kids-in-mind. 
mmm
Mr. Filthy matches how I’d rate most of the movies. I do mean use that site to see how a movie really is. We’ll have to leave this at you have a completely different idea than I do what is a good movie.
Not necessarily- he gave “Salt” a great review, because it was supposed to be a woo-hoo mindless popcorn action flick, and he got exactly what he paid for! I think he said that it did everything he hates in an action film, and did it so well he enjoyed it immensely. 
I remember his review of “purple Rain” as being the first time I realized that he didn’t judge everything by the same standard (he loved it, BTW- so did Gene Siskel IIRC).
I read around five random reviews from the Mr. Filthy site and have concluded that he’s not really what I am looking for.
I desire thoughtful, well-written reviews that contain wit and insight, and this is what Mr. Filthy offers*:
I appreciate the suggestion, though.
*from his review of ‘Dan in Real Life’
mmm
I wish I could remember this one critic I used to like’s name (it was another one back in the r.a.m.r. days), but he did just that–he gave movies stars based on the kind of movie they were. So, for example, a stupid mindless action movie that was executed well was a “four-star one-star movie,” while a pretentious Oscar contender that missed the mark might be a “two-star four-star movie.”
BTW, my all time favorite movie critic is The Phantom. He only did horror and some sci-fi, and his style was great. I’m really bummed that he hasn’t reviewed anything for years. (Here’s one of the few sample reviews I could find–good lord, it’s 20 years old already. I feel very old all of a sudden. Check it out only if you like reviews of old horror movies in a very amusing style.)
I usually just go by the tomatometer (top critics section). I arbitrarily add 10 points if it’s a horror movie, because I like horror movies. And I subtract 50 points if the title includes the name of a superhero, or if it’s animated and the reviews say it has “pop culture references.”
I would say, overall, that Berardinelli is the best critic, and that Ebert is the most fun to read.
I like David Chen, Devindra Hardawar, and Adam Quigley at the slashfilmcast.
I make a point of listening to Going To The Show With A Regular Guy. Sadly, he’s not on Rotten Tomatoes and it’s a podcast (which isn’t updated until it’s a couple weeks old) unless you catch him live on WXRT, Chicago. I do enjoy his reviews though and they’re usually pretty accurate for me so even if you find this post worthless against your OP, someone else may enjoy.
I like the Regular Guy too. I keep missing his bits on the radio though.