# Who kicks your butt at MSN Hearts?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 4, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819 "2005-06-04T01:52:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 11
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Elladogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elladogga)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/1 "2005-06-04T01:52:32Z")
When I pull up my came-with-the-puter version of Hearts, I play against Stinky, McPooper, and Fred.
Unless I cheat, Fred usually wins. How 'bout you?
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### Author:  [@SlickRoenick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlickRoenick)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/2 "2005-06-04T02:38:31Z")
Pauline, Michelle, and Ben. We all win about equally.
How does one cheat in Hearts?
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### Author:  [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/3 "2005-06-04T02:43:09Z")
Sorry to hijack, but is there any way to get Hearts if it didn’t come with your version of Windows? I got addicted to Hearts on Win 98, but when I upgraded to 2000 I didn’t have Hearts anymore.
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### Author:  [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/4 "2005-06-04T02:46:36Z")
I haven’t played that version for quite a while, but I definitely remember thinking it was a savage cheater… once one of the PC players got ahead, the others would tank the game, so I’d always end up losing 15-20-40-105, with me at 20.
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### Author:  [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/5 "2005-06-04T03:29:06Z")
How _do_ you cheat at computer hearts?
I used to have them named after my siblings until I realized I was resenting my brother _in real life_ because the seat named after him always beat me. So now they’re generic random names that change every week. One week, I played with Thomas (Eliot), John (Dunne) and Dorothy (Parker); another week, Ari(stotle), Bo(ethius) and Plutarch. I felt sorry for Plutarch because he didn’t have a nickname, but then he kept beating me, so then I just resented him.
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### Author:  [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/6 "2005-06-04T08:28:43Z")
Ben’s an asshole.
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### Author:  [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/7 "2005-06-04T13:46:17Z")
I don’t like it on computer because I can’t see the stacks of cards building up in front of everyone, so I never know when someone’s shooting the moon. 😕
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### Author:  [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/8 "2005-06-04T17:03:20Z")
Asshole, Dickhead, and Shitbag are my opponents.
Select 3 cards to pass to Dickhead.
Asshole wins!
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### Author:  [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/9 "2005-06-04T18:26:49Z")
Goddamn that Fred. Goddamn him straight to hell.
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### Author:  [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/10 "2005-06-04T19:31:11Z")
None of them are worth a fig as opponents. So I just Play Weirdly to keep it at all interesting. E.g., my game today:
1. Failed shoot, 19 pts.
2. Shoot.
3. Shoot.
4. Played it safe. 0 pts.
5. Shoot and a win.
Not exactly tough opponents.
I.e., if they always start the 2nd play with a spade, they’re really, really easy to beat. In Real Life you _never_ play a game that predictably.
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### Author:  [@SiouxChief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiouxChief)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-kicks-your-butt-at-msn-hearts/306819/11 "2005-06-05T05:12:43Z")
> [@Rysto](#):
>
> Sorry to hijack, but is there any way to get Hearts if it didn’t come with your version of Windows? I got addicted to Hearts on Win 98, but when I upgraded to 2000 I didn’t have Hearts anymore.
I think it comes with Windows 2000 also…it just probably wasn’t one of the selected components during your installation.
Go to Control Panel and double-click “Add / Remove Programs”. From there, select “Add / Remove Windows Components”. It’ll show you the list of Windows Components that can be installed…you just have to find the “Games” component and put a check by it.
I have Windows XP, and to find Games you have to select “Accessories and Utilities” in the list, then click “Details”.
Note: After clicking “Next” to install the component, you might have to put your Windows 2000 CD into the drive so it can find the files.