# Who Killed Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 29, 2009, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168 "2009-03-29T07:47:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/302 "2009-03-31T03:01:34Z")
> [@Lacunas Quell](#): > > Historical and credible documentation of intelligent extraterrestrial life. I’ve heard of Vatican II, but Vatican LI? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/303 "2009-03-31T03:05:23Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > It can be, and is all the time. Turn on a car, and a little of the matter in the fuel becomes energy; set off a nuke, and a somewhat larger amount of matter becomes energy. I think he may have been using “matter” in the broader (though technically incorrect) catch-all term a lot of people use meaning “everything in the universe, including energy.” But I could be wrong (that’s why I said we don’t know). If not, disregard that part of my post, Trihs is right in that scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/304 "2009-03-31T03:05:58Z")
By the way, is it commonplace to use “hope” and “faith” interchangably? I always figured they were pretty distinct. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/305 "2009-03-31T03:07:00Z")
> [@simster](#): > > So, how does that make me dishonest? Don’t worry about it. If **raindog** wants to make an issue of your honesty, he can open a **Pit** thread, because if he pursues it here he is liable to be Warned for breaking the rule regarding accusations of dishonesty in this forum. [/Modding] ---
**Author:** ![mutantmoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@mutantmoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mutantmoose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/306 "2009-03-31T03:15:19Z")
There’s something I’m missing here. Why would the Vatican have secret files relating to UFOs? I mean I’ve heard of the government having hidden evidence and files but _the Vatican_? At what point did they get involved? Where and when did these secret Vatican/UFO meetings take place? They’re not the first organisation that springs to mind when I think of UFO cover-up conspiracies. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read Icke, I love a good conspiracy theory but that’s pretty outre even by conspiracy standards. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/307 "2009-03-31T03:16:46Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > By the way, is it commonplace to use “hope” and “faith” interchangably? I always figured they were pretty distinct. I expect it’s a matter of confusing the issue, and trying to guilt people into not disagreeing ( you don’t want to destroy someone’s HOPE now, do you ?! ) ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/308 "2009-03-31T03:19:40Z")
> [@mutantmoose](#): > > There’s something I’m missing here. > > Why would the Vatican have secret files relating to UFOs? > > I mean I’ve heard of the government having hidden evidence and files but _the Vatican_? At what point did they get involved? Where and when did these secret Vatican/UFO meetings take place? > > They’re not the first organisation that springs to mind when I think of UFO cover-up conspiracies. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read Icke, I love a good conspiracy theory but that’s pretty outre even by conspiracy standards. Watch UFO Files on the History Channel sometime, they make a pretty convincing (_cough_) case that a lot of the stuff in the Bible is just aliens. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/309 "2009-03-31T03:21:46Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Watch UFO Files on the History Channel sometime, they make a pretty convincing (_cough_) case that a lot of the stuff in the Bible is just aliens. Yeah, Von Danniken was sure that the vision of Ezekiel was actually an extra terrestrial craft. ---
**Author:** ![mutantmoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@mutantmoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mutantmoose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/310 "2009-03-31T03:29:22Z")
What, that’s the evidence for the Vatican/UFO link - von danniken? No offence to VD, he wrote a fantastic book, but is that seriously what the op is going to use as his defence? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/311 "2009-03-31T03:31:10Z")
Non Spoiler- The film Prince Of Darkness includes, almost as a throwaway, that Jesus was actually a humanoid alien. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/312 "2009-03-31T03:34:44Z")
Is that what you’re suggesting **Lacunas Quell**? That Jesus was actually an extraterrestrial and the Vatican is concealing this fact? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/313 "2009-03-31T03:46:37Z")
> [@mutantmoose](#): > > There’s something I’m missing here. > > Why would the Vatican have secret files relating to UFOs? > > I mean I’ve heard of the government having hidden evidence and files but _the Vatican_? At what point did they get involved? Where and when did these secret Vatican/UFO meetings take place? > > They’re not the first organisation that springs to mind when I think of UFO cover-up conspiracies. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read Icke, I love a good conspiracy theory but that’s pretty outre even by conspiracy standards. It’s just logical. UFOs appear in the sky and upper atmosphere, which is the realm of the angelic host. Stands to reason angels would be monitoring them, if only to avoid a turkey-in-the-tachyon-intake incident. And of course, the Vatican is the only place in the world that has a direct phoneline with angels, in the person of the Pope. Through them, higher ups in the Catholic Church have been in diplomatic talks with aliens for a long, long time. Before Jesus was even born ! Little known fact (because _they_’ve covered their tracks quite well) : classical churches and cathedrals usually feature at least one high tower. Ostensibly masquerading as bell towers, they are actually air control relays for UFOs that use the bells to map the surrounding region accoustically, as a form of early topographic SONAR. Which is why that UFO crashed in the desert near Roswell : no cathedral for _miles_. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/314 "2009-03-31T03:53:42Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > you don’t want to destroy someone’s HOPE now, do you ?! Fuck, yes. Every few weeks, I’m a guest speaker at a local high school and I tell the kids about sexually-transmitted diseases and mortgage foreclosures. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Quell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Quell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Quell)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/315 "2009-03-31T06:00:49Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > It can be, and is all the time. Turn on a car, and a little of the matter in the fuel becomes energy; set off a nuke, and a somewhat larger amount of matter becomes energy. > [@Jragon](#): > > I think he may have been using “matter” in the broader (though technically incorrect) catch-all term a lot of people use meaning “everything in the universe, including energy.” But I could be wrong (that’s why I said we don’t know). If not, disregard that part of my post, Trihs is right in that scenario. Actually, the first law of thermodynamics states that neither matter nor energy can be created or destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/316 "2009-03-31T06:28:24Z")
> [@Lacunas Quell](#): > > Actually, the first law of thermodynamics states that neither matter nor energy can be created or destroyed. It might help if you could supply us with a cite that does in fact state this. And actually, misunderstandings of the laws of thermodynamics pop up in arguments like this all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/317 "2009-03-31T06:56:48Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Little known fact (because _they_’ve covered their tracks quite well) : classical churches and cathedrals usually feature at least one high tower. Ostensibly masquerading as bell towers, they are actually air control relays for UFOs that use the bells to map the surrounding region accoustically, as a form of early topographic SONAR. Which is why that UFO crashed in the desert near Roswell : no cathedral for _miles_. And under the big hats - transmitters. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/318 "2009-03-31T07:12:25Z")
> [@Lacunas Quell](#): > > God is. > > God didn’t kill anyone. God doesn’t interfere with nature. IT’S NATURE! It’s natural. If God interfered with nature it wouldn’t be natural. The tsunami was cause by an earthquake which was caused by the natural shifting of tectonic plates. How is that God’s fault? The Earth is like a billion year old house. It’s going to creak a little. > > “For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs…”.–Romans 8:22 > > All throughout history it was normal for people to hold their god responsible for a natural destruction. They never blamed their god. They believed it was a punishment for something they did wrong. So, God didn’t create the Earth? Or did he create it but wasn’t a good enough engineer to make it safe. Maybe it should get recalled to fix the defects. I’m not sure the people said that, but the priests sure did. If not them, then their parents. Since no one is perfect, the priests can always find a reason to blame the victims. If some who were far more evil lived to a ripe old age and died rich - well, God works in mysterious ways. But there is progress here. You seem to accept that the Earth is very old, and also admit that the story about God making the Sun stand still for Joshua is just a myth - because it involves God interfering with nature. Now if you’d just apply that same logic to the rest of the Bible, we’d be getting somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/319 "2009-03-31T07:23:34Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > And under the big hats - transmitters. No, no, the big hats are to conceal the gigantic Mars Attacks-style brains. The transmitters are hidden in the robes. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/320 "2009-03-31T07:56:23Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > And under the big hats - transmitters. Not transmitters, [receivers](http://yfrog.com/0apopebrainj). NSFW… primarily for its blasphemous content. Though there is an illustrated gold phallus. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168/321 "2009-03-31T11:46:52Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Fuck, yes. Every few weeks, I’m a guest speaker at a local high school and I tell the kids about sexually-transmitted diseases and mortgage foreclosures. And that their pets will die within a few years. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-killed-jesus/491168.md?page=17)