# Who knows the complete lyrics to these "camp" songs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 4, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929 "2003-03-04T04:02:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/41 "2003-03-05T04:17:51Z")
Another on I remember is “The Crazy Old Man From China”. No-one else I’ve talked to seems to know this one. Also, I do not find it to be racist so if anyone is offended I apologize. It is rather tame. _My mother told me to open the door, the crazy old man from China. I opened the door, he fell on the floor the crazy… My mother told me to take him outside, the crazy… I took him outside, he fell down and died, the crazy… My mother told me to bury him deep, the crazy… I buried him deep, he stuck out his feet, the crazy… My mother told me to look in the sky, the crazy… I looked in the sky, he spit (sh_t?) in my eye, the crazy…\* There is probably more, but I cannot recall. ---
**Author:** ![Tertius01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@Tertius01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tertius01)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/42 "2003-03-05T04:28:06Z")
I was going to post Miss Mary, but in view of the ending and the recent Southwest Airlines incident, I’ll refrain. It was always kinda catchy though. ---
**Author:** ![psychomonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@psychomonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychomonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/43 "2003-03-05T04:33:02Z")
OK, my favorite as was begged for for many years at camp to the delight of all when somone would finally sing it is “The Cat Came Back” ``` Old Mr. Johnson had troubles of his own. He had a yellow cat that wouldn't leave him alone. He tried and he tried to keep that cat away. Took it up to Canada and told it for to stay. CHORUS: But the cat came back the very next day. The cat came back. They thought it was a goner, But the cat came back; it just wouldn't stay away. He gave it to a man going up in a balloon. He told him to give it to the man up in the moon. The balloon it must have busted; well, that's what they all said, 'Cause ten miles away, they picked the man up dead. Now, this cat was a terror and they thought it would be best, To gave it to a feller who was going way out West. His train went 'round a curve and hit a broken rail. Not a soul was left alive to tell the gruesome tale. Now the cat was a possessor of a family of its own. There were seven little kittens, 'til there came a cyclone. It tore the houses all apart and tossed the cat around. The air was filled with kittens, but not one was ever found. Away across the ocean they did send the cat at last. Vessel only out a day and taking water fast. People all began to pray; the boat began to toss. A great big gust of wind came by and every soul was lost. They threw him in the kennel where the dog did lie asleep, Where the bones of other cats lay piled in a heap. That kennel burst apart and the dog flew out the side, With the dog's ears chewed off and holes in its hide. He gave it to a little boy with a dollar note. He told the boy to take the cat up river on a boat. They tied a rock around its neck - it must have weighed a pound. And now they search the river for the little boy who drowned. At last they found a way for this cat to really fix, They trapped it in an orange crate down on highway 66. Come a ten ton truck with a twenty ton load, Scattered pieces of that crate a mile down the road. The farmer on the corner said he'd shoot the cat on sight. He loaded up his shotgun full of nails and dynamite. He waited in the garden 'til that cat came walking 'round. Seven little pieces of the man was all they found. They strapped a bull's eye to its chest and tied it to a fence. They lined up with their pistols; everyone was feeling tense. It glared at them with eyes of green and with its teeth it spat. And when the smoke had cleared away, they couldn't find the cat. The H-bomb fell just the other day. The A-bomb fell in the very same way. Russia went! England went! And then the USA. The entire human race was left without a chance to pray. ``` I couldnt remember all the lyrics, so thats what i found on google. a little different from the way we sang it, but very much the same. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/44 "2003-03-05T05:34:13Z")
Do you remember the songs that went on for stanza after stanza and you had to remember the order of each. The one most people know is There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly. I met an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don’t know why she swallowed the fly Poor old lady I think she’ll die. She ends up swallowing a whole lot of things until she swallows a horse. . . and dies, of course. There was another one like that about a leaf on a twig and the twig on a branch and the branch on the tree and the tree in a hole and the hole in the ground And the green grass grew all around and around. And the green grass grew all around. Ya’ll remember that, right? ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/45 "2003-03-05T06:48:23Z")
To the tune of “Ach du lieber, Augustin”: See the little angels ascend up, ascend up, Oh, see the little angels ascend up on high. Which end up? Ass-end up! Which end up? Ass-end up! Oh, see the little angels ascend up on high. ---
**Author:** ![teleute12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@teleute12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teleute12)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/46 "2003-03-05T11:54:35Z")
I haven’t seen “Miss Suzy” on here yet. We used to chant this to go along with our hand-clappy routines (anyone know what those are properly called?) when I was in elementry school. It went: _Miiiiiiiiss Suzy had a steamboat That steamboat had a bell (ding ding) Miss Suzy went to heaven The steamboat went to Hello operator…_ I remember the whole thing (I think), but it’s rather long so I don’t know if I should type the whole thing out. Also, we made up different lyrics to christmas carols: _We three kings of Orientar Tried to smoke a rubber cigar It was loaded, it explo-o-ded Bam bam bam, you’re dead._ I suspect there might be more to that one, but I’ve never heard it. If you’re looking for campfire songs, I know we sang a lot of them during my times at Girl Scout camp, but I don’t remember those _nearly_ as well as I do the “naughty” ones. ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/47 "2003-03-05T12:38:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*_Nobody likes me, everybody hates me > I’ll go eat some worms. > Fat ones, skinny ones, juicy juicy juicy ones > Ones that squirm and squirm. > Cut off their heads and suck out the juice > Throw the skins away. > You’ll be surprised how many you can eat > Three times a day, not including snacks, > 'Cause they taste so gooooooood!_ \*\* I taped a version of this song once from **Dr. Demento**. The words are slightly different (and sung with an English accent): - Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m going out the back to eat worms. Long big skinny ones, big fat juicy ones, Wiggle in your tummy type worms. I like the way they wiggle when they slide down me throat, So much nicer than a turtle or a goat. Nobody likes me . . .\* ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/48 "2003-03-05T13:18:01Z")
**Biggirl** , is [this](http://www.scoutscan.com/songs/g/gsong052.html) the song you were talking about? Green Grass (There was a Hole) There was a hole The prettiest little hole that you ever did see And the green grass grew all around, all around And the green grass grew all around And in that hole There was a tree The prettiest little tree that you ever did see And the tree was in the hole And the hole was in the ground Continue adding one line at a time… Now on that tree… There was a branch… the prettiest little etc… …limb on the tree …nest on the limb …egg in the nest …bird in the egg …wing on the bird …feather on the wing …bacteria on the feather There was another one we used to sing about “A hole in the bottom of the sea”. There was a log in the hole, a branch on the log, and it continued with a bump, a frog, a wart, a hair, a flea, and a germ. Also I remember a variation on the “Comet” song from the 60s: Comet, will make your mind turn green Comet, is better than LSD Comet, will make you vomit So get some Comet and vomit today. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/49 "2003-03-05T14:44:24Z")
Yes **LurkMeister** that’s the tree song! How about this version of She Was Coming 'Round the Mountain with these ribald lyrics? (Warning: This thread will no longer be G rated) She was comin’ 'round the mountain doing ninety When the chain on her motorcycle broke She was found in the grass With the kickstand up her ass and her titties playing Dixie on the spokes. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/50 "2003-03-05T16:28:42Z")
Good news, everyone! Apparently the tune to “Little Pile of Tin” and its counterparts is based on a really old folk tune that just keeps getting recycled. The official answers from a music teacher and the Hennepin County Library is the same: the oldest version that they know of is the one that goes with “I’m a Nut.” So that’s really no help, although I do have a copy of the sheet music (couresty of my boss), that I can post. **Chronos** , I learned some additional lyrics to Tom the Toad (and it looks like a small variation on your version): You were alive, but now you’re dead Your face resembles tire tread You did not see the coming car And now you are part of the tar You used to be so green and fat And now you are so red and flat **Lisa-go-Blind** , here’s that lyric to Boom Boom Ain’t it Great to be Crazy: A horse and a flea and three blind mice Sat on the curbside shooting dice The horse he slipped and sat on the flea “Whoops!” said the flea, “There’s a horsey on me!” The memories this thread is bringing back! ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/51 "2003-03-05T22:16:30Z")
I remembered another one I can’t remember, so here we go again. What was the one with the girl who kept shooting people and telling the judge: I didn’t know the gun was loaded, And I’ll never ever do it again… And of course she’d go right out and shoot somebody else. (Awhile back in GD, someone said (in reference to Byrd) that they were tired of the “I didn’t know the Klan was racist” plea, and that tune with those words has been running through my head ever since…) ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/52 "2003-03-06T02:00:12Z")
Oh man, this thread is bringing back some repressed Girl Guide memories. They hardly ever let us sing fun songs. Mostly Kum ba yah again and again… But occasionally we sang this one, which I cannot remember the name of \*Oh, it’s beans, beans, beans That turn us into fiends In the store, in the store Oh, it’s beans, beans, beans That turn us into fiends In the (something) store Mine eyes are dim I cannot see I have not brought my specs with me I have not brought my specs with me \* Oh, and this one, for some reason we always sang it at the end of every meeting, about 10 times, with a different accent each time - We’re all together again, we’re here we’re here. We’re all together again, we’re here we’re here. And who knows when we’ll be all together again? Singing All together again, we’re here…We’re here. \* Check out this website [http://www.scoutsongs.com/categories/index.html](http://www.scoutsongs.com/categories/index.html) Ah memories… ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/53 "2003-03-06T02:39:45Z")
How about: **… The first marine, he found the bean, _parlez vouz!_ (sp?) The second marine, he cooked the bean, _parlez vouz!_ The third marine, he ate the bean and blew a hole in the submarine! Inky-dinky-_parlez vouz!_ …** **Teleute,** The version I learned was about _Mary,_ and I only learned 2 verses: **Mary had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Mary went to heaven, the steamboat went to HELL oh, Operator, gimme number nine! And if he doesn’t answer, then gimme back my dime!** Anyone heard this before? **"Once upon a time, a goose drank wine, A monkey chewed tobacco on a streetcar line. The streetcar broke and the monkey choked, and they all went to heaven in a little steamboat."** ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/54 "2003-03-06T02:46:05Z")
I knew **Lou-Lou Had a Steamboat** Lou-Lou had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell Lou-Lou went to heaven, the steamboat went to he. . . Lo operater, please give me number nine And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick you lil be. . Hind the 'frigerater ther was a piece of glass Lou-Lou went to pick it up and cut her little as… k me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies. . . I’ve forgotten the rest. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/55 "2003-03-06T02:53:36Z")
Magayuk: It’s the Quartermaster’s Store. This is bringing back memories, but not all that repressed. It’s only been less then a year since I was last a leader and had to (more or less) remember these. I also learned new ones since when I was a girl. Which wasn’t all that long ago actually. All of you going on about the clapping game (however you learned it) The way I learned it was: Miss Suzie had a steamboat the steamboat had a bell Miss Suzie went to heaven the steamboat went to HELLo operator give me number nine And if you disconnect me I’ll kick you in behind the yellow curtain there was a piece of glass Miss Susie sat upon it and hurt her little ASk me no more questions tell me no more lies the boys are in the bathroom doing up their flies are in the city bees are in the park boys and girls are having fun necking in the dark dark dark Though I have heard it go on for another few lines, I never did learn them. ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/56 "2003-03-06T06:30:32Z")
To the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”: I wear my pink pyjamas in the summer when it’s hot; I wear my flannel nightie in the winter when it’s not. And sometimes in the springtime, And sometimes in the fall, I jump between the covers with nothing on at all. Glory, glory hallelujah! Glory, glory hallelujah! Balmy breezes blowing through ya With nothing on at all. ---
**Author:** ![teleute12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@teleute12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teleute12)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/57 "2003-03-06T09:21:18Z")
**Obsidian Flutterby** , this is how we continuted it from there: _D-A-R-K D-A-R-K dark dark dark. Theeeeee dark is like a movie a movie’s like a show a show is like a TV show and that is all I KNOW you know my ma, I know you know my pa I know you know my sister with the fourty-acre (or sometimes 49-er) bra!_ And if we’d made it that far without breaking up into giggles, then we’d start over or something. I’m sure that someone, somewhere has made up more verses to it, though. ---
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/58 "2003-03-06T13:43:41Z")
DirkGntly - 3, 6, 9 The goose drank wine The monkey chew tobacco in the street car line The line broke The monkey got choked And they all went to heaven in a little rowboat Clap back My momma told me If I was goody That she would buy me A rubber dolly My auntie told her I kissed a soldier Now she won’t buy me A rubber dolly More comet fun! Comet It makes you mouth turn red Comet It makes you wet the bed Comet, will make you vomit, etc Comet It makes your mouth turn square Comet It makes your butt grow hair Comet, etc… My son and I made those up and about fell off the bed laughing 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/59 "2003-03-06T14:48:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ellen Cherry \* > \*\*_Knighted Vorpal Sword_ – I know more of your song! > > _Oh I wish I were a little English sparrow (English sparrow) > Oh I wish I were a little English sparrow (English sparrow) > I’d sit up on the steeple and spit upon the people_ > Oh I wish I were a little English sparrow (English sparrow).\* > > _Something tells me that the orginal lyrics were "sh_t on all the people." Wouldn’t you agree? We good girls at camp didn’t know the bad lyrics.\*\* I wouldn’t know, the camp I volunteered at one season made the raspberry sound. And it wasn’t an English sparrow on the steeple, it was a steeple pigeon. We also did hypodermic (I’d chase you over here and stick you in your rear), sporty car (I’d speedy, speedy, speedy over ev’rybody’s feety), and radio (I’d go “click!”). When I was a Boy Scout, one of the other boys was very fond of “Bang, Bang Lulu”. One time we wen’t camping he never seemed to shut up! \*Lulu has two boyfriends They both are very rich One’s the son of a lawyer The other’s a son of a Bang, bang, Lulu Lulu bangs all day Who’re we going to pick on When Lulu goes away? Lulu went to a ballgame The batter hit a bunt It bounced off the backstop And hit Lulu in the Bang, bang, Lulu Lulu bangs all day Who’re we going to pick on When Lulu goes away?\* At least I think that’s how the chorus goes. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929/60 "2003-03-07T01:03:48Z")
Sar-dines! Hey! And pork and beans! Hey! Sar-dines! Hey! And pork and beans! Hey! Every morning by he railroad track (sardines) I eat pork and beans from paper sacks (sardines) Every morning when I go to the store (sardines) I ask the grocer man to give me some more I got sardines in my pack and i don’t need no snack Sar-dines! Hey! And pork and beans! Hey! Sar-dines! Hey! And pork and beans! Hey! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-knows-the-complete-lyrics-to-these-camp-songs/158929.md?page=2)