# Who makes a better impression online than IRL? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386 "2001-03-17T16:56:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/1 "2001-03-17T16:56:37Z")
This came up in discussion with another Doper. How many people feel they make a better impression online than in real life? I think I do. I don’t have many friends IRL, a couple, but not many. Dates? HAH! maybe every other year I’d get one. Usually blind dates with no encores (their choice). ``` Online there are a few people I could call friends, and, in what I am still unable to understand, 2 ladies have expressed interest in me. THEY actually approached ME, at least initially! I don't know if I'm more flattered, or shocked. (of course, in keeping with my luck, neither lives within 1000 miles..). Anyone else's cyberpersonality better than their real one? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/2 "2001-03-17T17:09:28Z")
I write with more ease than I speak. Could that be the case also with you, **lurkernomore**? On-line, people get a longer chance to know you that lasts beyond the first impressions, and people probably get to know the true you better. I don’t think that makes your on-line personality better (or false in any way). Maybe it just means you are a little shy or something. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/3 "2001-03-17T18:06:27Z")
_raises hand_ ME! I’m a lot less shy online than in RL. Also usually a lot less insecure. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/4 "2001-03-17T18:16:52Z")
But Falc, yer not shy online. At least not to me, or in chat . . . 🙂 I’m somewhat shy online, though I’m more open then than I am IRL, for the most part. However, I leave the question of whether or not I make a good impression to those I’ve met.😃 ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/5 "2001-03-17T18:17:34Z")
I certainly hope I do better IRL! People are often misinterpreting what I type. I never use sarcasm, for example, but some people insist on reading things that way. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/6 "2001-03-17T18:23:12Z")
I’d have to say I’m equally a dweeb in both places. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/7 "2001-03-17T18:29:43Z")
IRL for me. I’m fairly sarcastic and rather humorous, but have a dry and fairly odd sense of humor, so my inflections are a must. Plus, I do so much technical/professional writing that it tends to carry over into my recreational typing, and I have trouble getting emotions across on a monitor. On-line, people have a tendency to take what I write in the wrong context, so I am frequently viewed as an opinionated, obnoxious and arrogant asshole. It sucks cuz in person I’m really not very arrogant 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/8 "2001-03-17T18:38:21Z")
**Yo! Right here!** Yeah, right here. Look here! I think I tend to be more rambunxious and obnoxious online than IRL. Besides, I can yell real loud here, and nobody will hear me IRL. Ask everyone. I’m just a tool . . . Tripler And **Falcon** , _ **you** _ shy?!? Yeah right, and the Pope ain’t Catholic neither . . . ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/9 "2001-03-17T18:58:40Z")
Right here. It can sometimes take me a while to open up IRL. Not that I don’t like people–I do. But online, I have a little more time to think about what I’m going to say. I’m not as quick with a joke or a wink IRL. I’ve always believed in the old adage “better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” So, I don’t talk a whole lot IRL, for the same reason I don’t post a lot in GD or GQ. I don’t know a lot of stuff. I try not to miss opportunities to get a laugh, though. I do enjoy that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/10 "2001-03-17T19:26:04Z")
When I am online I get to talk to people who know what a computer is. Otherwise I just find most people uninteresting as I use computers alot:). ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/11 "2001-03-17T19:57:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tshirts \* > \*\*I certainly hope I do better IRL! People are often misinterpreting what I type. I never use sarcasm, for example, but some people insist on reading things that way. \*\* There you go again you jerk!! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/12 "2001-03-17T20:00:58Z")
I’m not too sure, but I would say I’m pretty much the same here as I am IRL. Surely not _exactly_ the same, but pretty close. Just don’t ever talk to me on the phone. I’m really boring that way. (Well, I’m pretty boring anyway, but especially on the phone.) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/13 "2001-03-17T20:27:37Z")
I don’t know about better, but certainly different. I’ve had so many people from these boards tell me that I’m all nice and kind and stuff, whereas IRL, I tend to be a sarcastic smartass, especially when I’m very comfortable with those around me. Is kind better than sarcastic?? Depends upon the venue, I suppose. Then again, what’s not to love??? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/14 "2001-03-17T20:29:33Z")
Online a person is whatever they say they are to a certain extent. You are judged solely on your words and interactions with others. At first the elixer of anonymity can be a very powerful drug, but eventually it will make you its master instead of it being your slave. If you are an asshole IRL, nothing can mask that for very long. It is too hard to keep up the charade and eventually someone will push that one button in your psyche that you **must** react to and your facade will crumble. The same rules apply for those of us who are shy or insecure. Being anonymous frees us from all the things IRL that \*\*we \*\* allow to influence our behavior—the things that everyone is trying to hide be it their age, physical imperfections, reputation or financial situation and allow us to interact without the constant worry of does she think I’m fat or does he think I’m pretty. I think my online persona is closer to “the real me” and the IRL me because I can relax and just be the contents of my head and not my physical appearance. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/15 "2001-03-17T21:40:57Z")
I, too, have more online friends than ones IRL. I think a lot of it is like **Falcon** said… online, people get to know you for you more online without any pesky first impressions getting in the way. I don’t have to worry about people looking at me and seeing my weight or my height first. I can flirt, and be flirted with… and have people get to know all my idiosynchra… idiosyncra… quirks before they pigeonhole me into “Good friend” or “Obnoxious Fat Girl” and then get to know me. It’s hard to change first impressions. And, like **The Mermaid** said, if the bad is there IRL, then nothing will mask it. But if the **good** is there IRL, it, too, will come through. You just don’t have to worry about your nerves at meeting someone new hiding that first. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/16 "2001-03-17T22:14:40Z")
I’m another one who prolly makes a better impression OL than IRL (I guess for the definitive answer you’d have to ask the people who know me). I have more OL friends than IRL, mostly because I am shy. I also don’t look great, so it is easier to talk to people who get to see the real me. As you can see from my post count though, I am still a little shy OL too. I would agree that people’s true personalities will come out in the end. If you try to lie, all it takes is one little slip to contradict something you have already said and that is it, the game is up. I personally beleive that honesty is the best policy when telling people stuff. And if I don’t want to tell I either change the subject or avoid the topic. Perhaps it is naive of me that I beleive that most other people are the same, they are usually honest. My philosophy is that if I am serious about wanting to be friends with someone I have to be honest otherwise when they find out they will be pissed off. Also, do I want to be friends with someone who likes what I say I am rather than the real me. If they don’t like the real me, I’m better off without them. Erm, \ Sorry, got a bit carried away there. On a message board there is a certain anonimity, but as you get to know someone better and maybe e-mail or chat OL, you reveal more about yourself. I think it can form very good friendships because you learn so much about each other. But, on the down side, distance can be a real problem ☹ Rick ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/17 "2001-03-17T22:33:16Z")
Introspective question, I suppose. I’ve always had trouble judging the differences, except to say I am quite _different_ in the two mediums. IRL: I’m polite, friendly, somewhat shy, silly and sometimes really animated. While on-line, I’m just different. (I think I’m more prone to make an ass out of myself. ;)) I think much of it is that the “masks” and “barriers” aren’t up - a lotta stuff goes to the wayside with others when you’re solely connecting _via words._ Anyway, I think the Internet just brings out my bizzare side. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/18 "2001-03-17T22:56:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spider Woman \* > \*\*I write with more ease than I speak. > > Could that be the case also with you, **lurkernomore**? > \*\* ``` Actually, I think maybe part of it is at least occasionally online, I think before I type. I can't use scarcasm etc as much. Thanks for the spideyhug. ``` > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > ME! I’m a lot less shy online than in RL. Also usually a lot less insecure. > \*\* \ Bill Gates as a bag man…OK Donald Trump, modest and self-effacing…check Bill and Hilary in a loving, mongamous relationship…done Dubya addressing a Mensa convention…easy. Falcon shy… **NO WAY!** \ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > Yo! Right here! > > ``` > Yeah, right here. Look here! I think I tend to be more rambunxious and obnoxious > online than IRL. Besides, I can yell real loud here, and nobody will hear me IRL. > > ``` > > \*\* ``` You underestimate your ability to be rambunctious and obnoxious IRL, sir.....(j/k) ``` FCM - I know exactly where you’re coming from. TP- what height? :D&R: Rick, I don’t know you, man, but I agree with almost everything you’ve said. You just said it better than I can. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/19 "2001-03-17T23:03:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > **TP- what height? : D&R:** You know, the height where I don’t even have to get down on my knees… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386/20 "2001-03-18T00:05:40Z")
I try to appear mature and intelligent online (with mediocre success), but offline, I’m an immature, mean, sarcastic loser. I have some friends, yes, but I’m more a parasite than a leader. However, I’m a ‘sweetie’ according to some people… Apparently girls aren’t interested in sweeties. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-makes-a-better-impression-online-than-irl/58386.md?page=2)