# Who Married You? (that’s not what I mean-- check out the poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 1, 2025, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281 "2025-12-01T06:09:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/21 "2025-12-01T07:02:47Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Are you saying they are the same thing? Do you have the cites you want me to provide? I am saying that “minister” is…in _most_ usage…a broad, generic term for “clergy.” Cite already provided in post 10, quoting an actual Catholic priest: > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > The word “minister” is a broad term meaning “servant.” It’s often used to describe those who serve members of all sorts of religious congregations. > > While the term “minister” is most commonly used to describe Protestant Christian leaders, it also describes Catholic priests. There are, however, aspects of the Catholic priesthood, which make it unique among all ministries. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/22 "2025-12-01T07:03:27Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > But are ministers also priests? Not all are. As I noted: “minister” (or “clergy”) is a broad term; “priest” is a subset of minister. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/23 "2025-12-01T07:03:31Z")
So, being married by a minister is clearly NOT the same as being married by a priest (something I am 100% sure my (ex) wife would agree with). And fer sure not her mom! They are not the same. I know…I was there. I got married in a Catholic church. It was not the same as being married in a protestant church. Indeed, the priest made it clear (notably having the congregation take communion…Catholic priest was very not cool with that). ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/24 "2025-12-01T07:24:49Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > So, being married by a minister is clearly NOT the same as being married by a priest (something I am 100% sure my (ex) wife would agree with). And fer sure not her mom! Being married by a _Protestant_ minister, in a Protestant ceremony, would certainly be considered to be different from being married by a Catholic priest in a Catholic ceremony. As several of us have noted, even some _Catholics_ agree that Catholic priests are a subset of ministers. But, clearly, at least some Catholics (including your former in-laws) believe differently. Again, YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/25 "2025-12-01T07:25:59Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > A woman rabbi in 1993. The wedding was at the reception venue, not a synagogue. Well, that’s my last attempt at brevity. Was trying to keep it short and simple, and that blew up all over my face. I hardly ever post polls, though. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/26 "2025-12-01T07:28:47Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Being married by a _Protestant_ minister, in a Protestant ceremony, would certainly be considered to be different from being married by a Catholic priest in a Catholic ceremony. Note you did not say “Catholic minister.” As mentioned before, a priest may also be a minister but a minister is not a priest. That matters to Catholics (and maybe some others…I got in trouble about defining a priest here recently). ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/27 "2025-12-01T07:28:51Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I’m not really interested in continuing the hijack, The OP is loving the hijack. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/28 "2025-12-01T07:30:40Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > In the US, however, if you want to not have to go in front of a judge as well, you need a rabbi or in some cases, a cantor, to perforn the ceremony and sign the secular license. This isn’t true. I got ordained over the internet at the Universal Life Church. I’ve performed three weddings and no judge was needed. I can do this in all 50 states. All of my weddings were non-denominational but I could do a Jewish one. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/29 "2025-12-01T07:33:07Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > All of my weddings were non-denominational but I could do a Jewish one. Could you do a Jewish one? By which I mean I think the marriage would be legal in the eyes of the US government but would the Jewish religion see it as official? (really asking) ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/30 "2025-12-01T07:35:14Z")
A female minister in a non-traditional setting. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/31 "2025-12-01T07:37:10Z")
My favorite ones! (really…had some great times and not about getting lucky) ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/32 "2025-12-01T07:44:24Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Could you do a Jewish one? > > By which I mean I think the marriage would be legal in the eyes of the US government but would the Jewish religion see it as official? (really asking) I could do a Jewish one and it would be considered valid so long as all of the other elements of the ritual are correct. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/33 "2025-12-01T07:46:42Z")
That’s not what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/34 "2025-12-01T07:56:34Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I could do a Jewish one and it would be considered valid so long as all of the other elements of the ritual are correct. It’s going to come down to the individual community. An Orthodox community isn’t going to let a non-Jew officiate in their shul, I’ll bet you anything, but an Orthodox marriage that is already fully contracted by ketubah, and is done and done, as far as any Jewish needs are concerned, can be made official in the eyes of the state by a guy wearing a red union suit and standing on his head during a tailgate party, and you can toast it with beer during Passover. Long as the officiant is ordained in some way that the state recognizes. The flip-side is that you could legally bind two people in marriage who are Jewish, as far as the state is concerned, and this could (and does) happen without a Jewish marriage being also in place, and not even in the planning. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/35 "2025-12-01T08:00:22Z")
I’m Jewish. I could perform a Jewish wedding that would be considered valid. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/36 "2025-12-01T08:04:08Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I’m Jewish. Oh, NOW you mention that. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/37 "2025-12-01T08:05:20Z")
I said a couple of posts earlier that I was married by a rabbi. ---
**Author:** ![Sooner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sooner/32/7875_2.png) [@Sooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sooner)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/38 "2025-12-01T08:15:49Z")
We were married in a park, by a friend. How happened to be a minister, who ran a troubled young outreach program, with which we both volunteered. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/39 "2025-12-01T09:05:40Z")
Moderating: > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > So, being married by a minister is clearly NOT the same as being married by a priest (something I am 100% sure my (ex) wife would agree with). And fer sure not her mom! > > They are not the same. I know…I was there. I got married in a Catholic church. It was not the same as being married in a protestant church. Indeed, the priest made it clear (notably having the congregation take communion…Catholic priest was very not cool with that). And a Rabbi isn’t ever called a “minister”, either, but the OP made it very clear that she was sloppy with the language and meant “any member of the clergy of” when she wrote “minster”. This thread is not about the precise > [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > So, being married by a minister is clearly NOT the same as being married by a priest For the purpose of this thread it is exactly the same. @Whack-a-Mole , @kenobi_65 drop this hijack now. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2025, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281/40 "2025-12-01T09:18:05Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > In the US, however, if you want to not have to go in front of a judge as well, you need a rabbi or in some cases, a cantor, to perforn the ceremony and sign the secular license. The rules for weddings vary by states. Many states are quite liberal in whom they allow to officiate weddings. I’ve been to a few weddings officiated by a friend of the couple who got a one-day license from the state to perform the wedding. Also, in general, a justice of the peace is good enough, it doesn’t need to be a full judge. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-married-you-that-s-not-what-i-mean-check-out-the-poll/1025281.md?page=3)