# Who needs their ass kicked?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 19, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578 "2002-11-19T18:44:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/1 "2002-11-19T18:44:06Z")
Today was just peachy. We got a new piece of equipment from our supplier in the U.S. We’ve been waiting for this thing to come out of development for over a year now, and we’ve got customers who’d buy it in a red hot second if we just had it to deliver. So, since it is an add on module for a two way radio, we install the silly thing in one of our radios to try it out.
Shit. It doesn’t fit. You’ve got to remove a plastic strut in the radio housing to make it all go together.
Son of a bitch. The installation instructions were written by a Chinaman who learned English from a Russian who learned it from a Martian.
God damnit. The diagrams were drawn by a spastic first grader who needed to sharpen his crayons.
Fuck. The software was written by a microcephalic pissant who doesn’t know radio from Adam’s off ox.
I’ve got a serious hankering to kick some ass - and the sumbitches most deserving are out of reach.
Anybody want an ass kicking?
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### Author:  [@Jerrybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jerrybear)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/2 "2002-11-19T18:51:23Z")
The Miami of Florida football team needs to have their asses kicked.
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### Author:  [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/3 "2002-11-19T18:55:30Z")
At least six of the Cincinnati Bengals. And two coaches.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/4 "2002-11-19T18:56:04Z")
I nominate the smart-mouthed kid who insists on playing basketball outside my house. Yeah, I know it’s a public street and all, but when I’m on line, I don’t like to hear thump-thump-thump over and over and over again. I asked him to move the basketball goal (it’s wheeled) so his missed shots wouldn’t crush my plants. His response “Yeah, whatever.”
Kick his ass!!!
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### Author:  [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/5 "2002-11-19T19:03:50Z")
I nominate Ed Greenwood
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/6 "2002-11-19T19:05:08Z")
Oh, I do!! I do!!!
…wait…KICKED?
Oh. Misread that. Carry on, then.
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### Author:  [@Siemsi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siemsi)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/7 "2002-11-19T19:08:56Z")
Ditto with Bengals Ass Kicking!!!
Mort Furd,
You made me laugh out loud. ;-D
Sorry for your frustration. That type of crap happens all the time in our plant. ‘Yea, go Six Sigma…not!’
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/8 "2002-11-19T19:12:12Z")
My dog needs his ass licked. Still, that’s a mighty strange offer if you ask me.
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### Author:  [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/9 "2002-11-19T19:33:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zette \*
> \*\*Oh, I do!! I do!!! \*\*
What did you want done to your ass that’s so much better than it being kicked, eh? 😉
Oh, and when I see your name, I think of that old commercial, "Chevy Chevette, it’ll drive you happy, Chevy Chevette. . . "
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### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/10 "2002-11-19T20:41:32Z")
You can kick lieu’s ass. He’s needed it for months now.
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/11 "2002-11-19T20:47:55Z")
I nominate every shiteater that knowingly drives in the wrong lane and then tries to get over at the last second. Sorry I didn’t slow down to let you in, your Majesty.
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### Author:  [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/12 "2002-11-19T20:50:35Z")
:: Virtually ass kicking the Miami of Florida football team ::
:: Virtually ass kicking smart-mouthed kid who insists on playing basketball outside of FairyChatMom’s house ::
:: Virtually ass kicking six of the Cincinnati Bengals and two of the coaches ::
:: Virtually ass kicking Ed Greenwood ::
:: Virtually ass kicking every shiteater that knowingly drives in the wrong lane and then tries to get over at the last second ::
:: Virtually ass kicking Jack Chick :: (Just on general principles. Nobody nominated him, but he could sure use it.)
AAAAHHHHH!! That feels better.
Got anymore?
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/13 "2002-11-19T21:11:40Z")
I think you can also going the line getting ready to kick Michael Jackson’s ass for dangling his baby over a hotel balcony railing…
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/14 "2002-11-19T21:39:32Z")
Cranky, all my ass is belong to you.
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### Author:  [@fatmac98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatmac98)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/15 "2002-11-19T21:41:25Z")
Martha Burk. . .
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### Author:  [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/16 "2002-11-19T21:47:00Z")
Hell, Martha Stewart…
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/17 "2002-11-19T22:30:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mort Furd \*
> \*\*Anybody want an ass kicking? \*\*
Can [this guy](http://members.aol.com/cdarnold01/images/ohio932.jpg) help?
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### Author:  [@ralphthemuppet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralphthemuppet)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/18 "2002-11-19T22:39:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \*
> \*\*Can [this guy](http://members.aol.com/cdarnold01/images/ohio932.jpg) help? \*\*
He’s nothing compared to [this](http://www.fred.net/turtle/asskicker/asskicker.html) - sounds like we might need a season ticket for this thread.
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### Author:  [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/19 "2002-11-19T22:43:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*
> \*\*My dog needs his ass licked. Still, that’s a mighty strange offer if you ask me. \*\*
Paging **oldscratch** … **oldscratch** , please answer the white courtesy phone …
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/20 "2002-11-19T23:31:25Z")
Funny, **Enderw24** , that guy doesn’t look all _that_ busy!!!
😃
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