# Who needs their ass kicked? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578 "2002-11-19T18:44:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/21 "2002-11-19T23:44:49Z")
I’ll be perfectly honest with you. I could use a good ass kicking. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/22 "2002-11-20T11:05:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*Can [this guy](http://members.aol.com/cdarnold01/images/ohio932.jpg) help? \*\* Ah, yes. The infamous “one legged man at the ass kicking contest.” He’d no doubt be of some help, although the line could get rather backed up with people waiting for him to serve them. :: Virtually ass kicking Michael Jackson (twice) :: :: Virtually ass kicking Martha Stewart :: :: Virtually ass kicking Martha Burke :: :: Virtually ass kicking Jack Batty :: So, Jack. What did you do to deserve yours? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/23 "2002-11-20T11:25:47Z")
Jorg Haider. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/24 "2002-11-20T11:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mort Furd \* > \*\*So, Jack. What did you do to deserve yours? \*\* I don’t know. I was channelling “My Uncle Vinny.” But I’m sure I’ve done something. It probably revolves around turn signals somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/25 "2002-11-20T11:37:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*Jorg Haider. \*\* OOOOOHHH yeah. Thanks for the reminder. :: Virtually ass kicking Jorg Haider :: ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/26 "2002-11-20T12:35:33Z")
The Buckeyes of **The** Ohio State University. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/27 "2002-11-20T12:48:49Z")
Artie Fumkin, Polymer records. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/28 "2002-11-20T12:51:48Z")
[hijack]chinaman is generally considered a slur[/hijack], please return to your scheduled ass kicking. ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/29 "2002-11-20T14:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by China Guy \* > \*\*[hijack]chinaman is generally considered a slur[/hijack], please return to your scheduled ass kicking. \*\* Sorry, wasn’t intended as a slur. It was just short way to say “a person from China.” I picked China because I can’t imagine that english is the native language of anyone there. We now return to our regularly scheduled ass kicking now in progress. … kicking Artie Fumkin, Polymer records :: :: Virtually ass kicking the Buckeyes of The Ohio State University :: ---
**Author:** ![Mort\_Furd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mort\_Furd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mort_Furd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/30 "2002-11-20T19:47:01Z")
Ahhhh, damn that felt good. I just verbally kicked some ass. I had a good long talk with the chumps today that kind of heated up towards the end. I as good aas told the head engineer that their products are crappy and then had to hand the phone to a coworker before I started calling people names. Damn I’m glad I already gave notice. I’d have probably gotten fired for what I did today. But, when ya gotta bitch, ya gotta bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/31 "2002-11-20T20:04:04Z")
> [@](#): > > If you catch Bob Booth when he’s home, he’s always happy to demonstrate how the ass-kicker works. If he’s not home, you’re > welcome to take a look at it, photograph yourself with it, etc. Please don’t attempt to operate the ass-kicker without Bob present, > as it has been shown to be somewhat dangerous. Bob reported that at least once, the thing “started up by itself,” and, well, kicked > his ass. _vigorously and virtually kicking **ralphthemuppet** ’s ass for making me look like a total schmuck trying not to die laughing at my desk_ ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/32 "2002-11-20T20:28:10Z")
Scott Layden & Steve Phillips. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/33 "2002-11-20T21:03:50Z")
Let me check my DayPlanner. Let’s see… I’m getting the shit knocked out of me from 4:00 to 4:30. They’re going to knock some sense back into me from 4:30 to 4:50. I guess after they beat the crap back out of me from 4:50 to 5:15 you can kick my ass. That is, if you’re free. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/34 "2002-11-20T21:09:46Z")
**lieu** , I don’t want my foot anywhere near _that_ ass… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/35 "2002-11-20T21:16:37Z")
Isn’t the jury still out on if it’s really The Glove’s baby? ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/36 "2002-11-20T21:32:14Z")
If you really want to kick some ass, I nominate all smartmouth spoiled teenagers. And my neighbors who decided that my family doesn’t rake our leaves fast enough (i.e. the same day they do) and mowed our leaves out of our yard this afternoon. Fuckin’ retirees with nothing better to do then mow other people’s leaves without permission. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/37 "2002-11-20T22:12:13Z")
**Marc Bulger** and **Michael Vick**. There is just something about these two that drive me crazy. ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/38 "2002-11-20T23:09:14Z")
Russell Crowe, cause he’s beggin’ for it. Bill Maher, just because I think it would be incredibly humorus. Ben Affleck, for being a putz (love my ass! wake up, Dorothy!) ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/39 "2002-11-21T00:26:33Z")
If you would, please kick my boss square in the junk. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578/40 "2002-11-21T01:28:55Z")
“He’s not kicking his ass. He’s doing _something_ to his ass, but he’s not kicking it…” Esprix [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-needs-their-ass-kicked/137578.md?page=3)